Earlier this morning, when performing so-called “toxic masculinity” behavior by challenging gravity to a vertical movement contest while working out, I heard a verse of a song that caused me to think.
In the song “Somethings Missing,” by Gutter Writers, featured on the album Community Action, it is stated:
“I feel like a fraction of my heart goes to family. The other pieces get broken up every day, randomly. I feel like losing those parts leads to insanity. A piece of everyone I carry makes me strong, rapidly. Maybe I’m missing the point. Maybe I’m missing the beat. Maybe I’m missing my friends who died in the street. Maybe I’m missing the pieces of my heart I gave away. Maybe I’m missing my workout on the day to day. Mind, body, and soul, the warrior trains in darkness. Steel sharpens steel, but you don’t have to be the smartest. Determination and heart are what’s missing from these artists. I use poison tips, you can’t feel where the dart hits. Hard work, persistence; something’s that’s missing. Self-esteem and confidence, something’s that’s missing. It’s inside of you, the strength to bear witness—the will to give it all, no matter what limits are given.”
This isn’t the emo or trap styles of rap, in which lyrics are generally easy for me to dismiss while micro-tearing muscle fibers, as “Somethings Missing” serves as underground rap that warrants my attention. This makes my supposed racist, colonialist, non-inclusive, and privileged workouts especially meaningful.
The aforementioned verse speaks to a number of psychotherapeutic elements—to include those related to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)—which I use with clients. These include:
· “I feel like a fraction of my heart goes to family. The other pieces get broken up every day, randomly.” – Separating individual versus shared roles
· “I feel like losing those parts leads to insanity.” – How to manage stress related to competing interests in life
· “A piece of everyone I carry makes me strong, rapidly.” – Building resilience in relation to adversity
· “Maybe I’m missing the point. Maybe I’m missing the beat.” – Assessing one’s belief system in a critical manner
· “Maybe I’m missing my friends who died in the street. Maybe I’m missing the pieces of my heart I gave away.” – Grief and loss
· “Maybe I’m missing my workout on the day to day. Mind, body, and soul, the warrior trains in darkness.” – Self-care
· “Steel sharpens steel, but you don’t have to be the smartest.” – Accepting the state of being good enough
· “Determination and heart are what’s missing from these artists. I use poison tips, you can’t feel where the dart hits.” – Addressing matters related to how little control we have in life
· “Hard work, persistence; something’s that’s missing.” – Personal responsibility and accountability
· “Self-esteem and confidence, something’s that’s missing.” – Unconditional acceptance versus self-esteem and confidence
· “It’s inside of you, the strength to bear witness—the will to give it all, no matter what limits are given.” – One’s ability to effect change
Perhaps I’m overthinking the verse. It very well could be that my participation in activities apparently linked to a “culture of whiteness” and “fat-shaming” has me confused, so I rationalize my behavior by projecting a positive perspective onto music so that I may escape my perpetration of a harmful lifestyle, bro.
Maybe.
At any rate, I find the elements of the “Somethings Missing” verse worth considering from a mental health perspective. Perhaps you, too, may benefit from the message.
For more information about my approach to REBT, I invite you to read my following blog posts:
If you have any questions, concerns, or comments about this form of therapy, or the services I offer, I encourage you to reach out using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, and hip hop head from the old school, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Academy of the Inner Mind. (2020, April 28). Sphere of influence life coaching tool by Steven Covey [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/XA84DJK5Mrk
American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). What is psychotherapy. Retrieved from https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/psychotherapy
Bandcamp. (n.d.). Gutter Writers. Retrieved from https://gutterwriters.bandcamp.com/
Breuning, L. G. (2019, October 8). Personal responsibility and mental health. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-neurochemical-self/201910/personal-responsibility-and-mental-health
Community action - Topic. (2018, September 11). Somethings missing [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/Fr6C7oupFg0
Cornell University. (n.d.). Stress management strategies. Retrieved from https://mentalhealth.cornell.edu/stress-management-strategies
El Gharib, S. (2020, May 29). The surprising link between fitness and racism. Equality Includes You. Retrieved from https://medium.com/equality-includes-you/the-surprising-link-between-fitness-and-racism-866039cec2ae
Enriquez, A. (2021, October 25). Q. How does fair use work for book covers, album covers, and movie posters? Penn State. Retrieved from https://psu.libanswers.com/faq/336502
FitzMaurice, K. E. (n.d.). REBT & awful, terrible, horrible. Retrieved from https://kevinfitzmaurice.com/free-stuff/coping-skills/rebt-awful-terrible-horrible/
Gee, A. (2021, December 2). What does ‘underground rap’ mean today? Complex. Retrieved from https://www.complex.com/music/underground-rap-evolution
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2022, May 28). Desire and disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/desire-and-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2022, July 6). Disturbing democracy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disturbing-democracy
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2022, May 19). Mind tricks. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/mind-tricks
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Jacobson, S. (2020, June 2). Personal accountability – Why you need more of it, now. Harley Therapy. Retrieved from https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/personal-accountability.htm
Khouv, A. (2020, August 12). Tokenism, colour blindness and racist microaggressions: Fighting for visibility in the fitness industry. The Independent. Retrieved from https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/fitness-industry-race-white-black-person-of-colour-diversity-gym-microagressions-a9653156.html
Lavoie, A. (2020, December 18). 22 rap genres that define the evolution of rhyme and beat. Landr. Retrieved from https://blog.landr.com/rap-styles/
Matweychuk, W. J. (2013, October 19). Unconditional self-acceptance vs. self-esteem. REBT Doctor. Retrieved from https://rebtdoctor.com/29-blog-self-help-posts-on-rebt/unconditional-self-acceptance-vs-self-esteem
Mayo Clinic. (2022, July 14). Resilience: Build skills to endure hardship. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311
McGlothin, J. (2022, May 30). ‘Do you even lift, bro?:’ toxic gym culture perpetuates harmful lifestyles. The Purple Peptide. Retrieved from https://chantillynews.org/10371/opinions/do-you-even-lift-bro-toxic-gym-culture-perpetuates-harmful-lifestyles/
National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). Caring for your mental health. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
Qobuz. (n.d.). Community action. Retrieved from https://www.qobuz.com/se-en/album/community-action-community-action/e47ha0g1tlpyb
School of Life, The. (2017, April 28). Good enough is good enough [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/RbtflLkVv4E
Scritchfield, R. (2018, March 9). Why we need to take fat-shaming out of fitness culture. The Washington Post. Retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/wellness/why-we-need-to-take-fat-shaming-out-of-fitness-culture/2018/03/08/728365ac-1e31-11e8-9de1-147dd2df3829_story.html
Settles, I. H., Sellers, R. M., & Damas, A., Jr. (2002). One role or two?: The function of psychological separation in role conflict. Journal of Applied Psychology. Retrieved from https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0021-9010.87.3.574
Sloothunter42. (2018, December 6). Bro culture. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bro%20Culture
Smith, M., Robinson, L., & Segal, J. (2021, October). Coping with grief and loss. HelpGuide. Retrieved from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
Stacey, R. (2020, January 24). Types of rap: A guide to the many styles of hip-hop. Red Bull. Retrieved from https://www.redbull.com/us-en/types-of-rap
Turner, M. J. (2016, September 20). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), irrational and rational beliefs, and the mental health of athletes. Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5028385/
UKEssays. (2018, November). Impact of the belief system on perception of mental illness philosophy essay. Retrieved from https://www.ukessays.com/essays/philosophy/belief-system-on-perception-of-mental-illness-philosophy-essay.php?vref=1
Unbiased Katie. (2021, March 19). Dear men: Stop working out. Only Feminists. Retrieved from https://onlyfeminists.com/2021/03/19/dear-men-stop-working-out/