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The Preferences Versus Expectations Paradigm: Love Is Not Enough, Though Virtue Is
[ DISCLAIMER ] Of his body of work that I’ve consumed thus far, I most enjoy Trunk Muzik (2010) by rapper Yelawolf . On the anthology is the track “ Love Is Not Enough ”, produced by WLPWR , and containing a sample of “ Hollywood ” (1978) by the late entertainer Rick James . Yelawolf’s song tells the all-too-familiar tale of intimate partner relationships and the preferences versus expectations paradigm (i.e., flexible desires for a specific outcome versus rigid demand
Deric Hollings
12 minutes ago7 min read
Conclusions in Search of Rationale
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I invite people to consider thinking which is rational (in accordance with both logic and reason ). This is an especially worthwhile consideration when practicing one of the main tools of REBT. For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumpt
Deric Hollings
2 days ago6 min read
What'chu Gon' Do When the Walls Come Crashin' Down?
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs ). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness . For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable a
Deric Hollings
2 days ago10 min read
Personal Growth
[ DISCLAIMER ] There are many approaches to personal and professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “ mental health ”). Personally, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is the preferred method to rational living that has been most beneficial. With my approach to mental health in this regard, I focus on the individual. Understandably, this methodology may not be desirable for all cultures, communities, or character types. Alas, p
Deric Hollings
2 days ago6 min read
The Assessment Is Ongoing
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “ mental health ”), I maintain that it’s important to let clients know that the assessment is ongoing . “Okay, Deric,” you may reply, “what does that mean?” Allow me to explain. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines assessment as “in general, a judgment of the quality, worth, importance, or value of something or someone,” and in a “clinical contex
Deric Hollings
3 days ago6 min read
The Cost and Expense of Doing Good
[ DISCLAIMER ] My primary billet when serving in the United States Marine Corps (USMC; 1996-2007) was military police (MP). Although the “protect and serve” motto adopted by many law enforcement entities isn’t legally or constitutionally binding, MPs were taught to uphold this standard. The slogan meshed well with a conservative principle up with which I was raised in regard to “providing and protecting” members of one’s own family, community, and so forth. However, it
Deric Hollings
3 days ago10 min read
A Zero-Sum Game: Ya Bet' Not Come Around, or Get Shot
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs ). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness . For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable a
Deric Hollings
4 days ago8 min read
Splitting
[ DISCLAIMER ] I’m fond of a number of artists who create music under the category of horrorcore (a subgenre of hip hop music based on horror-themed and often darkly transgressive lyrical content and imagery). For instance, I appreciate the content of horrorcore rapper Novatore . On his album Masters of Morbid Creations (2022), Novatore released the song “ Split ” which was produced by C-Lance . On the chorus, the rapper states: Hyde and Jekyll , I keep the beast up i
Deric Hollings
4 days ago8 min read
Unexpected Strings: Escapism and Avoidance
[ DISCLAIMER ] Yesterday evening, when unwinding from a day of intense focus on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I listened to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Sara Collado . It was precisely the form of respite (an interval of rest or relief) I was seeking! During the set, Collado played the song “ Unexpected Strings ” (2025) by David Hasert and Moses Mehdi , featuring the elegant vocals of Lalena . The track reminded me of “ Venasque ” by Ian Pooley
Deric Hollings
4 days ago5 min read
An Inscription on Your Gravestone
[ DISCLAIMER ] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy , this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman . Lately, how much time have you devoted to contemplation of your inevitable death? How much time have you squandered when thinking about the lives of others who are also inescapably heading
Deric Hollings
4 days ago5 min read
Moral Panic: The Irrationality of Slogans Such as "Believe Women" and "Believe Victims"
[ DISCLAIMER ] Personal Anecdote The above photo is of me—the left: taken during seventh or eighth grade, and the right: taken during adulthood. When living in the Southwest Cottage of a children’s home in both seventh and eighth grade, I was placed in a residential setting due to financial insupportability. While there, I began intimate partner relationships with two girls who lived in the coed cottage. If memory serves, girl X was in my grade and girl Y was one grade
Deric Hollings
5 days ago19 min read
Reasoned Choice: Someone There Is Dying
[ DISCLAIMER ] In my youth, adults convinced me that heavy metal music was satanic (of, relating to, or characteristic of Satan or Satanism—obsession with or affinity for evil : specifically, worship of Satan marked by the travesty of Christian rites). Thus, I was forbidden from listening to metal. As such, I unfortunately missed out on enjoying metal music from Metallica . All the same, I was vaguely familiar with some of the band’s songs, because they were quite popul
Deric Hollings
5 days ago9 min read
Brighter Days: I Need a Place
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs ). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness . For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable a
Deric Hollings
6 days ago8 min read
My, My, My: If I Could Turn Back Time
[ DISCLAIMER ] The electronic dance music (EDM) song “ My My My ”, by house music producer and DJ Armand van Helden , from his album Nympho (2005), contains a sample of the song “ Comin’ Apart ” by Gary Wright from the album The Right Place (1981). I like the line “ooh, ooh-wee!” For context, “ooh-wee” (also spelled oohwee, ooowee, or hoo-wee) is an informal interjection used to express intense excitement, admiration, astonishment, or joy . As an example, “Ooh-wee, I’
Deric Hollings
6 days ago5 min read
Let's Talk About Death
[ DISCLAIMER ] During my elementary school years, my older sister and I would stay awake at night so that we could watch adult programs. On one occasion, we were able to witness the song “ Push It ” by hip hop trio Salt-N-Pepa being performed on television. The song dripped with sexual innuendo! Although not entirely aware of the ins and outs regarding sexual intercourse, my sister and I were able to ascertain the song’s meaning. That was my introduction to Salt-N-Pepa,
Deric Hollings
6 days ago6 min read
Let Go Without Attachment
[ DISCLAIMER ] When stationed aboard Camp Kinser in Okinawa, Japan while serving in the military (1997-1999), I participated in meritorious promotion boards (formal, competitive processes used to identify, evaluate, and promote exceptionally qualified enlisted Marines ahead of their peers). The last such event that I attended was aboard Marine Corps Base Camp Smedley D. Butler . I was a lance corporal (E-3), competing against other Marines of similar (though not equal) s
Deric Hollings
6 days ago7 min read
A Mover el Culo
[ DISCLAIMER ] Per one source , “The Carnival of Brazil is an annual festival held the Friday afternoon before Ash Wednesday at noon,” and, “Carnival is the most popular holiday in Brazil and has become an event of huge proportions.” I’ve been fortunate enough to attend two Brasilian Carnavals. Earlier, when thinking about the Rio de Janeiro Carnaval and how the festival period runs from Friday (February 13, 2026) to Saturday (February 21, 2026), I skimmed through my di
Deric Hollings
7 days ago5 min read
Anxiety: Stress Don't Affect Us, That's Just a Part of What Living Is
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs ). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness . For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable a
Deric Hollings
7 days ago14 min read
You Have Options
[ DISCLAIMER ] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy , this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman . The authors quote Seneca who stated, “Nothing is noble if it’s done unwillingly or under compulsion. Every noble deed is voluntary” (page 225). “Noble” means having, characterized by, ari
Deric Hollings
Feb 144 min read
A Gun up in Ya Face, and That's All You Can Come up With?
[ DISCLAIMER ] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs ). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness . For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable a
Deric Hollings
Feb 1312 min read
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