In The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion, page nine invites Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) practitioners to assist clients with understanding the difference between being rigid and being rigorous. To do this, allow me to define terms.
When discussing “rigid” in this context, I’m referring to one’s unwillingness to flexibly change or adapt irrational beliefs. When referring to “rigorous,” I’m addressing precise adherence to a method of evaluating these unhelpful beliefs.
Regarding beliefs, one source clarifies, “In REBT rational beliefs are defined as beliefs that are flexible, non-extreme, and logical (i.e., consistent with reality), and in contrast, irrational beliefs are rigid, extreme, and illogical (i.e., inconsistent with reality).”
Suppose Jane Doe uses inflexible demandingness by believing, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,” a quote falsely attributed to Marilyn Monroe.
From an REBT perspective, the inference of this rigid declaration is fairly straightforward—if you are unwilling or unable to deal with my self-disturbed bouts of sorrow, irrational fear, intolerant disgust, or fits of anger, you have no claim to my fleeting moments of amiable joy or desirable pleasure.
In other terms, Jane is saying that if a person is reluctant to put up with her temper tantrums, or at minimal incapable of indulging unhealthy behavior, Jane’s rigid conclusion is that manipulative punishment in the form of emotional withholding is forthcoming.
Or in the colloquial sense, Jane is expressing rigid terms of service—either put up with her bullshit or kick rocks! Who wouldn’t want to sign up for that enticing offer?
Rather than acquiescing to Jane’s inflexible demand, a rational person may realize that one has no control and little influence over Jane. If working with her in a clinical setting, I would help Jane to understand the benefit of a rigorous approach to her beliefs.
Regarding this, one source states, “The Rational Emotive Behavior therapist strongly believes in a rigorous application of the rules of logic, straight thinking, and of scientific method to everyday life.” As such, I would assist Jane in rigorously examining the utility of her rigid demands.
To better understand how I do this, I encourage the reader to explore the Disputation category of my blog. The main purpose of the current post is to emphasize the difference between what is considered rigid and rigorous from an REBT perspective.
Whereas rigidity relates to inflexibility, being rigorous entails thorough examination of self-disturbing beliefs. Would you like to know more about how to stop upsetting yourself by use of REBT techniques?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
Berger, V. (n.d.). Rational emotive behavior therapy. Psychologist Anytime Anywhere. Retrieved from https://www.psychologistanywhereanytime.com/treatment_and_therapy_psychologist/psychologist_rational_emotive_behavioral_therapy.htm
Bublikhaus. (n.d.). Angry teacher with pointer shows something on black chalk board [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/angry-teacher-with-pointer-shows-something-black-chalk-board_11898910.htm#query=rigorous&position=24&from_view=search&track=sph&uuid=7b61badb-f502-4e58-af52-9fa3d3c52048
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Blog – Categories: Disputation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/blog/categories/disputation
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2022, December 9). Journaling. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/journaling
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, June 27). Rigid terms of service. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-terms-of-service
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2023, August 6). The science. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-science
Palma, B. (2022, September 20). Did Marilyn Monroe really say this? Snopes. Retrieved from https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/marilyn-monroe-quote/
Turner, M. J. (2016, September 20). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), irrational and rational beliefs, and the mental health of athletes. Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01423/full
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marilyn Monroe. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe
Zero of da Star67 Boys. (2004, April 4). Kick rocks. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Kick%20rocks