Accepting What Is
As is usually the case with my rap-influenced blog content, when working out this morning I heard a song worth discussing from a Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) perspective. Reminiscent of something one may listen to when cruisin’ in a SLAB, I paused for a moment when hearing the second verse of this mellow tune.
Rapper Big Scoob stated something on his song “That Way,” from the album Duality, which was reflective of the is-ought problem— when one makes claims about what ought to be that are based solely on statements about what is. Big Scoob stated:
They love you, then they hate you, then they love you again. Say you rootin’ for me, you don’t want me to win. I really can’t blame you, you just doin’ what you do. Just know if it was me, I wouldn’t do it to you.
Rather than disturbing himself about how he thinks another person ought to behave, Big Scoob simply acknowledges what is and accepts the matter altogether. Noteworthy, he adds commentary about how he doesn’t blame the other person for acting in a particular fashion.
Quite often, we demand that others should, must, or ought to treat us in this or that manner. However, Big Scoob seems to understand that while he may prefer for people to do as he wishes, they are under no obligation to please him.
Remarkably, the rapper uses unconditional other-acceptance by verifying that while he wouldn’t treat someone in the manner he’s being treated, he can tolerate the treatment nonetheless. This is a healthy perspective.
Do you find that when others don’t behave as you wish for them to, you become overly emotional or unhelpfully disturbed? Would you like to know more about how to accept what is rather than rigidly demanding what ought to be? I may be able to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, and hip hop head from the old school, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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