It isn’t uncommon for people to initially present to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) sessions with me and express sentiment related to the perceived brokenness of their lives. It’s as though the proverbial mirror at which they once gazed is fractured into shards.
Developing a therapeutic alliance with new clients can be done simultaneously while focusing on the fragments of a mirror brought to session, per page 24 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Unlike some other psychotherapeutic modalities, REBT practitioners don’t need to first develop a rapport with our clients.
In fact, we can begin examining the perception of a broken mirror at the very first session of treatment or management. Use of pragmatic REBT tools like the ABC Model and unconditional acceptance are useful for application at the moment a person understands these techniques.
Whether in the initial session or as time eventually passes and I’ve seen a client for a while, pieces of the mirror come together and present an accurate representation of the person. Noteworthy, one of my aims is to show my clients that they aren’t their problems.
For instance, I’ve never seen a client named “Major Depressive Disorder” (MDD) or “Borderline Personality Disorder” (BPD). Although I’ve worked with clients who have these conditions, not a single person with whom I’ve worked is their illness or disorder.
Moreover, I aim to demonstrate to my clients that regardless of what they have, it’s their irrational beliefs about these conditions—and not entirely the illnesses or disorders themselves—which cause self-disturbance. This is because one’s beliefs about MDD, BPD, and other conditions can lead to unpleasant consequences.
Once my clients understand how to stop upsetting themselves with unhelpful beliefs, I find it useful to use the reflection process with them. This isn’t the same thing as the individual’s experience at an initial appointment, whereby a broken mirror is brought into session for review.
Rather, the reflection process is where clients “stand back” and reflect upon the work we’ve done together, per page 25 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. This process is used throughout the therapeutic alliance, as a means of positive reinforcement of desired behavior.
Ultimately, as a client is able to see a clearer representation of reality—that one is a fallible human being and isn’t broken due to diagnoses such as MDD, BPD, etc.—the individual is then able to tolerate and accept oneself, others, and the world as is.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Ackerman, C. E. (2019, January 19). Positive reinforcement in psychology (definition + examples). PositivePsychology. Retrieved from https://positivepsychology.com/positive-reinforcement-psychology/
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378
Freepik. (n.d.). Side view unknown woman holding broken mirror [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/side-view-unknown-woman-holding-broken-mirror_29801106.htm#query=reflection%20mirror&position=17&from_view=search&track=ais&uuid=cb2bd81f-6830-4fbf-b107-b58304b1a46e
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2022, November 4). Human fallibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/human-fallibility
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2022, December 14). The is-ought problem. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-is-ought-problem
Hollings, D. (2024, January 11). Therapeutic alliance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/therapeutic-alliance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance