“So, Deric, no one can upset you, right?” That’s what a staff member of a behavioral health clinic at which I interned said to me when in graduate school for counseling and as he discovered that I’d chosen to focus on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) between 2009 and 2011.
Familiar with this psychotherapeutic modality, though skeptical of it, the staff member apparently made it his mission to cause doubt in my mind regarding REBT. Repeatedly, he’d attempt to cause me self-upset by supposed button-pushing.
As an example, the staff member would talk openly about his sexual proclivities at inappropriate times, turn toward me with a grin, and ask, “But no one can upset you, right?” Perceivably, he was awaiting a reaction to the vile exploits he carefully detailed.
At that time, I’d already doubted the REBT technique of unconditional acceptance (UA). Something about the term “unconditional” wasn’t…well, acceptable to me. My condition upon the proposed lack of conditions, in regard to acceptance, hindered my use of the helpful tool.
Nevertheless, I valued the ABC model technique and kept from self-disturbing with irrational beliefs about the staff member’s obnoxious behavior. Although one may suspect that I lament that experience, because some of the sexual descriptions were quite graphic, I don’t.
In fact, I’m grateful for the lesson in encouragement of doubtfulness. Now, as I practice REBT in my personal and professional life, I’m able to remain honest with myself and clients about doubts, reservations, and objections to aspects of REBT theory and practice, per page 222 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion.
Open, honest, and vulnerable discussion about these matters is key to understanding, believing in, and routinely practicing REBT. For instance, a client recently said to me, “I don’t know, Deric, it seems like a copout” to tolerate and accept how little control and influence this person actually has.
My client’s comfort in communicating doubt afforded us an opportunity to explore discomfort associated with the individual’s reservation to UA. By the end of session, this person acknowledged and reportedly accepted the productive technique of UA.
Encouragement of doubtfulness promotes growth and I’m pleased to continue growing in my own life while also witnessing growth in the lives of the clients with whom I work. Would you like to know more about REBT, growth, and encouragement of doubtfulness in this regard?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
Photo credit (edited), fair use
References:
Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-rebt-therapists-pocket-companion-d185164652.html
Hollings, D. (2024, May 30). Behavioral health care. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/behavioral-health-care
Hollings, D. (2024, January 10). Button-pushing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/button-pushing
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings
Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Open, honest, and vulnerable communication. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/open-honest-and-vulnerable-communication
Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2024, January 16). Understanding, belief, and practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/understanding-belief-and-practice
Lookstudio. (n.d.). Front view of pensive pretty woman. Curly girl thinking on pink background [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/front-view-pensive-pretty-woman-curly-girl-thinking-pink-background_12884362.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=0&uuid=0bdc9ae4-916e-492a-9141-23872b38cc0d
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