Typically, I try to refrain from use of dichotomous choices. Offering this or that options isn’t entirely helpful, so I value offering at least one alternative choice.
To give an example of an extreme option involving a binary decision, consider the introduction of historic Wu-Tang Clan group member GZA’s song “4th Chamber” from the 1995 classic Liquid Swords album. The track used a sample of the film Shogun Assassin (1980).
As a highly suspicious Shogun grew paranoid in regards to his valued assassin, the leader had ninjas attempt to kill the assassin. However, the ninjas failed at their mission, only managing to kill the assassin’s wife while leaving her son and husband alive.
Dead set on revenge, the assassin provided his son – so young that he couldn’t yet talk – a dichotomous option with potential for extreme consequences. In the scene, the assassin states to the boy while presenting a sword and ball:
Soon, you may be seeing Heaven. Choose the sword and you will join me. Choose the ball and you join your mother in death. You don’t understand my words, but you must choose. So, come boy, choose life or death.
A pragmatic third option would have been to give the child to friends, relatives, or others in an attempt to forego the path of vengeance with a child present or the murdering of one’s son. However, that perhaps wouldn’t have made as interesting a scene.
Reflecting upon that dichotomous choice, I consider the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In particular, I’m reminded of what I stated in a blogpost entitled Understanding, Belief, and Practice:
I suspect that a lack of understanding, failure to believe, and neglect of practice have played a key role in why some people have neglected or abandoned REBT altogether.
Moreover, I think of what the late psychologist Albert Ellis, who developed REBT, once stated:
The insight that I made myself disturbed – I foolishly listened to my mother and father, and took them too seriously…and I’m still doing it and that now I require work and practice, work and practice to give up my biological and sociological tendency to disturb myself – that will help you, not the belief that I disturb myself and that I don’t have to. That’ll help, but not that much.
I now contemplate a binary choice through use of an analogy. REBT isn’t like an umbrella, to be used on occasion. Rather, it’s akin to prescription eyewear that may enhance one’s daily experience with life.
It occurs to me that some people use this psychotherapeutic technique when the storms of their lives may otherwise leave individuals drenched in anguish. These people then whip out tools like the ABC model and unconditional acceptance when most needed.
However, without proper maintenance of the REBT instrument – through “work and practice, work and practice” advocated by Ellis – these individuals experience further disturbance when strong winds of change produce significant challenge to those unfamiliar with how to use an umbrella.
On the other hand, people who rely on their prescription eyewear on a daily basis learn to look for helpful alternatives to self-disturbance. When walking outside and a storm unexpectedly sets upon them, these people don’t panic.
Rather, they see clearly enough to observe awnings, bridges, and other coverings under which they may dart. They also look for other people who may share an umbrella, establishments which may allow visitors, and other opportunities to protect themselves from the elements.
Importantly, glasses become dirty or scratched with use. As well, raindrops on lenses may blur one’s vision. There is no perfect use of REBT. Nevertheless, prescription eyewear can enhance one’s life experience regardless of weather patterns; whereas, an umbrella has limited utility.
So, come reader, choose the umbrella or glasses… or why not both? (How’s that for a third option?)
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
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At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
AEI. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Albert Ellis Institute. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/
Andreas. (n.d.). Portrait of young man in the rain [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/portrait-young-man-rain_26203009.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=22&uuid=aec8d828-cd7a-4c38-aeeb-ef1416284ab8
GZA. (2018, October 29). 4th Chamber [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/nkjait7wm4k?si=r30WVh1Qyo6gz3do
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
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Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice
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Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model
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