Considering political turmoil over the past couple weeks, and having written a number of blogposts related to issues which many people find despairing, I’ll focus on hope in the current entry. As an intransitive verb, hope may be defined as the act of cherishing a desire with anticipation: wanting something to happen or be true.
From a Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) perspective, I recognize the distinction between desire and disturbance. In and of itself, cherishing a desire for something to happen isn’t unhelpful.
However, irrationally demanding that something must happen is what causes self-disturbance. In essence, people upset themselves when instead of using a hopeful outlook they unproductively require that something must occur in a particular manner.
Since not everyone appreciates or identifies with political matters, I’ll instead address the hope-despair distinction using a situation with which many people are familiar: romantic love. Despair may be defined as an utter loss of hope. Have you ever self-disturbed with beliefs which led to despair in regard to love?
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
Addressing unproductive attitudes, the REBT technique of the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs. In this way, the loss of love (Action) is met with unhelpful Beliefs and such assumptions produce unpleasant Consequences.
Illustrating how self-disturbance occurs in regard to an intimate partner relationship, and how one may discover hope rather than causing despair from unfavorable beliefs, I consider the electronic dance music (EDM) track “A Spring of Hope” from Stoneface & Terminal which features the vocals of Fenna Day. Lyrics include:
Just when I thought [Belief]
I’d seen it all
I settled into darkness [Consequence]
And made it my home
Everything was static
And in its place
Nowhere left to go
In this barren space [Despair]
Sometimes being lost
Is what it takes to be found
I’m on my way home
Taking the long way ‘round [Disputation]
On a land
Burned to the ground
In a battlefield
Of love
I found softness
Deep inside
A spring of hope [Hope]
On a journey
To what’s real [Realism]
In a world of make believe [Idealism]
I found softness
Deep inside
A spring of hope [Hope]
Fenna Day describes settling into darkness (Consequence) after having thought that she’d seen it all (Belief). One distorted inference that may be drawn here is that the vocalist likely Believed, “I’ve seen all there is to see, so I can’t stand witnessing this relationship falling apart, because I should’ve known better than to fall for that which was obviously headed for collapse.”
An assumption of this sort could result in darkness which is then made one’s home. Of course, darkness of this sort suggests an unhealthy negative emotion stemming from lost hope associated with one’s irrational Beliefs and which constitutes despair.
Helpfully, Fenna Day then transitions into being on her way home – presumably back to a hopeful disposition – and taking the long way to get there. Although I’m admittedly stretching the meaning implied in “A Spring of Hope,” I posit that the challenging process of Disputation is a method of perspective-shifting from despair to hope in this regard.
The vocalist addresses being on a metaphorical “battlefield” of hopelessness when maintaining an unproductive attitude about a dissolved relationship (Action), though discovering “softness” within. Through the lens of REBT, this is viewed as the vulnerable process of establishing Effective new beliefs.
A move from despair associated with unrealized and self-disturbed hope toward a realistic understanding of the world is what can reestablish meaningful hope. This is an especially poignant point when considering use of the REBT technique related to unconditional acceptance.
If one can understand the process of self-disturbance and how to get better through use of REBT techniques in regard to romantic relationships falling apart, similar methods may be used in regard to drowning in despair associated with attitudes about politics. Finding a spring of hope is possible if you know how and where to look.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
ArtistInfo. (n.d.). Fenna Day. Retrieved from https://music.metason.net/artistinfo?name=Fenna%20Day
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