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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Arm and Disappointed


 

Practicing rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) in my spare time, I enjoy incorporating electronic dance music (EDM) themes into the content of my blog. Of course, it helps that I have a longstanding appreciation for EDM. Otherwise, blogposts such as this one would bore me.

 

Noteworthy, in a blog entry entitled EDM and REBT, I expressed about my time as a DJ, “My personal favorite [EDM genre] in the ‘90s and early ‘00s was house music.” Likewise, I stated in a blogpost entitled U Don’t Know Me:

 

Unlike many trance or other synthesizer-laden tracks of the ‘90s, which contained minimal vocals, house music of the time often used meaningful messages.

 

One such song was featured on Armand van Helden’s 1998 album 2 Future 4 U, entitled “You Don’t Know Me,” though originally titled “U Don’t Know Me,” and which features the soulful vocals of Duane Harden.

 

Throughout the late 90s and early ‘00s, I appreciated van Helden’s contribution to EDM. Regarding his notoriety, one source states that van Helden is a “DJ, producer, and remixer who has been one of the most celebrated figures in house and dance music since the late ‘80s.”

 

The message I’m conveying thus far is that Armand van Helden is a big deal in the genre of house music, my favorite type of EDM. To him, I owe many joyous and pleasurable memories of dancing the night away in clubs and mixing his tracks for hours on end in my barracks room.

 

Recently, I discovered a YouTube video of van Helden spinning at the Boiler Room in Miami, Florida. Interestingly, I observed many of the partygoers behaving in a seemingly disinterested manner.

 

Had I been present for one of his sets back when I used to attended raves and clubs, I would’ve stomped a hole in the dancefloor. However, it appeared to me as though a number of people in the video were more concerned with the cellphones than with a house music legend in their midst.

 

Admittedly, I wasn’t self-disturbed by what I witnessed. For context, REBT uses the ABC model to demonstrate how when undesirable Actions occur and unhelpful Beliefs are then used, people upset themselves with these assumptions which produce unpleasant Consequences.

 

Unproductive outcomes of such attitudes may relate to unwanted emotions (e.g., anger), uncomfortable bodily sensations (e.g., tightness in the jaw), and unfavorable behavior (e.g., going into the comment section of a YouTube video and complaining).

 

Noteworthy, regarding the consequential emotive effects of irrational beliefs, there’s a difference between unhealthy and healthy negative emotions. Respectively, rageful behavior is associated with anger. Alternatively, shrugging behavior is correlated with disappointment.

 

When I observed the video of Armand, I wasn’t disturbed. Rather, I was mildly disappointed by the notion that attendees at the Boiler Room weren’t having as fun of an experience as I imaginarily would’ve at their age.

 

Irrationally using confirmation bias to seek out others with opinions of like mind in the YouTube comments, I came upon one commenter who stated, “If this was in [United Kingdom], Spain, Greece, Belgium, anywhere in Europe the crowd would understand who they got there.”

 

Another person responded to that comment by stating, “Exactly.. Greetings from Athens. Armand, just come over in Greece, you legend! We’ll do our best to bring you [I]nstagram-free people, just party vibe - you deserve it man.”

 

Done with illogically and unreasonably confirming my bias, I then thought, “Who am I or anyone else to tell others how they should, must, or ought to behave during an Armand van Helden set? Besides, how’s going into the comment section showing any less interest than taking selfies?”

 

Thus, I effectively disputed the unfavorable belief used to generate disappointment – a healthy negative emotion that I don’t personally categorize as disturbance. At that, I was able to refocus my attention to van Helden’s set. And, I’m glad I did!

 

Transitioning from his song with Brittles, “Flirt to Convert,” to a remix of British duo Ph.D.’s track “I Won’t Let You Down,” van Helden played what is presumably Paolo Scebba’s remixed version “I Won’t Let You Down (bootleg remix).” I found it a delightful moment reminiscent of yesteryear when I often enjoyed van Helden’s mixing.

 

What could’ve been a disturbing moment was instead a disappointing one. Then, disputing a dis-pleasurable attitude, I was left delighted. This is the process of REBT. This is how to live rationally. Big up to Armand van Helden! Respect.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

AllMusic. (n.d.). Armand van Helden. Retrieved from https://www.allmusic.com/artist/armand-van-helden-mn0000928160#biography

Boiler Room. (2024, July 11). Armand Van Helden | Boiler Room: Miami [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/VflpW-6ezIQ?si=rwoMaQyCEuHYKPc1

Discogs. (n.d.). Paolo Scebba. Retrieved from https://www.discogs.com/artist/2498344-Paolo-Scebba

Edible. (2023, June 16). Armand Van Helden & Brittles - Flirt to Convert (club mix) [Edible] [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/aGm4xy_BOzI?si=taEBMYYhnTT2jxdc

Hollings, D. (2023, August 28). Confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/confirmation-bias-and-cognitive-dissonance

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, May 1). EDM and REBT. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/edm-and-rebt

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, January 5). U don’t know me. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/u-don-t-know-me

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Hollings, D. (2024, October 11). Vibes. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/vibes

London Records. (2022, April 15). Armand Van Helden - U Don’t Know Me (Official video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/-bsONE-kZwI?si=rQgoeMCZuh0XOGgO

Neochin. (2004, June 17). Big up. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=big%20up

Oxygene 80. (2016, June 26). PhD - I Won’t Let You Down (HQ) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/kF_1x5gdXwM?si=1ELp07oDnnUAii0e

PAOLOSCEBBA. (2016, September 11). Ph.D. vs Paolo Scebba - I won’t let you down (Bootleg remix) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/lMC7ucImJQY?si=evOKnqs5mJhxUexA

Spotify. (n.d.). Brittles. Retrieved from https://open.spotify.com/artist/4AatAhtKlfnbdMwlxdTwwr

Wikipedia. (n.d.). 2 Future 4 U. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Future_4_U

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Armand van Helden. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armand_van_Helden

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Duane Harden. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duane_Harden

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ph.D. (band). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ph.D._(band)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). You Don’t Know Me (Armand Van Helden song). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Don%27t_Know_Me_(Armand_Van_Helden_song)

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