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  • Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Each One, Teach One



In high school, I drove my Ford Escort GT through the streets of Bomb City with the seat back. The above-indicated photo isn’t deceptive, because I allowed myself approximately six inches of visibility from the top of my dashboard.


Remarkably, I didn’t cause an accident when driving in such a reckless manner. However, on my way to school one morning, another motorist totaled my vehicle when she slammed into the back of my car.


The responding police officer made a joke, something to the effect of, “She hit you pretty hard, because both front seats dropped down to the backseat.” I suspect that he understood the urban trend of riding around town with the seat back.


Knowledge of the fad was instilled to me from my gang-related friends, who’d learned the craze from people older than them. Word-of-mouth instruction was common back then, often facilitated through the medium of rap.


In fact, throughout the ‘90s, “each one, teach one” was an oft-quoted aphorism within hip hop. Per one source:


The phrase Each One, Teach One is an African proverb that originated in the United States during slavery when Africans were denied education. When someone learned how to read or write, it became their responsibility to teach someone else. The idea is to spread knowledge for the betterment of your community.


I understood the adage to relate to matters people considered positive, neutral, and negative. For instance, teaching others about the five elements of hip hop was considered a positive action geared towards increasing awareness about the subculture.


Teaching individuals about hip hop dance was a largely neutral endeavor. However, teaching people about intergenerational continuity in gang membership was viewed negatively, because doing so perpetuated cycles of violence.


The current post addresses the latter educational element. On his 2014 mixtape Shyne Coldchain II, rapper Vince Staples released a song called “Nate.” The first verse is as follows:


As a kid, all I wanted was to kill a man

Be like my daddy’s friends, hopping out that minivan

Chrome 38s spinning like a ceiling fan

Crying on my momma’s phone, swearing he a different man

Talking to me monotone, hardly ever coming home

Knew he was the villain, never been a fan of Superman

Beatin’ on my momma, in the kitchen screaming:

“Bitch, you better listen when I speak my mind!”

Used to think he was unbreakable, he did fed time

But made sure a nigga plate was full and I shined

Was walking in the first day of school, new J’s and all of that

Football was cornerback, never made a game, I played for Compton High

But my daddy was the man, that would be suicide

Picked me up from visitation in the newest ride

Always told me that he loved me, fuck his foolish pride

As a kid, all I wanted was to kill a man


Staples describes the chaos of his upbringing and how despite it all he admired his dad and his father’s friends. Rather than each one teaching one about how not to behave, Staples begins and ends his verse describing a desire to terminate a life.


When thinking about this verse through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I’m reminded of two quotes from the individual who originated this psychotherapeutic modality, Albert Ellis. For the first quote, Ellis reportedly stated:


The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.


I consider this citation as empowering to those who would otherwise embrace a victimhood narrative in relation to their upbringing. As a child, Staples apparently learned that violence was acceptable and rather that thinking critically about that lesson—and I don’t blame a child for being unable to do so—he presumably accepted his social education at face value.


Without disputing our irrational beliefs, we can grow up misinformed about how life actually works. Where REBT is concerned, truth related to this process is outlined in the ABC Model.


In particular, REBT proposes that actions we experience in life do not lead to emotional, physical, or behavioral consequences—forming an Action-Consequence connection. As such, a child witnessing the behavior of an abusive parent isn’t what causes fury towards others.


Rather, REBT maintains that we disturb ourselves with our beliefs about the actions we experience—creating a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Therefore, a child observes a hostile parent and assumes this is how a person should, must, or ought to behave, and this unhelpful belief leads to a detrimental consequence.


This model of psychotherapy values personal responsibility and accountability. When we realize that we disturb ourselves with unproductive beliefs, we can then do something productive to alter our outcomes. Addressing this point, the second Ellis quote relates to when he ostensibly stated:


Just because people do not like adversity, they decide that it should not exist. They say, “You disturbed me,” or, “It disturbed me,” or, “My mother disturbed me” – They won’t accept responsibility for their own disturbance. They refuse to accept the way it is. And then they get depressed about their depression. They rage about their rage. They’re screwballs.


To further illustrate the B-C connection, consider the second verse of “Nate”:


As a kid, all I wanted was a hundred grand

Uncle counting money while my daddy cut them grams

Made me promise that this shit would never touch my hands

And it never did, said it’d make me be a better man

Smoking in the crib, hiding dip inside of soda cans

Black bandana on his arm, needle in his hand

Momma trying to wake him up, young, so I ain’t understand

Why she wouldn’t let my daddy sleep, used to see him stand

Out in the alley through my window

Drinking Hen’ with his homies blowing cig’ smoke

Lights flashing, now he running from the Winslow’s

Hear him screaming for my momma at the backdoor

Sometimes she wouldn’t open it, sitting on the couch

Face emotionless, I don’t think they ever noticed that I noticed it

As a kid, all I wanted a hundred grand


Though not as drastic as the desire to kill a man, Staples describes wanting to make money after learning from those who taught him through their demonstrated behavior. This isn’t to suggest that every child who witnesses criminal money-making activities will seek to emulate similar actions.


For instance, when hanging out with my gang-affiliated friends who acted as street pharmacists, I didn’t serve with my homies. All the same, each one taught one back then and I learned to ride ‘round the city with the seat back. Regarding this, the chorus of “Nate” is:


‘Cause my daddy did it, eyes bloodshot

With the Caddy tinted, fuck handouts

Fuck the county building, never seen that

Catch him riding ‘round the city with the seat back

With the seat back, with the seat back

Catch him ride ‘round the city with the seat back

With the seat back, with the seat back

Catch him ride ‘round the city with the seat back



By the time I replaced my destroyed Ford Escort GT with a BMW 325i, I continued to practice what I was taught by keeping my blue plush velour-lined seats back. My choice of vehicles was neutral, my decision to devote time to dangerous companions was negative, and the lesson I’ve learned about that phase of my life is positive.


Now, I use “each one, teach one” to influence the lives of others. Herein, I’ve demonstrated how this is done through personal anecdote, REBT principles, and rap music.


We needn’t resort to beliefs of victimhood associated with the actions we experience, because we have choices in life. Whether we want to kill a man, make a hundred grand, or ride ‘round the city with the seat back, we can choose helpful outcomes when faced with unhelpful circumstances.


If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.


As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.


At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!



Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


References:


Albert Ellis Institute, The. (n.d.). About Albert Ellis, Ph.D. Retrieved from https://albertellis.org/about-albert-ellis-phd/

Augustyn, M. B., Ward, J. T., and Krohn, M. D. (2017, June 11). Exploring intergenerational continuity in gang membership. Journal of Crime and Justice. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5695689/

Brooklyn Academy of Music. (n.d.). Elements of hip-hop. Retrieved from https://www.bam.org/media/5500824/Elements_of_Hip-hop.pdf

Charlie. (2021, July 23). The reason why people insist on calling Amarillo “Bomb City.” Mix 94.1, Townsquare Media. Retrieved from https://mix941kmxj.com/the-reason-why-people-insist-on-calling-amarillo-bomb-city/

College of Education. (n.d.). Each one, teach one. The University of Arizona. Retrieved from https://coe.arizona.edu/each-one-teach-one

Ex-Dip smoker. (2008, October 29). Dip cigarette. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dip%20cigarette

FitzMaurice, K. E. (n.d.). Albert Ellis quotations. Retrieved from https://kevinfitzmaurice.com/lists-and-links/quotations-topics/albert-ellis-quotations/

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Blog – Categories: Disputation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/blog/categories/disputation

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2022, November 8). Information overload. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/information-overload

Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership

Hollings, D. (2023, April 24). On truth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-truth

Hollings, D. (2023, March 25). Question everything. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/question-everything

Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2022, December 23). The A-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-a-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2022, November 25). Victimhood. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/victimhood

Latosha. (2003, October 27). Serve. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Serve

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McKinney, A. (2007, June 15). Street pharmacist. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Street%20Pharmacist

Michael Knight Michael Knight. (2001, January 24). Winslow’s. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Winslow%27s

Millar, C. (2006, May 2). Hip-hop dance. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hip%20hop%20dance

SixiLiX. (2002, December 27). Henny. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Henny

Staples, V. (2014, March 31). Vince Staples - Nate (official music video) [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/CdQN5xTuFUM

Street.Nations. (2008, September 15). Caddy. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Caddy

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Shyne Coldchain II. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shyne_Coldchain_II

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Vince Staples. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Staples

Yer boye. (2017, November 14). J’s. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=J%E2%80%99s

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