In 2015, after an unpleasant breakup, I came across a trove of electronic dance music (EDM) tracks which provided me comfort. One of these songs was “Life Happens” by Ramon Vincent and Denise Rivera. Lyrics to the vocal trance track include:
I never saw you for who you were; couldn’t see myself making your mistakes. I always had it under control, so I could never be compromised. And I could never be like you. Life happens while we focus on all the wrong things, as we forget the love we feel. With so much guilt, so much pain, it’s hard to know what to do, where to go.
The melodic vocals resonated with me, because I understood the process of misperceiving a person due to irrationally believing in a false interpretation of the individual. Who hasn’t been there before?
Also, and by no fault of others, people sometimes mistake the illusion of control as a deterrent from committing the errors we see in others. In all honesty, I was no better or worse than the person with whom I was romantically involved, nor could I ultimately control or influence her behavior.
However, and similar to the words sung by Rivera, at the time I deceptively believed I could never be like the person who dissolved our romantic relationship. In essence, I fooled myself.
Through the haze of chemically-induced emotions associated with the partnership, I wasn’t seeing things clearly. Moreover, when the relationship reached its conclusion, it was difficult to connect with the love I once experienced.
All the while, life was happening. In the moment of unpleasant consequence concerning the beliefs I maintained at the time, it was difficult to know what to do, where to go from that point and moving forward.
Thankfully, I maintained knowledge of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and had a substantial support network to keep me grounded in reality. After all, I had clients to see and a life to live, so I couldn’t afford to self-disturb into a miserable and dysfunctional state of being.
Life happens. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, it’s storm clouds and muddy paths. During the latter, when experiencing an unpleasant breakup, we have options other than focusing on “all the wrong things,” as suggested by Rivera.
If you’re currently going through the storm of a dissolved romantic relationship or you’ve recently made it through a downpour and you’re finding it difficult to find a dry place, I may be able to help. REBT and a healthy support system helped me, and a similar approach may help you when life inevitably happens.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s original EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Hollings, D. (2023, April 22). Control. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/control
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (2022, November 10). Holding a fairy in your hands. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/holding-a-fairy-in-your-hands
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2022, November 4). Human fallibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/human-fallibility
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2022, October 30). Luv(sic). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/luv-sic
Hollings, D. (2023, December 25). Perception isn’t reality. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/perception-isn-t-reality
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, September 8). Shame attacking. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/shame-attacking
Hollings, D. (2023, September 6). The absence of suffering. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-absence-of-suffering
Mixcloud. (n.d.). Ramon Vincent. Retrieved from https://www.mixcloud.com/ramonvincentofficial/
RazNitzanMusic. (2015, April 17). Ramon Vincent & Denise Rivera - Life Happens (original mix) full [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/a-S-UAjUsUI?si=xCcyZDRnxj2DwzAX
Rivera, D. (n.d.). Denise Rivera [Official website]. Denise Rivera. Retrieved from https://www.deniserivera.com/
SoundCloud. (n.d.). Ramon Vincent & Denise Rivera - Life Happens (radio edit) (full lyrics version). Retrieved from https://soundcloud.com/ramonvmusic/ramon-vincent-denise-rivera-life-happens-radio-edit-full-lyrics-version