We're Going Around in Circles: The Circle Exercise

[DISCLAIMER]

When recently listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Lisa Marty, I heard her spin the song “Circles (Extended Mix)” (2024) by Deflee and Panic Chase. Lyrics state, “We’re going around in circles. When is this going to end?”

Viewing these lyrics through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I think of an helpful exercise designed to enhance the therapeutic alliance. For context, the American Psychological Association thusly defines this psychotherapeutic relationship:

[A] cooperative working relationship between client and therapist, considered by many to be an essential aspect of successful therapy. Derived from the concept of the psychoanalytic working alliance, the therapeutic alliance comprises bonds, goals, and tasks.

Bonds are constituted by the core conditions of therapy, the client’s attitude toward the therapist, and the therapist’s style of relating to the client; goals are the mutually negotiated, understood, agreed upon, and regularly reviewed aims of the therapy; and tasks are the activities carried out by both client and therapist.

Sometimes it’s as though I’m “going around in circles” with clients, as the people with whom I work may ask themselves, “When is this going to end?” When aware that this experience is at hand, it can be useful to try the circle exercise, which one source thusly describes (page 297):

This is a concrete procedure that orients the client to the intimate nature of the therapeutic relationship. Five concentric circles are drawn on a sheet of paper with the letter A drawn in the center and the letters B, C, D, and E labeled and placed between subsequent circles.

The counselor would explain that circle A indicates a person’s most private thoughts and feelings, those that he or she generally does not share or reveal to others except perhaps to the most trusted friends or family members. Other friends and acquaintances who are less emotionally close or not part of the private inner circle (A) of friends tend to have information that is more on the periphery, such as in the C, D, and E circles.

The relationship between the counselor and counselee works best when they are engaging in discussions concerning information (thoughts, feelings, sensations, images, behaviors, relationships, etc.) from the B area, which would be private information such as in the A circle. Although initially the client may not feel comfortable sharing A-level information, this would be the ultimate goal.

Recently, some variant of the circle exercise was used with my client of a couple years (“client X”). Often, client X presents to session and reports personal growth through use of REBT techniques. Both intellectually and emotionally insightful, she’s made significant progress.

Given how client X has demonstrated an ability to get better, rather than simply feeling better, I’ve been ignorant (lacking of knowledge, education, or awareness) about the fact that I’ve not been privy to circle A information. Think of all that time, money, and effort she’s devoted!

Favorably, client X recently divulged that I was in either circle C or D regarding a crucial aspect of her life. This was no insignificant detail, such as whether or not she prefers pineapple on pizza or if she places a toilet paper roll on the dispenser going under rather than over the fixture.

Once client X shared that she’d been keeping her secret from me, I was then able to use a form of the circle exercise as a means of preventing us from “going around in circles” any longer. Now, I share this helpful tool with you—irrespective of whether you’re a client or therapist.

Working within the circle A or B category is ideal when seeking to adequately address one’s issues in psychotherapy. Perhaps knowledge of the circle exercise may help strengthen your therapeutic alliance. In this way, you won’t unhelpfully ask, “When is this going to end?”

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Therapeutic alliance. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/therapeutic-alliance

Apple Music. (n.d.). Deflee. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/deflee/1485486170

Apple Music. (n.d.). Panic Chase. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/panic-chase/1533792924

Deflee – Topic. (2024, March 28). Circles (Extended Mix) [Image; video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/WcIAOZpebZI?si=F4NBi0Cln4moayiG

Hollings, D. (2026, February 8). Adaptive and maladaptive emotions and behavior. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/adaptive-and-maladaptive-emotions-and-behavior

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Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

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Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

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Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

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Hollings, D. (2026, February 19). Personal growth. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-growth

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

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Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

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Hollings, D. (2025, January 18). Word iz bond. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/word-iz-bond

Lisa Marty. (2024, September 3). Lisa Marty| Le Bourge 1905 restaurant mix. Afro house; progressive house; organic house 4K HDR [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/vudGUxpfXT0?si=vjwVX1oWlA0vRfgJ

Soundcloud. (n.d.). Lisa Marty. Retrieved from https://soundcloud.com/user-971434412

Vernon, A. and Doyle, K. A. (2018). Cognitive behavior therapies: A guidebook for practitioners. American Counseling Association. Retrieved from http://ndl.ethernet.edu.et/bitstream/123456789/7719/1/872.pdf