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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

Feeling Better vs. Getting Better

 

I’m well-aware of what some people say regarding the objective of care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”). Conduct an internet search, tune in to a podcast, access social media, or listen to other sources and they often provide similar answers.

 

Apparently, the purpose of mental health care is to help people feel better. Perhaps you’ve heard this platitude. However, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what it means? What does it mean to feel better? Better, compared to what? Better, according to whom? What does better mean?

 

Better is defined simply as more advantages or effective. Okay, so what does it mean to feel versus get better? Have you ever stopped to contemplate this matter?

 

I maintain a Master of Arts in Counseling (2011) and a Master of Science in Social Work (2014), and in both of my graduate programs I learned of different approaches to mental health. Namely, there wasn’t a universal method by which all or even most people could or would feel better.

 

Likewise, having been trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), each of these psychotherapeutic modalities examines different theories related to feeling better.

 

Even centuries after Stoic philosophers promoted the concept of eudaimonia (a well-lived life) – aimed at helping people get better by tolerating and accepting how little control and influence they have in life – many individuals now turn to social media pseudo-philosophers for answers, irrespective of ancient wisdom.

 

Generally speaking, I hear of abstract concepts, unfalsifiable claims, and outright nonsense from such sources in regard to what feeling better means. As an example, one may suggest that pursuit of a hedonic lifestyle in which no desire is set aside will bring about improved mood.

 

While I have little doubt that getting high, practicing promiscuity, or engaging in other forms of escapism may temporarily make one feel better, I wonder if reinforcement of these fleeting passions actually helps people get better overall.

 

Thus, there’s a distinction to be made between feeling and getting better. Regarding this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled Get Better:

 

[R]esearch indicates that a cathartic effect is a novel feature of therapy that has little long-term value. Person X may temporarily feel joy or reprieve from unpleasant emotions; however, without specific tools designed to foster resilience, the individual may not actually get better overall.

 

Additionally, in a blog entry entitled Massaging to Get Better, I stated:

 

In psychotherapy, catharsis may be roughly defined as the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong emotions. In psychological literature, “psychologists have largely rejected the idea that catharsis is a ‘medicinal’ form of emotional venting because of the scant and often contradictory evidence.”

 

Although popular sources discuss abstract notions of feeling better, which are largely related to catharsis, it appears as though one’s improved mood isn’t as relevant as improving one’s overarching philosophy of life. This is one reason why REBT promotes rational living and not feeling better.

 

According to page 155 of The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion (“Pocket Companion”), getting better means dealing with present and future adversities by reacting with heathy feelings (emotions and bodily sensations) and functional behaviors. It’s the process of living well, not feeling well.

 

Additionally, page 156 of the Pocket Companion advocates reducing self-disturbance which is done through use of the ABC model and unconditional acceptance. With frequent practice of these techniques, one may actually get better.

 

While I’m aware that there are conflicting reports in regard to mental health care and overall wellness, I submit that merely feeling better isn’t as conducive to a well-lived life as the challenging process of getting better. Notice my mention of inherent challenge.

 

Getting better isn’t easy; it takes work. To my knowledge, there isn’t some quick fix to the complex system of life that is presented by a plastic influencer on TikTok who dances while pointing at pseudo-intellectual text, presumably with the promise of three easy steps to happiness.

 

Of course, those naïve enough to believe otherwise are welcome to momentarily achieve a cathartic effect. For everyone else – those who actually want to get better and not merely feel better, I look forward to conducting challenging work with you.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

References:

 

Bushman, B. J., Baumeister, R., and Stack, A. D. (1999, April). Catharsis, aggression, and persuasive influence: Self-fulfilling or self-defeating prophecies? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/13189135_Catharsis_Aggression_and_Persuasive_Influence_Self-Fulfilling_or_Self-Defeating_Prophecies

Dryden, W. and Neenan, M. (2003). The REBT Therapist’s Pocket Companion. Albert Ellis Institute. ISBN 0-917476-26-3. Library of Congress Control Number: 20031044378

Hollings, D. (2024, May 8). At what point is it just getting high? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/at-what-point-is-it-just-getting-high

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Blog – Categories: Tools. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/blog/categories/tools

Hollings, D. (2024, April 12). Boredom. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/boredom

Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, February 25). Doing the work. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/doing-the-work

Hollings, D. (2024, April 26). Eudaimonia. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/eudaimonia

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, December 26). Happiness is a trap. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/happiness-is-a-trap

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2024, February 5). Massaging to get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/massaging-to-get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, March 27). Plastic people. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/plastic-people

Hollings, D. (2023, March 20). Practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/practice

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, May 15). Rational living. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-living

Hollings, D. (2024, May 8). Resilience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/resilience

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2023, February 16). Tna. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tna

Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, October 22). Unfalsifiability. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unfalsifiability

Hollings, D. (2024, April 10). Welcome to complex systems. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/welcome-to-complex-systems

Khoo, G. S. and Adkins, B. (2020, September 9). Catharsis. The International Encyclopedia of Media Psychology. Retrieved from https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781119011071.iemp0179

Vecstock. (n.d.). Young adults enjoying a carefree summer party smiling and laughing generated by artificial intelligence [Image]. Freepik. Retrieved from https://www.freepik.com/free-ai-image/young-adults-enjoying-carefree-summer-party-smiling-laughing-generated-by-artificial-intelligence_126475981.htm#fromView=search&page=1&position=23&uuid=c2372f0f-ce79-45c3-b290-2175cfcc107f

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