When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) with clients, I find value is drawing a distinction between acknowledgement and acceptance. The former relates to recognition of something while the latter addresses endurance without protest or reaction.
For instance, consider the one indisputable truth of life: in its current form, it will inevitably end. You will die, I will die, and everyone we’ve ever known, currently know, or ever will know experiences death.
Merely recognizing this fact isn’t something about which I find many people self-disturb. Although there may be some adults who are unaware of the inevitability of death, I suspect most people acknowledge that they will one day die.
Nevertheless, arguably one of the major fears an individual will experience in life relates to death. Thus, a significant number of people unhelpfully refuse to endure without protest or reaction what they’ve already acknowledged.
Addressing this matter, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Simply acknowledging or admitting truth about death doesn’t necessarily alleviate suffering that stems from irrational beliefs about it. As such, unconditionally accepting or allowing that life in its current form will inevitably come to an end is a method of reducing self-disturbance.
As an example, suppose that while reading this short blogpost you say to yourself, “Obviously, I know I’ll die one day but I shouldn’t experience a painful death, because that would be awful!” These unproductive assumptions are what would cause your suffering in regard to death.
Suppose that instead of inflicting this sort of disturbance on yourself you instead told yourself something truthful. You adaptively acknowledge, “Each person is born. Each of us will die. The sooner I accept this, the better off I’ll be with the life I have left to live.”
While you’re welcome to consider other plausible beliefs, what effect do the presented assumptions have on you right this moment? What thoughts come to mind? What sensation do you feel in your body? What emotion can you identify? How does each assumption impact your behavior?
Mere acknowledgement isn’t always enough to address self-induced disturbance. Thus, I invite you to consider unconditional acceptance as a means of reducing suffering in the life you have left to live.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, September 22). You’re gonna die someday. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-re-gonna-die-someday
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