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What Will You Do When You Get Punched in the Face?

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 3 hours ago
  • 8 min read

 

By the time I attended United States Marine Corps Recruit Training (1996), I’d already been in a number of physical altercations. As my experience with fistfights began in elementary school, I had awareness of what it was like to get punched in the face.

 

For instance, as a resident of a children’s home in middle and high school, I’d engaged in mutual affrays with various boys. On one instance, a school bus driver pulled me off of a boy who sucker punched me. I didn’t start the fight, though I was determined to finish it!

 

Pinning my arms behind my head, the bus driver inadvertently allowed the other boy to pummel my face. The resulting black eye was something about which I was teased for the following week at school. The upshot of that event was that I knew how I’d react when punched in the face.

 

Fast-forward to Marine boot camp, when drill instructors deliberately matched larger recruits with smaller candidates, I was slated to go toe-to-toe with another recruit who was significantly taller and weighed more than I. I got hit so hard in the face that I couldn’t see straight!

 

Seriously, that recruit knocked me clear out of the ring! Still, I knew what I’d do when getting punched in the face. I’d simply attempt to keep fighting. Reflecting upon this matter, I’m reminded of a blogpost entitled Chaos That Ensues From Not Having a Plan, in which I stated:

 

In regard to having a plan, professional boxer Mike Tyson is credited with having stated, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Later expounding upon this assertion, Tyson stated, “Yo, dude, sometimes they punch you back in the face.”

 

No matter what plan I’ve ever had when entering a fight, I’ve learned not to rigidly cling to my strategy. After all, “sometimes they punch you back in the face.” Therefore, I’ve found a flexible approach to mutual combat is personally preferable if one cannot avoid confrontation.

 

This lesson served me well in the field of military police, as it wasn’t an uncommon experience to engage in violent apprehensions of Marines. They liked to fight! Now, I ask, what will you do when you get punched in the face? Sometimes, you can’t avoid all instances of conflict.

 

Occasionally, confrontation thrusts itself upon you! This is the case even when physical force isn’t at hand. When further contemplating this matter, I think about the psychotherapeutic modality I practice and a book that I’ve been steadily reading.

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

Whereas Stoicism is roughly the indifference to pleasure or pain, philosophy is a system of motivating beliefs, concepts, and principles. Using this approach to rational living, authors of The Daily Stoic quoted ancient Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated (page 161):

 

But what is philosophy? Doesn’t it simply mean preparing ourselves for what may come? Don’t you understand that really amounts to saying that if I would so prepare myself to endure, then let anything happen that will? Otherwise, it would be like the boxer exiting the ring because he took some punches.

 

Actually, you can leave the boxing ring without consequence, but what advantage would come from abandoning the pursuit of wisdom? So, what should each of us say to every trial we face? This is what I’ve trained for, for this my discipline!

 

I’ve never liked or loved getting punched in the face. Nonetheless, I know how I respond when having prepared for one outcome when an alternative and unpleasant result then occurs. Do you know how you respond? Concerning this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 161):

 

The Stoics loved to use boxing and wrestling metaphors the way we use baseball and football analogies today. This is probably because the sport of pankration—literally, “all strength,” but a purer form of mixed martial arts than one sees today—in the UFC was integral to boyhood and manhood in Greece and Rome. (In fact, recent analysis has found instances of “cauliflower ear,” a common grappling injury, on Greek statues.) The Stoics refer to fighting because it’s what they knew.

 

Whereas the Stoics referred to fighting, “because it’s what they knew,” I’ve referenced personal anecdotes herein, as it’s what I know. Still, I’m aware that some people may not identify with violent apprehensions, boxing, mixed martial arts, or other physical contact experiences.

 

Therefore, allow me to share a nonviolent form of metaphorical fighting to which you may relate. Have you ever had a verbal argument with someone to whom you were close? Have you ever engaged in a textual disagreement with a loved one?

 

When you get proverbially punched in the face with piercing words delivered by those closest to you, how do you respond? If you’re able to envision this form of axiomatic fighting, then I invite you to consider what authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 161):

 

Seneca writes that unbruised prosperity is weak and easy to defeat in the ring, but “a man who has been at constant feud with misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering.” This man, he says, fights all the way to the ground and never gives up.

 

I imagine you’ve developed allegorically calloused skin from continued exposure to suffering associated with conflict of physical, verbal, textual, and other forms. Of this, Seneca’s perspective regards resilience which the American Psychological Association thusly defines:

 

[T]he process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.

 

A number of factors contribute to how well people adapt to adversities, predominant among them (a) the ways in which individuals view and engage with the world, (b) the availability and quality of social resources, and (c) specific coping strategies.

 

Are you resilient in the face of suffering and at the hand of varied confrontational forms? Even if it isn’t pleasant to experience being figuratively punched in the face, do you at least know how you respond to adversity? Concluding this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 161):

 

That’s what Epictetus means too. What kind of boxer are you if you leave because you get hit? That’s the nature of the sport! Is that going to stop you from continuing?

 

The nature of the sport regarding the experience of life is arguably conflict, suffering, and other unpleasantry which is virtually inescapable. What will you do when you get punched in the face when in the ring of life? I’m stoically resilient in this regard. How about you?

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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References:

 

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