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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

May You Live Forever


Photo credit, property of Warner Bros. Pictures, fair use

 

In the film 300 (2006), there’s a scene in which Spartan king Leonidas is betrayed by fellow Sparta-born Ephialtes of Trachis and the monarch states to the double-crosser, “May you life forever.” Expanding upon the phrase, one source states:

 

A good death was all these men craved. It was the destination in Elysian Fields with other warriors that drove the Spartans to do what they did. By living forever, he cursed him to never have glory, never be in the company of heroes and never be written about like the heroes of history. It was one of the heaviest insults and curses you could lay on a Spartan, whose glory and honor were everything.

 

When enlisting in the Marine Corps in 1996, I, too, desired a glorious death. The idea of wasting away into my 70s, 80s, or 90s – with deteriorating cognitive faculties and impoverished physiological functioning – wasn’t something that appealed to me. Still doesn’t.

 

Therefore, I appreciated the veiled insult issued by Leonidas. Given my personal moral and ethical code at that point in my life, a good death was one in which I died with purpose and meaning. In fact, I still maintain this perspective.

 

Merely existing as my mind and body reverts to a state of helplessness wasn’t an attractive option to me when I was younger and isn’t appealing at the present time. When reflecting upon the origin of this outlook, I find utility in examining the matter prudently.

 

Viewing my belief about death through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I recognize the existentialist frame upon which my logic and reason was predicated. To understand this outlook, consider the following syllogism:

 

Form –

If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.

 

Example –

Major premise: If I lived a long life, then I’d increase my experience with pain and suffering.

 

Minor premise: If I’d increase my experience with pain and suffering, then I couldn’t stand to prolong agony in such a way.

 

Conclusion: Therefore, if I lived a long life, then I couldn’t stand to prolong agony in such a way.

 

The premises and conclusion of my former belief were logical. However, my syllogistic belief wasn’t reasonable. Given that beliefs which are rational are said to comport with logic and reason, my belief about living a long life wasn’t rational. It was irrational.

 

Still, the major premise was relatively truthful. An individual who lives until 70-years-old will in most cases experience more suffering than someone who lives until the age of 17. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all cases.

 

For instance, a 17-year-old born and raised in a warzone will likely experience a longer duration and a higher frequency of agonizing beliefs associated with unpleasant events than a 17-year-old born in a relatively peaceful location. Nonetheless, and generally speaking, the major premise was relatively true.

 

The minor premise was where irrationality became apparent. In particular, maintaining that “I couldn’t stand to prolong agony” was representative of an irrational belief associated with low frustration tolerance (LFT). I’ll discuss more on irrational beliefs in a bit.

 

If LFT had a catchphrase it would be something along the lines of “I can’t stand it!” Essentially, I once convinced myself that I couldn’t stand to live until an age at which point I forgot the names of loved ones, defecated myself, or required assistance with activities of daily living.

 

When using an LFT narrative, a person convinces oneself that tolerance of a particular event is literally impossible. Although it may be unpleasant to experience suffering for 70-plus years of life, I argue that such an existence isn’t unbearable, intolerable, or impossible to withstand.

 

Thus, my historical LFT belief was irrational. Using a logical and reasonable approach to life, indicative of rational living, I’ve since adopted a high frustration tolerance (HFT) perspective concerning an existence in which pain and suffering are perceivably inherent.

 

If HFT had a slogan it would be something like “I can stand it” or “I got this.” Rather than unproductively using an LFT narrative about living virtually “forever,” I could rationally conclude that while it may be unpleasant to suffer, I could stand such an existence.

 

After all, how many people live well into their 70s, 80s, and 90s? Many. Even considering the fact that I’m currently 47-years-old, I’ve been able to tolerate a lot of displeasing events. Thus, I got this, even if I don’t like or love the fact that I’ve suffered in life.

 

Consequently, even though the thought of living until an elderly age doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest, I use HFT to reduce unnecessary suffering as I remain alive. In any case, it would seem as though Leonidas’s phrase to Ephialtes isn’t historically accurate, as one source claims:

 

This scene is wholly fabricated from Herodotus’s original telling of the battle of Thermopylae. There, Ephialtes is simply “a man from Malis” who shows Persian king Xerxes a way to reach the Spartans through the mountains, and never once converses with Leonidas (7.213-17).  But for me, the alteration of his role to directly contrast with Leonidas creates an effective illustration of the values the Spartan system cherished.

 

Irrespective of accuracy regarding the veiled curse, I appreciate the 300 quote. It adds depth to what some people express in regard to a vampire’s affliction. Concerning this ordeal, one source states:

 

If life is limitless, so is the pain. Illness, bullets, knives, a car crash, falling from a height, drowning, extreme heat and extreme cold, losing a friend or a family member, breakups, and betrayals can hurt you physically and emotionally. Whatever the case, even when you stay young, if you’re immortal, you are cursed to experience pain forever.

 

Here, there remains a distinction without a difference in regard to pain (physical, mental, or emotional distress or discomfort) and suffering (submitting to or enduring distress). Although this topic pertains to a matter of abstraction, must a limitless life involve unavoidable pain and suffering?

 

Within the current post, I’ve referenced suffering. I’ve suffered while alive and I imagine you have, too. Nevertheless, REBT offers people a method of reducing needless suffering. To better understand how this is possible, it may be useful to briefly describe how REBT works.

 

REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, LFT, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.

 

From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.

 

As an example, if someone punctures your side with a spear (Action), you may begin bleeding (Consequence). Still, if you unhelpfully Believe, “That shouldn’t happen to me,” then you’ll likely disturb yourself into an angry or sorrowful disposition (Consequence).

 

Thus, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. As such, I have no control and limited influence over whether or not a person will experience pain and suffering though I may be able to help reduce the B-C effects which exacerbate discomfort of this sort.

 

Furthermore, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.

 

Additionally, foundational components incorporated into REBT relate to Stoicism—a philosophical practice valuing four virtues (wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, and justice) as a means of achieving eudemonia—a life well-lived, as well as humanism—the process of healing oneself.

 

As well, REBT is influenced by existentialist principles—essentially positing that each of us will inevitably die and that we can search for purpose and meaning as a method of living a well-lived existence. Importantly, all of these techniques require frequent (and I mean daily) practice.

 

Therefore, use of REBT may help individuals reduce needless pain and suffering. Speaking abstractly and hyperbolically, this is true even if the curse of a vampire was evoked and a person was afflicted with living forever in an imperfect world.

 

Although I don’t desire to live forever, and while I don’t wish that curse upon you, I recognize that HFT would be a method of tolerating and accepting such an affliction. Abstraction aside, if you’d like to know more about how to reduce pain and suffering, I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

300 Wiki. (n.d.). Ephialtes [Image]. Retrieved from https://300.fandom.com/wiki/Ephialtes

Francese, C. (2018, February 24). Weighing Spartan sacrifice. Dickinson College. Retrieved from https://blogs.dickinson.edu/classicalstudies/2018/02/24/weighing-spartan-sacrifice/

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Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Herodotus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herodotus

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Leonidas I. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonidas_I

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