Do Good

[DISCLAIMER]

I recently spoke with client X who, when initially seeking care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), used self-disturbing forms of global evaluation (a complete appraisal of people, places, and things without considering other potential value).

For instance, client X maintained, “I’m a bad person, because my family wants little to do with me.” Rather than considering that client X’s immediate family members appear to adore this person, client X unhelpfully assessed personal worth based on extended family member views.

Similar globally-evaluated prescriptive beliefs were used by this individual in regard to other matters of life. Thus, I invited client X to contemplate scripts which are rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with strong feelings.

Here, “logic” is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, and “reason” is a statement offered in explanation or justification. For instance, a modus ponens syllogism uses the following logical form: If p, then q; p; therefore, q.

For example, client X believed, “If my extended family members want so little to do with me (p), then their perspective of me means that I’m a bad person (q). My extended family members want so little to do with me (p). Therefore, their perspective of me means that I’m a bad person (q).

This belief structure follows logical form. However, I assisted client X with disputing the unreasonable component of this overall irrational globally-evaluated belief. I asked, “How are you defining ‘bad’ in this context?” Client X replied, “I don’t know. Not good, I guess.”

I find it useful to assist people with defining the words they use which comprise beliefs. “Good” is defined as of a favorable character or tendency, of a high or desired quality, expressing praise or approval, free from injury, sickness, or disease, or that which can be used or relied on.

When presented with this definitional standard, client X used the “desired quality” element to substantiate one’s belief. “My family doesn’t desire to be in contact with me,” client X stated, “so that means I’m not good.” I responded, “And the members of your immediate family?”

Therein, client X was faced with a standard of irrationality. This individual wasn’t prepared to allege that one’s immediate family members were of poor judgment. Any attempt to declare “they just love me, because they’re family” would thus negate the extended family’s view.

Nevertheless, I invited client X to further consider that even if all members of one’s family reject a person, that individual still maintains worth for simply existing as a fallible human being. “What do you mean?” client X inquired.

“None of us are perfect, and none of us are good or bad,” I responded. Like so many other people within the West, client X has been conditioned to label people—rather than describing their behavior—as good, bad, right, wrong, and so forth and so on. This is an unhelpful practice.

Human beings are merely flawed individuals who, simply because they exist, retain dignity (the quality or state of being worthy of honor or respect). Given this framing of the matter, humans are capable of committing bad, unpleasant, secularly evil, and otherwise detestable actions.

Nonetheless, what we do isn’t who we are. Fallible human beings aren’t our behavior. Likewise, I encouraged client X to contemplate that even if imperfect family members reject us, their behavior doesn’t reflect who we are. Thus, we can do good; yet, we—as humans—aren’t good.

For the literary thinkers in the audience, “do good” in this context means performing virtuous acts (e.g., helping people understand mental health care), while “do well” relates to performing competently or being in good health or a desirable situation. I meant what I said, “do good.”

The takeaway here is that we aren’t our actions, as we’re merely flawed individuals. Client X was receptive to this psychoeducational lesson. Favorably, this individual’s mental health has improved since putting into practice teaching which is also reflected in a book I’ve been reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius stated, “Whatever anyone does or says, for my part I’m bound to the good. In the same way an emerald or gold or purple might always proclaim: ‘whatever anyone does or says, I must be what I am and show my true colors’” (page 204).

Being what one is, from the perspective of REBT, relates to a fallible human being. We can choose to be “bound to the good,” in that our actions may be aligned in a morally and ethically pleasing direction. Regarding this topic, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 204):

The Stoics believed that every person, animal, and thing has a purpose or a place in nature. Even in ancient Greek and Roman times, they vaguely understood that the world was composed of millions of tiny atoms.

It was this idea—this sense of an interconnected cosmos—that underpinned their sense that every person and every action was part of a larger system. Everyone had a job—a specific duty. Even people who did bad things—they were doing their job of being evil because evil is a part of life.

I realize that some people with whom I’ve spoken throughout the years reject the notion of evil functioning as “a part of life.” Yet, I argue that fallible humans are incapable of existing in a utopia (a place of ideal perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions).

Even religious scholars appear to maintain that one empirically must die in order to achieve a utopic experience (e.g., Heaven). Until one’s inescapable death inevitably results, at which point a utopic experience may or may not begin, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 204):

The most critical part of this system was the belief that you, the student who has sought out Stoicism, have the most important job: to be good! To be wise.

“To remain the person that philosophy wished to make us.” Do your job today. Whatever happens, whatever other people’s jobs happen to be, do yours. Be good.

If you’ve paid attention to what I’ve stated within the current blogpost, then you likely could’ve predicted my one caveat to what the authors stated. Do good, not “be good” is the behavior in which I invite you to engage. Even if you fail in this regard, you still retain dignity and worth!

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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