I once sat across from a prospective clinical supervisor, a male psychotherapist that subscribed to the tenets of psychoanalytic theory in his practice, for an initial meeting to determine whether or not each of us was a proper fit for the process of supervision regarding clinical licensure.
Leaning forward on the front edge of the chair upon which he sat, the supervisor said something to the effect of, “Everything works and nothing works” when it came to mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively, “mental health”) care. I was confused by his assertion.
The supervisor continued by inviting me to consider his many years of clinical experience, which included the supervision of many counselors and social workers, and to contemplate his next words carefully. He said something like, “Maybe I’m the bad therapist.”
Dramatically, he waited for my reaction. Although I hadn’t received official training for the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) at that point, I’d studied the psychotherapeutic modality for years prior to the meeting with a prospective supervisor.
Contemplating the technique of unconditional other-acceptance, I thought something along the lines of, “Okay, I’m a fallible human being and so is this guy.” Undisturbed by my belief about his admission, I merely nodded in agreement and acceptance.
However, I quickly realized that perhaps he thought I was missing the intended lesson. The supervisor then leaned closer, as I wondered how it was that he wasn’t performing a paused-motion squat by that point, because it appeared as though he was no longer sitting in a chair.
“Do you understand what I’m telling you?” he queried, to the best of my recollection, and continued, “Many therapists have come and gone, thinking they’re good at what they do, and thinking that they’re good therapists. When I reflect upon my years of experience, I wonder, ‘Maybe I’m the bad therapist.”
“Right,” I thought, thinking deeper about the supervisor’s use of words. In my mind, I reasoned, “He made a distinction between ‘good therapists’ and ‘the bad therapist.’ Is he implying that there may be many good or bad therapists, or that there’s a singular bad therapist – and he’s it?”
I may’ve taken too long to respond, because his fixated gaze then shifted to a facial response that displayed skepticism. I then asked something like, “Are you saying that you’re the bad therapist, as in there’s only one and you happen to be it?”
At that, the supervisor repositioned himself in the chair. He then explained his belief in the importance of self-challenge. My prospective supervisor also suggested belief in the concept of ego death (sometimes referred to as “psychic death” or “ego-loss”).
In essence, he was inviting me to consider that although I may believe in my competent performance as a psychotherapist, it very well may be the case that I’m the bad therapist. This distinction is different than expressing that I’m a bad therapist.
If an individual underperforms as a psychotherapist, the person may rationalize the matter by concluding, “Oh well, there are hundreds of thousands of therapists in the United States, and I am but one of those who is bad at what I do.”
However, considering that a person is the bad therapist – perhaps the only mental health practitioner a client has ever seen or will ever see – the calculus changes quite a bit. If I’m the bad therapist, I’ll be the representative of my field about whom stories are told, articles are written, and videos on social media are posted.
Worse yet, if I’m the bad therapist, I’ll be the lasting memory a former client may retain about how unattainable improved functioning and quality of life actually is. Even still, if I’m the bad therapist, I may play a role in one’s self-disturbed decision to commit suicide.
Maybe I’m the bad therapist.
If such is the case, I unconditionally accept myself as the fallible human I’ve always been and will always be. Given this default position, I approach the practice of REBT without a rigid objective for the treatment and management of symptoms with which clients present.
In this same way, I unconditionally accept life for the imperfect and mysterious experience it is. Perhaps there are former clients of mine who recall that the bad therapist with whom they sought help was unable to assist them with getting better. This is a valid possibility.
Even still, I strive to improve the manner in which I engage mental health, mental illness, and psychological disorders. This, I do in a flawed manner. If you can unconditionally accept that you’re a fallible person in search of a flawed therapist, I’m here to imperfectly assist.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Andrews JP. (2023, September 26). A man sitting on a chair [Image]. Playground. Retrieved from https://playground.com/post/cln0yve9a08sis601ozaigq42
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2022, November 4). Human fallibility. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/human-fallibility
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2024, January 13). Prevention, diagnosis, and treatment. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/prevention-diagnosis-and-treatment
Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities
Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2024, March 4). Rationalization. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rationalization
Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2022, August 8). Was Freud right? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/was-freud-right
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ego death. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_death
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