The Listening

[DISCLAIMER]

This blogpost is a written form of self-talk. If you’re uninterested in knowing the inner workings of my mind, then you may want to bypass this one. Besides, I understand that not everyone would want to listen to my thoughts if given an opportunity to do so.

Thus, reading my words may produce an internal voice that you don’t want to hear. Also, instead of elaborating on various Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) concepts, this post is written with some understanding of the psychotherapeutic modality already having been attained.

Moments ago, I posted a blog entry entitled I Felt Worthless. Rather than a self-referential post, I devoted meticulous effort to defining terms and summarizing concepts regarding the process of self-disturbance—the experience of self-upset through use of unhelpful beliefs.

Existing as the fallible human being that I so inarguably am, and have always been while understanding that I will remain in this state until I die, I experienced unfavorable automatic thoughts and beliefs as I finished writing the post. Fortunately, I didn’t upset myself though.

When finalizing the blog entry, lines from one of my favorite hip hop duos popped into my mind. On their 2003 album The Listening, produced by the groundbreaking process of 9th Wonder, duo Little Brother released the track “The Listening.”

The song explores lamentation regarding efforts put forward by the hip hop pair, as the audience is said not to have paid attention to the lyrics offered by members Phonte and Big Pooh. (Without a doubt, Little Brother, I was listening.)

For instance, in the first verse, one of the lyricists states that “don’t nobody care what you’re sayin’.” This is what manifested in my mind as I began to proofread I Felt Worthless. Then, a line from the chorus popped into my head, “It don’t matter, ‘cause niggas ain’t listening.”

I could offer conjecture about what the “average” person may do when that belief serves as a presumed fact representing truth. For context, I’ve spoken with enough people since beginning the informal practice of life coaching in 1991, and practicing psychotherapy since 2011, to guess.

“People are worthless for not listening to what I have to say,” one may unreasonably conclude when using an inferred absolutistic should belief along with a global evaluation. After all, people absolutely should listen to me, or else they have zero worth, right?

Another possibility, “I’m worthless, if people don’t listen to what I have to say,” one could unhelpfully conclude when switching from other-downing to self-downing. In the end, my value as a human being is entirely predicated upon whether or not people read what I write, correct?

Still, one could unproductively maintain, “Life is worthless, if people fail to listen to what I say.” With this form of life-downing, I would be well within my ability as a flawed person to determine that life in general is devoid of worth if people don’t listen to me, no?

Of course, these assumptions are irrational—that which isn’t in accordance with both logic and reason. I’m not entitled to receptive eyes or ears (period) Moreover, I’ve been informed by enough people that I’m not a particularly gifted writer to where I believe this fact to be true.

So why in the world would I believe that: (1) I’m entitled to the attention of others or (2) people would value what I had to say even if they took time to listen to me in the form of reading a blogpost? Irrationality of this sort doesn’t serve me well. (Never has!)

Still, my wacky beliefs continue. “Fine, the worth of myself, others, and life isn’t founded upon the attention by others,” I reason, “though I have a message worth hearing, so people really should listen to what I have to say if they want to find out how not to disturb themselves.”

Of this, I’m reminded that in the second verse of “The Listening,” one of the lyricists states about people who consume music for entertainment, though not for lyrical value, “But nowadays, it’s like niggas wanna play with it. They hear some good shit but don’t stop to savor it.”

“At least Little Brother received some degree of attention,” my mind unnecessarily concludes. To this unhelpful belief, the elegant solution is warranted. Suppose it’s true – because it’s a factually correct observation – that the majority of my blogposts receive no attention whatsoever.

So what? I’ve already highlighted that: (1) I’m not entitled to the attention of other people and (2) my worth isn’t predicated on readership. So what if people continue not reading – or as Little Brother states, “niggas ain’t listening”? So, the fuck, what!?

In actuality, nothing in my life changes, not in any meaningful way that is. I’ll continue having thoughts about how I may try to help improve the lives of people. This has been the case since childhood when I began life coaching while in a children’s home.

However, without actually writing my thoughts, individuals wouldn’t at least have an opportunity to stumble upon my attempt to help. After all, people aren’t mind readers any more than I. Therefore, posting blog entries – even when they are mostly unseen – is meaningful to me.

As I know, I don’t have to work. Because of fortunate circumstances, and as long as I live within my means, I can forego the care of mental, emotional, and behavioral health regarding other people. If I so chose, I could simply improve my own life and not write a damn thing. So?

I choose to (at minimal) try to help other people. This is true irrespective of whether or not they’re listening. Therefore, cut the shit and keep doing what you’ve done. Post poorly written blog entries. In this way, at your moment of death you will know that you at least tried to help others.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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Little Brother – Topic. (2018, April 26). The Listening [Image and Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/cZ3XLtu2-ws?si=gJzsnbpiW9Ufvt7-

Wikipedia. (n.d.). 9th Wonder. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9th_Wonder

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Phonte. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phonte

Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Listening (Little Brother album). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Listening_(Little_Brother_album)