If You Keep Playin' Games

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

Before illustrating a demandingness derivative, it may be helpful to add that sometimes mental scripts are accompanied by inferences (the act of passing from one proposition, statement, or judgment considered as true to another whose truth is believed to follow from that of the former).

Notably, the ABC model notes how distorted inferences (misleading conclusions based on illogical and unreasonable beliefs) cause disturbance (i.e., stemming from irrational beliefs) and distress (i.e., stemming from rational beliefs). Now, I submit an example for your review.

A number of years ago, I was discussing new school hip hop artists with a friend’s daughter who was a fan of drill music. When I asked if she liked JayDaYoungan, my friend’s daughter was unfamiliar with the relatively young Louisiana rapper.

“When did he die?” she asked me. “What’re you talking about?” I responded, “I just copped his latest album.” She replied, “I’m looking at his video and the YouTube comment section is filled with dove emojis.” It was then I learned that people used the dove to express “rest in peace.”

I was flexibly disappointed by my beliefs about the rapper’s death, as I enjoyed working out to his album Misunderstood (2019). Regarding his demise, one source states:

On July 27, 2022, Scott and his father, Kenyatta Scott, were sitting on the front lawn of their home in Bogalusa, Louisiana when three gunmen got out from a black truck located near their home. Scott and his father tried running inside the home, but two additional gunmen came from the side of the house and opened fire.

Kenyatta shot back with his own firearm in self-defense. Scott was shot at least eight times and died at a local hospital in Bogalusa. Kenyatta was shot twice in the arm and was in stable condition. As of 2025, no suspects were arrested and Scott’s murder remains unsolved.

When reflecting upon the track “Shooters” from Misunderstood, I consider a distorted inference used by JayDaYoungan. For context, the sampled lyrics state:

You throwin’ up signs, and I caught that shit

Ain’t livin’ like that, you ain’t ‘bout that shit

These niggas be pussies, just talkin’ that shit

That’s a quick way to get shot in this shit

I be hangin’ with killers, and robbers, and shit

Throw opper shit down with them Glocks, lil’ bitch

Can’t get me too close, I’m on top of that shit

If you keep playin’ games, I’m gon’ drop me a bitch

I hope they ready, blood in my eye, the shit get scary

Pull up in a Chevy, Draco AR, no MAC-11

Bitch, why you testin’? Now, I gotta send you to Hell or Heaven

My shottas reckless. Who bust his shit? It ain’t no tellin’

If you’ve paid attention to this post, then you’ve likely spotted the demandingness derivative “gotta.” When JayDaYoungan said, “I gotta send you to Hell or Heaven,” it’s as though he stated that he absolutely must send a person to Hell or Heaven. That was a rather easy term to spot.

As for a distorted inference, the rapper said “If you keep playin’ games, I’m gon’ drop me a bitch.” In this context, “playin’ games” relates to behaving in a displeasing manner. For instance, people who “just talkin’ that shit” are rigidly believed to be “playin’ games” with the rapper.

Thus, the unproductive inference used by JayDaYoungan is ostensibly that if you keep behaving in a displeasing manner, then the rapper absolutely must “drop” (kill) you. That’s a fairly straightforward use of inflexibility.

Unfavorably, it appears as though JayDaYoungan lived and died by his rigid absolute beliefs. The important takeaway is that although you may utilize inflexible beliefs, others also remain capable of self-disturbing in a similarly rigid manner.

In extreme cases, the consequence of five self-disturbed shottas having murdered you will result in people posting doves in your comment section. If you keep plain’ games with others, then they’ll probably play games in return. Unfortunately, JayDaYoungan realized that in an instant.

I don’t say this in gest or to be insensitive, as I enjoy his music for my physical training sessions. With hope, you can learn an invaluable lesson from his demise. Unless we’re discussing the fun kind, then maybe it’s wise not to play games with people or use unhelpful beliefs. [dove emoji]

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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