I couldn’t say with any degree of certainty, though I’d be willing to hazard a guess that you and I were raised under different circumstances. From childhood, I was taught that death was an inescapable reality. While other children learned about Santa Claus, I was told that I would die.
No matter how creative people are at attempts to deceive themselves, using phrases such as “passing away” or expressing allusion to going gently into a good night, I won’t dress truth up to help you feel better (whatever that means). You’re gonna die someday.
In fact, everyone you’ve ever known, currently know, and every will know will die. This includes men, women, and children. Also, people you despise aren’t the only individuals who will die, because those people you love most in life will meet the same fate. They, too, will die.
Because my parents didn’t lie to me in a similar fashion as other children’s caregivers did, presumably as a means of preserving their “innocence” or prolonging childhood (however that supposedly works), I don’t have the same fear of death so many others claim to have. I’m ready!
Why wouldn’t I be? I know that death becomes each and every one of us. So why agonize with unhelpful beliefs about the inevitable? I’m waiting to die. As well, whether or not you like or love the matter, you’re waiting to die.
Although we can’t hear the tick-tock of a proverbial death clock, time’s a tickin’! How will you behave when your hour is upon you? Will you go kicking and screaming, shaking your fist at the sky, and cursing whatever deity you think cares about your protest? If so, you’re still gonna die.
And on that note, do you think you’ll live to be 80-, 90-, or 100-years-old? In what world is that a guarantee? Remember, even children die. (Yes, this includes your children.) There is no expiration date stamped on you. As well, there’s no guarantee of a “long and fruitful life.”
Likewise, there isn’t a “gone before his time” of “she was taken too soon” truth in regard to life. No such thing at all! We’re all waiting to die, like it or not. This is the invaluable lesson I learned when I still enjoyed Saturday morning cartoons and played with toys. This is the fact of life.
It inevitably ends!
What prompted this relatively brief post (kind of like how your life is relatively short) was that I just finished listening to an episode of Lex Fridman’s podcast in which he interviewed Donald Trump. Before I share my opinion about something I heard, allow me to issue a short disclaimer.
I’m not pro-Donald Trump or pro-Kamala Harris. I won’t vote for either of these presidential candidates, because I don’t vote. Besides, irrationally believing you can vote your way out of oppression that you didn’t vote yourself into is as ludicrous as believing you won’t die.
In any case, Trump said something to Fridman during the podcast that I appreciated. He stated, “Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die, so you might as well do a good job.” Quibble with the notion of whether or not you think Trump has lived up to his rhetoric, if you like.
You can even disagree over the idea about what constitutes good or bad in this life time. Nevertheless, life essentially is what is done while waiting to die. Unless you’ve deluded yourself into believing you’re the one person who won’t die, can you grant that major premise?
The recommendatory should inference outlined by Trump (“you might as well do a good job”) serves as the minor premise. One can merely reject the recommendation if one choses. Still, I find utility in placing both of these premises into syllogistic form:
Form (modus ponens) –
If p, then q; p; therefore, q.
Example –
If life is what you do while you’re waiting to die, then you might as well do a good job.
Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die.
Therefore, you might as well do a good job.
I find value in this logical and reasonable proposal. Importantly, I don’t unhelpfully demand that others accept these premises or awfulize about what may happen if individuals disagree.
Furthermore, I don’t deceive myself into believing that I can’t stand that others may reject Trumps proposal or globally rate the worth of people regarding this matter. To do otherwise would make as much sense as pretending as though I’m not gonna die someday.
Therefore, I find value in applying Trump’s proposal to my own life. After all, this is the only realm over which I have any meaningful control. Aside from suicide, I have little control over when I’ll die. Yet, I can control how I choose to carry out my existence.
So while I’m waiting to die, I want to try to do as well as I can by helping others get better and not necessary feel better (whatever that means). Am I doing a “good job” so far? I don’t know.
If my standard is to try and do as well as I can, and to do so imperfectly, then yes. I suppose I’m accomplishing my goal. Whether or not the people I’ve tried to help since beginning life coaching in the ‘90s would agree is another matter altogether.
Likewise, the individuals I’ve tried to assist since practicing psychotherapy in 2011 may think I’ve done a good or a bad job. Considering this matter further, I’ll modify Trump’s narrative to suit my own life.
Life is what you do while you’re waiting to die, so you might as well try to do a good enough job.
Now those are words by which I can live. Better yet, those are words with which I can die at peace. If you, too, would like to know how to live well so that you may die well, I’m here to help…at least for a relatively short period of time. Because, I’m waiting to die and don’t know what that will be.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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