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Carrot and Stick

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • Mar 3
  • 6 min read

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Photo credit (edited), photo credit (edited), photo credit (edited), fair use

 

As a child, I learned a metaphorical lesson about desire (i.e., to long, hope for, or want something) and demand (i.e., something claimed as due or owed) by use of a carrot and stick, as these two elements were often depicted as being interconnected. According to one source:

 

The phrase “carrot and stick” is a metaphor for when two different methods of incentivisation are simultaneously employed; the “carrot”, referring to the promising and giving of desired rewards in exchange for cooperation; and the “stick”, referring to the threat of undesired consequences in response to noncompliance or to compel compliance.

 

In politics, the terms are respectively analogous to the concepts of soft and hard power. A political example of a carrot may be the promise of foreign aid or military support, while the stick may be the threat of military action or imposition of economic sanctions.

 

When interpreting this metaphorical lesson though the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I envision the ABC model which illustrates that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe some unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption and not the occurrence itself that causes an unpleasant Consequence.

 

Rather than erroneously presuming that an Action-Consequence (A-C) connection causes self-disturbance (i.e., the manner in which you upset yourself), the ABC model demonstrates that unnecessary suffering stems from a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection.

 

In a blogpost entitled Desire and Disturbance, I stated about this matter:

 

I think the elements which differentiate the experience of wanting something and suffering associated with desire are—in the most literal sense—all within our minds. The (A)ction of a desire isn’t the problem.

 

Rather, attachment to a (B)elief is how we disturb ourselves into (C)onsequences of unhelpful emotions, unpleasant bodily sensations, and maladaptive behaviors. It’s as simple as A-B-C.

 

Rather than remaining self-disturbed, you can try Disputation which may lead to an Effective new belief that’s used in place of an unproductive self-narrative. With the ABC model, you learn to stop needless suffering which is caused by unhelpful assumptions.

 

In a blogpost entitled Demandingness, I stated about this matter:

 

When you realize that an (A)ction doesn’t lead to the (C)onsequences you experience—though it is the (B)eliefs you use that cause you to become disturbed—you can free yourself from the bondage of demandingness by disputing irrationality.

 

The metaphorical lesson of a carrot and a stick may be filtered through the ABC model to illustrate how a B-C connection, and not an A-C connection, results in unpleasant outcomes. For this example, suppose that you’re trying to incentivize your teenage child to do something.

 

At first, you attempt the promising and giving of a carrot in the form of positive reinforcement after the teen takes your bait of enticing the child to clean one’s room for the opportunity to have whatever preferred dinner the adolescent wants that evening. Thus, y’all enjoyed hamburgers.

 

However, when attempting to use the same enticing strategy during the following week, your teenage child refuses to take the carrot. Because the carrot and stick are interconnected, you then use positive punishment by assigning extra chores when your desire isn’t met.

 

The dangling carrot wasn’t effective at motivating your adolescent child to complete a task. Therefore, the metaphorical rope that connected the carrot and stick was removed and you applied pressure using the stick. In some cases, children are literally beaten with such items.

 

However, following the non-aggression principle (NAP), you choose not to advocate violence in your parenting style. Still, being the contrarian child I imagine that your teenager is, then failure to clean a room results in active resistance to completing additional chores (Action).

 

You then unfavorably Believe, “My kid better obey me, because I’m the parent, and I can’t stand being disrespected!” With this unhelpful assumption, which uses demandingness at its core, you then violate your NAP parenting style by striking your child (Consequence).

 

Noteworthy, the Action of failing to follow instructions didn’t cause you to self-disturb (Consequence). There was no A-C connection that resulted in you evoking violence while violating your principle.

 

Rather, the unnecessary suffering of your B-C connection caused the unpleasant emotions and behavior you exhibited. In particular, you transitioned from a desire (preference) to a demand (requirement). Therefore, your teenage child didn’t upset you. You did that to yourself!

 

Herein, I’ve highlighted how a carrot and stick approach may be used appropriately (i.e., positive reinforcement and positive punishment in the form of added chores) and how it may be abused when a B-C connection is at play (i.e., positive punishment in the form of striking a child).

 

Given this understanding, how may you choose to use the carrot and stick in your own life? Will you take the helpful route? Or will you perhaps venture down the path of unhelpful self-disturbance? The choice is yours to make.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2024, October 27). Correlation does not imply causation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/correlation-does-not-imply-causation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

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