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Doing the Right Thing

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 4 hours ago
  • 6 min read

 

How often to you think about morals and ethics? A “moral” is a person’s standard of behavior or belief concerning what is and isn’t acceptable for the individual and other people. Morals thus relate to what’s considered good, bad, right, wrong, or otherwise acceptable or unacceptable.

 

An “ethic” is a set of moral principles, especially those relating to or affirming a specified group, field, or form of conduct. Whereas morals relate to what is thought of as pleasing or displeasing behaviors and beliefs, ethics – based on morals – are the social rules by which we pledge to live.

 

For context, a principle is a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption that serves as a rule or code of conduct with habitual devotion to this subjective morally and ethically right standard. Thus, principles are a form of values (something intrinsically desirable).

 

I spend quite a bit of time thinking and writing about morals and ethics. In fact, I provide psychoeducational lessons within my blog related to this very topic. As an example, I stated in a blogpost entitled BUSting Baseless Beliefs:

 

It was in either junior high or high school when a man—said to have been intoxicated behind the wheel of his dually pickup truck—slammed into a busload of children on our way to school. Striking the large yellow vehicle on the driver side, rear wheel well, the bus tipped over and rested on its side along a country road.

 

Though I recall the incident unfolding in slow-motion, I wasted no time with the evacuation process. I, along with several of the other boys from the children’s home at which I was a resident, carried many children off the bus and escorted them to safety.

 

Considered a leader in my all-boys cottage, I coordinated a staging point for other children to gather. As well, I sent one boy down the southern portion of a street, and another up the northern area, to contact emergency responders and notify our rural neighbors of the situation.

 

The bus driver was disoriented and I ensured him that me and the remaining boys could clear the wreckage without his assistance, as he stumbled over and sat underneath a tree with kids removed from the bus. Once the vehicle was fully vacated, sheriff’s deputies and paramedics arrived on scene.

 

Shortly thereafter, a media crew showed up and interviewed the brave law enforcement officers (LEOs)—said to have organized the safety efforts whereby all children escaped without serious injuries. In reality, I led the push to protect all personnel on the bus that morning.

 

For a period of time following the accident, I was angry about how LEOs took credit for something the San Jacinto Cottage (SJC) boys were responsible for having orchestrated.

 

Concerning the ignorance of my youth, I believed it was morally wrong for LEOs to have taken credit for actions which I orchestrated. Unfavorably, I self-disturbed with irrational beliefs about how when behaving in a desirable manner one’s actions absolutely must be praised.

 

Fortunately, I eventually was able to let go of my unhelpful beliefs and realize that doing the right thing—for the sake of merely performing in a subjectively appropriate manner—was a good enough principle. Now, I’m reminded of this healthy lesson as I read a book.

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

The authors quote ancient Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius who stated, “When you’ve done well and another has benefited by it, why like a fool do you look for a third thing on top—credit for the good deed or a favor in return?” (page 218).

 

I didn’t need accolades from the rural community in which I lived, nor did I need the appreciation of LEOs for having performed duties of a first responder. All of the children who were aided by the SJC boys were relatively safe, and that was a good enough outcome for us all.

 

Now, I invite you to consider this psychoeducational lesson. How may it apply to your life? Imagine doing a good deed without telling others about it. Are you capable of doing that? Or is it that you self-disturb with inflexible beliefs about how doing the right thing isn’t good enough?

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Choksey, J. (2020, July 1). What is a dually truck? J. D. Power. Retrieved from https://www.jdpower.com/cars/shopping-guides/what-is-a-dually-truck

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2025, January 16). A letting go kind of love. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/a-letting-go-kind-of-love

Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, November 15). Assumptions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/assumptions

Hollings, D. (2023, March 24). BUSting baseless beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/busting-baseless-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, October 21). Desire. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/desire

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, December 26). Good enough is good enough. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/good-enough-is-good-enough

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, January 26). Ignorance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/ignorance

Hollings, D. (2026, January 30). Imagine doing a good deed without telling others about it. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/imagine-doing-a-good-deed-without-telling-others-about-it

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, October 2). Morals and ethics. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-and-ethics

Hollings, D. (2025, April 9). Perception, action, and will. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/perception-action-and-will

Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Principles. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/principles

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, January 2). The distinction between law and justice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-distinction-between-law-and-justice

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, November 24). Values. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/values

Wikipedia. (n.d.). First responder. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_responder

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Marcus Aurelius. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Aurelius

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Time perception. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_perception

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