External Things Can't Fix Internal Issues

[DISCLAIMER]

As a child, my mom was quite poor. Raising three children with unstable employment of an unskilled worker, my mom moved to a different home on an almost annual basis. Most of my belongings were hand-me-downs and my mom often resorted to theft to provide for her kids.

Back then, I used to daydream about what it would be like to have money. I imagined that people who weren’t subject to impoverished conditions had little (if anything) that troubled them. Perhaps this delusional notion stemmed from television programs and films.

In any case, I wound up in a children’s home during my seventh grade year and the official narrative for my placement was financial instability within my home. From that setting, I was taken into the home of a family with whom I attended church services in my sophomore year.

The high school I then attended was comprised of students who stemmed from both “old money” and “new money.” Prior to enrollment in that setting, I didn’t know there was a difference in the status of wealthy people. I simply thought there were poor and rich individuals.

The distinction between old and new money rests in the origin of wealth, as old money generally relates to inherited wealth and while new money typically pertains to self-made wealth. At school, all I saw were the haves and the have-nots. I was a member of the latter in-group class.

I was surprised to learn that old money was associated with specific social circles which valued a focus on family history and legacy while new money was associated with visible displays of wealth and a focus on personal achievement. As far as I could tell, I didn’t fit in with either class.

Not long after graduating high school, I joined the Marine Corps. Eventually, I was accepted to the Marine Security Guard (MSG) program, now called the Marine Corps Embassy Security Group. While serving on the program, I was surrounded by old and new money diplomats.

Similar to my experience in high school, I had little in common with the people with whom I interacted. Still maintaining an immature frame of mind, I thought that extremal things (such as money) could fix internal issues (such as self-disturbed sorrow about having little money).

It took many years from childhood before I realized the error of my beliefs which were irrational (not in accordance with both logic and reason). Mainly, I discovered the flaws of my cognitive process when beginning practice of my preferred psychotherapeutic modality.

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, as this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

It was through Stoic consideration of the haves and have-nots, old money and new money, and my place in regard to various socioeconomic classes that I realized the error of my relatively youthful perception. For context, authors of The Daily Stoic quote Seneca who stated (page 37):

“Let’s pass over to the really rich—how often the occasions they look just like the poor! When they travel abroad they must restrict their baggage, and when haste is necessary, they dismiss their entourage. And those who are in the army, how few of their possessions they get to keep…”

When serving on the MSG program, I was granted diplomatic status with a special passport that allowed me access through airport terminals without having my baggage checked. Nevertheless, my elevated socioeconomic status still resulted in baggage size restrictions.

Likewise, when assigned to the MSG detachment in Lima, Peru, I qualified for hostile fire/imminent danger pay (extra money at a tax exempt status). Nonetheless, my compounding issues in life (when left unaddressed) still resulted in negative emotions regarding my beliefs.

Apparently, external things couldn’t fix internal issues. About this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 37):

The author F. Scott Fitzgerald, who often glamorized the lifestyles of the rich and famous in books like The Great Gatsby, opens one of his short stories with the now classic lines: “Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me.” A few years after this story was published, his friend Ernest Hemingway teased Fitzgerald by writing, “Yes, they have more money.”

The diplomats alongside whom I served in Lima bled when they were cut, breathed the same air as I, and defecated after their bodies digested food. We were more alike than not. Only, they had more money. Expanding upon this matter, authors of The Daily Stoic add (page 37):

That’s what Seneca is reminding us. As someone who was one of the richest men in Rome, he knew firsthand that money only marginally changes life. It doesn’t solve the problems that people without it seem to think it will. In fact, no material possession will. External things can’t fix internal issues.

I’ve heard it stated that money can’t buy happiness. Still, I imagine that it can make a decent down payment on satisfaction. All the same, people with money still have problems. About this, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 37):

We constantly forget this—and it causes us so much confusion and pain. As Hemingway would later write of Fitzgerald, “He thought [the rich] were a special glamorous race and when he found they weren’t it wrecked him as much as any other thing that wrecked him.” Without a change the same will be true for us.

Although I don’t have Elon Musk’s level of wealth, I suspect that even the current richest person in the world understands that external things can’t fix internal issues. Therefore, I invite you to consider this helpful psychoeducational lesson in regard to your own life.

Even if you’re as poor as my late mom was, if you focus on addressing your internal issues, then you may find relief from self-disturbance that even the wealthy people among us haven’t yet attained. Also, if you’d like to know more about REBT, then I look forward to hearing from you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2024, October 29). Cognitive continuum. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/cognitive-continuum

Hollings, D. (2024, January 7). Delusion. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/delusion

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2025, March 5). Five major characteristics of four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/five-major-characteristics-of-four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, September 24). Happy place. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/happy-place

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2024, August 21). In-group and out-group distinction. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/in-group-and-out-group-distinction

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, January 8). Logic and reason. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/logic-and-reason

Hollings, D. (2023, November 23). Problems. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/problems

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2025, January 15). Satisfaction. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/satisfaction

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). Unhealthy vs. healthy negative emotions. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unhealthy-vs-healthy-negative-emotions

Moskowitz, D. (2025, May 2). The 10 richest people in the world. Investopedia. Retrieved from https://www.investopedia.com/articles/investing/012715/5-richest-people-world.asp

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Elon Musk. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ernest Hemingway. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Hemingway

Wikipedia. (n.d.). F. Scott Fitzgerald. Retrieved from https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._Scott_Fitzgerald

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Seneca the Younger. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneca_the_Younger

Wikipedia. (n.d.). The Great Gatsby. Retrieved from https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Gatsby