Photo credit, photographer: Marcela Patino, fair use
My dear friend “Jammies,” a professional model and makeup artist, recently informed me about the death of model Masuimi Max. Though I was only vaguely familiar with the late model’s work, Jammies described her career as successfully influential to many people.
Apparently, an outpouring of gratitude and respect resulted from the model’s death. Because of this, my friend—who isn’t unfamiliar with existentialism—discussed with me how she would like to be remembered after Jammies inevitably passes away.
This isn’t a conversation I find that many people with whom I’ve had contact in the West are willing to entertain. As there tends to be so much avoidance and discomfort related to the topic of death and dying, I incorporate existentialist principles into my practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
For instance, I’ve negotiated homework with clients who’ve expressed fear of death. Ultimately, they’ve written their own eulogies and no longer experienced dread. Pushing through discomfort as a means of challenging low frustration tolerance, these individuals learned to unconditionally accept life which results in an inevitable death.
Although Jammies’ self-described eulogy isn’t something I’m willing to divulge herein, I was surprised to hear her suspicion of how I’d probably answer the question about my own remembrance. In fact, I was delighted with what she said.
When asked how I’d like to be remembered, and after I provided an answer, Jammies responded, “I imagined your response would be something like, ‘I have no attachment to what others think or don’t think of me.” This is a person who knows me well.
While I was only vaguely familiar with Masuimi Max’s work, I’m glad to know that the model’s presence in this lifetime positively impacted some people, like my friend Jammies. Although there’s no way for me to know whether or not the alternative model understood her influence on others, I like that after she passed Jammies thought about her own inevitable end.
Likewise, I’m pleased to know that my relationship with Jammies has allowed her to understand the importance of purpose and meaning—existentialist qualities—and that she understands my nonattached approach to self-disturbance. I can pass knowing that at least one person I’ve influenced has grasped this lesson.
How about you, dear reader? How would you like to be remembered? Do you live your life in such a manner that upon your death people will have benefited from your existence? Or will it even matter what attachment people have to the shadow of your life at that point?
If you find it difficult to contemplate the experience of death and dying, and would like to process your thoughts and beliefs regarding this matter, I’m here to help. After all, I’ve assisted a number of people with unconditionally accepting reality — you’re gonna die someday.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Daniel, D. (2024, January 25). Playboy, Maxim model Masuimi Max found dead at 45. New York Post. Retrieved from https://nypost.com/2024/01/25/entertainment/playboy-maxim-model-masuimi-max-found-dead-at-45/
Desired Looks Photography. (2014, March 29). Masuimi Max interview [Image]. Retrieved from https://www.desiredlooks.com/blog/2014/3/29/masuimi-max-interview
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance
Hollings, D. (2022, June 23). Meaningful purpose. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/meaningful-purpose
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance
Hollings, D. (2022, May 28). Stoically existential. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoically-existential
Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, September 22). You’re gonna die someday. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-re-gonna-die-someday
Patino, M. (n.d.). Marcela Patino fashion photographer [Official website]. Marcela Photo. Retrieved from https://marcelaphoto.com/