REBT
Since 2011, I’ve practiced Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) after learning about this psychotherapeutic modality in graduate school. Given my approach to the model, I have a number of objectives when working with clients:
· I seek to help people push through discomfort so that they may grow.
· Rather than helping clients feel better, I aim to help them get better.
· I invite people to use purpose and meaning in order to tolerate and accept how little control and influence they have in life.
· I try to help people achieve a higher level of functioning and improved quality of life.
· I advocate rational living, which is a type of existence in accordance with logic and reason.
In order to achieve these aims, I take an active-directive approach to psychotherapy. A form of cognitive behavior therapy developed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis, REBT uses a number of techniques to facilitate personal change.
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance (LFT), and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, if someone punches you in the nose (Action), you may experience a nosebleed (Consequence). Still, if you unhelpfully Believe, “That shouldn’t have happened to me,” then you’ll likely disturb yourself into an angry disposition (Consequence).
Thus, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. If there were a mathematical formula for the ABC model, it would be something like: Action + Belief = Consequence ÷ Disputation = Effective new belief.
Furthermore, this helpful psychotherapeutic modality uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Additionally, foundational components incorporated into REBT relate to Stoicism—a philosophical practice valuing four virtues (wisdom, courage, temperance or moderation, and justice) as a means of achieving eudemonia—a life well-lived, as well as humanism—the process of healing oneself.
As well, REBT is influenced by existentialist principles—essentially positing that each of us will inevitably die and that we can search for purpose and meaning as a method of living a well-lived existence. Importantly, all of these techniques require frequent (and I mean daily) practice.
When using REBT, I encourage clients to assume personal responsibility and accountability for how they react to events. Even though you may have a legal right not to be punched in the nose, people often physically assault one another.
Therefore, despite the fact that you may be victimized, you don’t have to adopt a victimhood narrative (e.g., it’s awful to be punched in the nose and I can’t stand that life is so unfair). Thus, I work with people so that they may increase their level of high frustration tolerance (HFT).
In simplest terms, tolerance is defined as the capacity to endure pain or hardship. From an REBT perspective, LFT is associated with poor tolerance while HFT reflects improved tolerance. As such, HFT represents resilience—an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
When meeting the main objectives of REBT, an individual can achieve personal growth—the process of decreasing one’s own level of self-disturbance. Importantly, this form of growth can occur even when other people stubbornly disturb themselves about one’s past behavior.
Ellis’ personal growth
Understanding history requires context of a particular timeframe in which social norms weren’t necessarily in alignment with standard practiced in modernity. For instance, one source reports of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM):
· DSM-I (1952) – Homosexuality is listed as a sociopathic personality disturbance.
· DSM-II (1968) – Homosexuality continues to be listed as a mental disorder
· DSM-II (1974) – Homosexuality is no longer listed as a category of disorder. The diagnosis is replaced with the category of “sexual orientation disturbance”.
· DSM-III (1980) – The diagnosis of ego-dystonic homosexuality replaces the DSM-II category of “sexual orientation disturbance.” Introduces gender identity disorder.
· DSM-III-R (1987) – Ego-dystonic homosexuality is removed and replaced by “sexual disorder not otherwise specified,” which can include “persistent and marked distress about one’s sexual orientation.”
· DSM-V – Includes separate, non-mental disorder diagnoses of gender dysphoria to describe people who experience significant distress with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth.
During a time when the DSM-I maintained that homosexuality was a mental disorder, in 1955, Ellis was featured in an article entitled “Albert Ellis, Ph.D. on the cure of homosexuality.” In part, Ellis stated:
It is my contention, on the basis of my experience as a clinical psychologist and a psychoanalytically oriented psychotherapist, that homosexuality is definitely curable in many—though hardly all—cases; and I hold, in fact, that the cure of inversion is by no means as difficult as many psychologists and psychoanalysts have made it out to be.
By modern standards, many people may consider Ellis’ proposal as repugnant. In the interest of self-disturbance reduction, I suspect one can encounter differing perspectives – even those considered egregiously distasteful – and practice tolerance associated with HFT.
Suppose you emphatically disagree with Ellis. Are you able – or even willing – to sit with discomfort stemming from your beliefs about his perspective on lesbian, gay, and bisexual practices while tolerating that others don’t maintain the same beliefs as you?
It’s worth noting that Ellis made a rational case for his worldview, even if you disagree with his viewpoint. For instance, consider what Ellis stated in a 1965 book entitled The Art and Science of Love:
[H]omosexual activity in itself is not abnormal or deviated, since its roots are well established in man’s biological plurisexual heritage. But when an individual’s homosexual acts become fixated, fear-impelled, or obsessive-compulsive then, we must again insist, they are just as deviant as would be his frantically or compulsively eating, running, or making noises—all of which are also part of our mammalian heritage.
Here, Ellis made a logical and reasonable case for “homosexual activity” as “not abnormal or deviated,” though added that fixation, emotion, and compulsion may influence one’s behavior much as what occurs with eating, exercising, or tics. This isn’t the same as morally arbitration whereby Ellis commands how people must or mustn’t behave.
Keeping in context the time during which Ellis made many of his declarations is the key to reducing self-disturbance. With the evidence he had available at the time, Ellis drew specific conclusions. This is true regarding how in 1968, Ellis stated in an article:
It is my contention that a fixed or exclusive homosexual in our contemporary society is wrong—meaning, inefficient, self-defeating, and emotionally disturbed—but that he has an inalienable right, as a human being, to be wrong, and should never be persecuted or punished for his errors.
From 1955 to 1968, Ellis transitioned from trying to “cure” homosexuality to advocating the experience as an “inalienable right,” even though he considered a non-straight orientation or preference as “wrong.” This speaks to the essence of tolerance.
Although Ellis maintained that lesbian, gay, or bisexual lifestyles were wrong, he wasn’t dictating to the world about how people should or shouldn’t have behaved. Tolerance of this sort is the capacity to endure or withstand that which a person considers morally inappropriate.
Back when REBT was called “Rational Emotive Therapy,” Ellis drew upon information available at the time. Still, as REBT theory was transformed and driven by the process of science, Ellis modified his hypothesis with the addition of relevant evidence.
In his 2001 book Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors, Ellis stated:
In regard to being gay, people have pushed and pushed for the acceptance of gayness, just like the women’s libbers have for women’s equality. But then a couple of our states passed a law against it. So in general that kind of damnation may have lessened. But damning people, for example, for crime and for addiction, may be as bad or worse than ever.
Ellis apparently realized over the course of almost half a century that tolerance was an un-disturbed method of rational living. Thus, as illustrated by excerpts from his writing herein, Ellis walked the walk of UA and didn’t merely talk the talk of his psychotherapeutic model, as he exhibited personal growth.
My personal growth
A member of the Generation X cohort who was born and (predominately) raised in Amarillo, Texas, I was taught ideology that is now considered homophobic—having or showing a strong dislike of or prejudice against people who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
Such ideals were supported by both of my biological parents and were generally founded upon religiosity. As an example, my mom used to voice her concerns about me becoming “queer” or a “fag,” partially because my dad didn’t live with us and I got along more with females than males.
Additionally, my dad told me that if I ever revealed to him non-straight tendencies, he’d disown me. In relatively short time from that advisement, the threat transitioned into murder. “Boy, if you ever come to me and tell me you’re a peter-puffer, I’ll kill you,” he stated.
Moreover, exposure to hip hop and dancehall reggae subcultures influenced my worldview. By the time I was in high school, “gay-bashing” behavior wasn’t uncommon for a number of teens with whom I attended school.
I never partook in such acts, whereby adolescents and adults would physically assault gay men outside of a well-known gay bar in Amarillo, though I didn’t condemn the actions of those who claimed to have committed the crime. Imagine being beaten for your sexual orientation or preference.
Also, I was made familiar with the term “fuck boy,” as this insult was said to have derived from incarcerated subculture wherein males (boys and men) who received anal penetration – whether voluntary or not – were labeled with this pejorative phrase. Oddly, people now use it with an entirely different meaning.
As well, a close friend and I frequently used the term “fagged out” or “gay” when describing undesirable elements of life (e.g., that t-shirt is fagged out, because it’s too small). By the time I became an adult and joined the Marines, I took the “fagged out” phrase with me on my travels.
Noteworthy, United States military policy from February 28, 1994 to September 20, 2011 was “don’t ask, don’t tell” – spanning the entirety of my service (1996-2007). This policy barred openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual persons from military service.
When stationed in Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, a friend and I made fun of “boiolas,” homosexual males. Frequently, we held up the letter ‘F’ on our hands to represent our disdain with men we believed were “fagged out”:
After the military, I continued expressing my prejudice when in the field of nuclear security. Another friend and I would commonly greet each other by saying, “What’s up, fag?” Also, rarely was there an opportunity for us not to label one thing or another as “gay.”
It wasn’t until graduate school for counseling, between 2009 and 2011, that I challenged my lifelong ideology of non-straight prejudice. This experience was directly correlated with having learned of REBT and having begun the practice of UA.
You may wonder why I’d declare all of this after so many years and given that this current moment in time is Pride Month. Just as Ellis was a man of his time, I, too, maintained intolerant beliefs and exhibited inappropriate behavior in my past.
Similar to Ellis, once I considered other evidence, I shifted my views and altered by behavior accordingly. The ability or willingness to accept something, in particular the existence of opinions, beliefs, or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with is the essence of tolerance.
I’ve demonstrated personal growth in regard to behavior many people may consider objectionable. Just as I use UA concerning myself, others, and life, I suspect others can also practice tolerance and acceptance to keep from self-disturbing with beliefs about my fallible past.
Conclusion
With my approach to REBT, I push through discomfort as a means of growing so that I may get better. This is accomplished with purpose and meaning so that I may tolerate and accept how little control and influence I have in life.
Additionally, I’ve achieved a higher level of functioning and improved quality of life through use of REBT. This is done through continual practice of REBT and in the interest of rational living which is in accordance with logic and reason.
Herein, I’ve demonstrated how REBT is utilized to help people achieve similar results. Noteworthy, I’ve illustrated how this psychotherapeutic modality was used to effect change toward personal growth in Ellis’ life, as well as mine.
Talking the talk is one matter, though walking the walk of tolerance is another issue altogether. If you’re prepared to challenge your self-disturbing beliefs, alter your behavior, and start living rationally, as well, I’m here to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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