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  • Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

What I'm Here 4


Yesterday, I spoke with my close friend “Jammies” about her plan to undergo a significant life transition, moving from her career as a professional model to becoming a life coach. Having first become acquainted with her 15 years ago, when I was interested in photography, I met Jammies shortly after she began modeling.


At that time, I’d just begun a counseling graduate school program with a main campus located an hour away from my home. On drives to and from class, Jammies and I engaged in lengthy discussions about relationships, aspirations, and life matters in general.


Only two years after having discharged from the Marine Corps, I didn’t have a clear understanding about what purpose and meaning I desired from my relatively short time on this planet. In essence, I didn’t know what I was here 4 (for).


It was around that time that I first learned of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). As the years have passed, I’ve shared with Jammies what I’ve learned about this psychotherapeutic modality.


Likewise, I’ve fulfilled my self-ascribed purpose in this life (the provision of psychotherapy), from which I derive meaning (value). Since 2009, when I was introduced to Jammies, I’ve observed many of her transitional life stages.


During yesterday’s conversation, we both realized that on some capacity, Jammies has been life-coaching for a number of years. She’s helped people to attain a higher level of functioning and improved quality of life in a number of ways and now plans on transferring her skills to the wellness field.


Interestingly, Jammies expressed something to the effect of realizing that what she’s here 4 – what her purpose and meaning are in life – is to help others attain a pragmatic understanding about how to live more fully. She’s here to assist others with the process of fulfillment.


When thinking about this matter, I’m reminded of legendary hip hop duo Gang Starr – comprised of DJ Premier (“Preemo”) and the late Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal (“Guru”) who died at 48 years of age. In particular, I’m reminded of the track “What I’m Here 4,” featured on the classic 1998 album Moment of Truth.


The beat is a vintage Preemo boom bap style as Guru effortlessly flows over the rhythm. Although the lyrics aren’t particularly memorable to me, I think about the track from an existential perspective.


I’m currently 47-years-old, one year younger than Guru at the time of his death. Not having known the rapper, I’m unable to say whether or not Guru fully understood his propose in life.


He didn’t know that I first heard his music in 1993, as I received the album Guru’s Jazzmatazz, Vol. 1 when it was released. I went through quite a bit of hardship during that time.


In fact, life being comprised of positive, negative, and neutral elements, my first quarter century of life was mostly riddled with adversity. There’s also no way Guru could’ve known that when I experienced challenging times in Okinawa, Japan, Moment of Truth helped me cope.


Perhaps Guru didn’t intend on fulfilling the purpose of providing the world with music that allowed me to endure difficult times in my youth and adulthood. Nevertheless, his efforts were meaningful to me. Although not his sole purpose, what Guru was here 4 was to help me attain fulfilment.


Now, as my dear friend Jammies prepares to step into the role she’s here 4, I have an opportunity to tell her how impactful her presence has been in my life. As such, I have little doubt that Jammies will significantly improve the level of functioning and quality of life for other people.


When thinking of the future guidance she’ll provide to others, I imagine someone walking through the streets of New York City – the place where Guru died – and wandering aimlessly. As Preemo’s beat plays within my mind, I envision this weary individual hearing of Jammies’ coaching services while listening to her future podcast.


What I’ve learned since leaving my first graduate program in 2011 is that it doesn’t take much to change the course of an individual’s life. As long as a person can conceive of purpose, meaning isn’t far from this potentially life-altering element relating to fulfillment.


Dear reader, are you currently wandering through life without purpose and meaning? As long as you’re still alive, there’s time to assign the reason for your existence and derive quality from that aim. Now, I’ve told you what I’m here 4. So, what are you here 4?


If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.


As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.


At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!



Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW




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