When Ambitions Overshadow Convictions

[DISCLAIMER]

The above photo was taken during “boot leave” (10-day authorized time off from duty for military personnel) following completion of United States Marine Corps Recruit Training in 1996. Only a year prior to that time, I was closely associated with members of street gangs.

Therefore, the transitionary period captured in the photo represents my ambition (a character trait that describes people who are driven to better their station or to succeed at lofty goals). I didn’t want to follow in the path of my gangbanging friends, so I had ambition to change my situation.

As such, the picture also signifies my conviction (the subjective sense that an attitude is a valued possession or an important aspect of self-concept). My belief was that I could improve my circumstances (conviction), as I was then driven to become a Marine (ambition).

Coinciding with that pivotal point in my life was the release of rapper 2Pac’s fourth studio album All Eyez on Me (1996). On it was the track “Ambitionz az a Ridah” which was produced by rapper and record producer Daz Dillinger—a member of Tha Dogg Pound.

Noteworthy, the song samples “Pee-Wee’s Dance” (1986) by rapper Joeski Love. Although there are varying definitions of the term “rider,” “ryder,” “rida,” “ridah,” and other variants of the word, it generally refers to one who’s prepared to ride out (i.e., go into action) at any given time.

According to one source, “The lyrics [of “Ambitionz az a Ridah”] revolve around 2Pac’s readiness to face challenges and obstacles in his life, and seeking revenge on the people who wronged him.” Given this perspective, 2Pac was apparently down to ride for revenge.

I easily could’ve continued down a similar path, had I not chosen to enlist in the military. While I didn’t speak to many people outside of the gangs around whom I hung about my lifestyle, I was involved in violent scenarios upon which 2Pac elaborated in his second verse of the track:

It was my only wish to rise above these jealous

Coward motherfuckers I despise, when it’s time to ride

I was the first to hop inside

(Let’s go, nigga, let’s go)

Give me the .9 (Haha, yeah)

I’m ready to die right here, tonight, and motherfuck they life (Yeah, nigga)

That’s what they screamin’ as they drill me, but I’m hard to kill

So I open fire until you kill me, witness my steel

(That’s all you niggas got? Hahahahahahahaha)

Spittin’ at adversaries, envious and after me

I’d rather die before they capture me, watch me bleed

Unfortunately, 2Pac died as he professed to have lived. According to one source, “On September 7, 1996, at 11:15 p.m. (PDT), Tupac Shakur, a 25-year-old American rapper, was shot in a drive-by shooting in Paradise, Nevada.” When one lives by the gun, one may also die by the gun.

Thus, when ambitions overshadow convictions, a person’s demand for success, power, or advancement becomes more important than one’s own values, principles, or moral and ethical beliefs. As this happens, the individual may abandon one’s own integrity to achieve a goal.

Unlike 2Pac, for whom it was too late in 1996, I was convicted in my ambition not to overlook the religious teachings with which I’d been instilled. Even though I drifted from my Christian values when serving in the Marine Corps, service itself afforded me a chance to alter my path.

Now, I view this matter as similar to my approach regarding Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Through rigorous and daily practice of this psychotherapeutic modality, I continue down a healthier path from birth until my inescapable death. Favorably, you can do the same.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Conviction. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/conviction

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (2018, April 19). Self-concept. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://dictionary.apa.org/self-concept

Apple Music. (n.d.). Joeski Love. Apple Inc. Retrieved from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/joeski-love/81474395

Hollings, D. (2024, March 18). All we do is drill. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/all-we-do-is-drill

Hollings, D. (2025, June 17). Daily practice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/daily-practice

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2024, April 13). Goals. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/goals

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, February 9). Integrity and honesty. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/integrity-and-honesty

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2023, October 2). Morals and ethics. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/morals-and-ethics

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2025, September 19). Power. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/power

Hollings, D. (2024, May 26). Principles. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/principles

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2025, June 11). Stop the violence. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stop-the-violence

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2025, February 9). Value. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/value

Hollings, D. (2024, November 24). Values. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/values

Marcos DJ. (2014, November 22). Joeski Love - Pee Wee Dance (1986) HQ audio [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/ObP8QPbnEic?si=Wfa3stLFr9zqJsPX

Seven Hip-Hop. (2020, May 17). 2Pac - Ambitionz Az a Ridah [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/77nB_9uIcN4?si=2rceOxYx9ZIFRric

Wikipedia. (n.d.). 9 mm caliber. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9_mm_caliber

Wikipedia. (n.d.). All Eyez on Me. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Eyez_on_Me

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ambition (character trait). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambition_(character_trait)

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ambitionz az a Ridah. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambitionz_az_a_Ridah

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Daz Dillinger. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daz_Dillinger

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Murder of Tupac Shakur. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Tupac_Shakur

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Tha Dogg Pound. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tha_Dogg_Pound

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Tupac Shakur. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tupac_Shakur