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When Here and Now Crumbles and Falls

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 3 days ago
  • 5 min read

 

I have particular fondness for electronic dance music (EDM) which has meaning, as is the case for much of the old house music to which I once danced my nights away. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that I don’t enjoy trance music and other subgenres. Still, I appreciate house much more.

 

To provide an example of what I mean, and why house is personally preferable, consider the track “Finally” by house music project Kings of Tomorrow (also known as Sandy Rivera) that features the soulful vocals of Julie McKnight. In part, the lyrics state:

 

Time marches on, never ending

Time keeps its own time

Here we stand at the beginning

And then goes passing us by

And I, I, I can dream for us all

I hope I’m in a better state

When here and now crumbles and falls

And you, you, you who make worlds collide

I knew you’d come knocking one day

Unannounced like a thief in the night

 

These lyrics could as easily relate to an intimate partner as they could to one who addresses death in the form of an entity. Personally, that’s far more meaningful to consider than a trance track with no lyrics at all.

 

Viewing “Finally” through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I consider unconditional acceptance (UA), through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

 

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

 

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

 

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

 

In consideration of lyrics sung by McKnight, I recognize how little control I have in life (USA), the slight influence I may have over others (UOA), and how I have no control or influence over time (ULA). Thus, when here and now crumbles and falls, I won’t self-disturb about the matter.

 

Regarding the perspective of death, which is within my circle of concern, I also admit that each moment crumbles and falls into the next. Each second of my life metaphorically dies, giving way to another moment that will also fade into the past – over which I have no control or influence.

 

Thus, when here and now become there and then, I practice UA without unhelpful conditions (e.g., either life must be eternal, or I can’t stand this miserable existence). Ergo, the moments of the past when dancing to house are gone. How’s that for a meaningful house music lesson?

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost EDM-influenced REBT psychotherapist—promoting content related to EDM, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters. 

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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References:

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