A Kink on the Hose of Progress

[DISCLAIMER]

During his “Citizenship in a Republic” speech at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910, former President of the United States (U.S.) Theodore Roosevelt is credited with having stated:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Perhaps drawing inspiration from Roosevelt’s assertion, U.S. Marine Corps leader General David M. Shoup is credited with reportedly having later stated:

The galleries are full of critics. They play no ball, they fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down in the arena are the doers. They make mistakes because they try many things. The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He is the one who never tries anything. His is the brake on the wheel of progress. And yet it cannot be truly said he makes no mistakes, because his biggest mistake is the very fact that he tries nothing, does nothing, except criticize those who do things.

I don’t recall which quote I first heard, that from the former U.S. president or one from a general. Nevertheless, it was the Shoup quote that stuck with me during my most difficult moments in the Marine Corps. In fact, I valued the wisdom so much that I tattooed in on my body.

As well, my military service shadow box contains a line from Shoup’s quote. Specifically, sentiment of human fallibility resonates with me. After all, as many tasks toward which I’ve devoted effort in life have come with a virtually equal amount of failure (lack of success).

Some people within the field of care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”) tend to shy from use of the word “failure.” This is likely due to inferred meaning in regard to a state of inability to perform a normal function.

Perchance hesitance of this kind stems from the word “normal” as conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern. Ergo, that which isn’t normal is “abnormal” (deviating from the normal or average). Though I once endorsed this mental health self-censorship, I no longer do.

There are normal and abnormal patterns of behavior. Unhelpfully, some people self-disturb with irrational beliefs about how labeling of this sort could be perceived as otherizing (the appearance of a person or group of people as seeming different, or considering them to be different).

However, I value knowledge about what it is that prevents an individual from achieving success with mental health interests and goals. Stated differently, I want to know why a person fails at improving mental health objectives. Bear in mind that people aren’t their actions.

Simply because client X fails at completing homework tasks doesn’t mean this individual is a failure. This is where the Roosevelt and Shoup quotes are relevant. Recently, I discussed the topic of abnormal success when client X’s normal routine is to simply not try.

Influenced by both aforementioned quotes, I invited client X to consider a water hose. An individual can use this tool to water a lawn, wash a vehicle, participate in aquatic play, and other desirable objectives. (For much of Generation X, water hoses were also a source of hydration.)

In the case of client X, this person has an interest and goal to use a metaphorical water hose. However, this individual’s normal routine is to simply not try accomplishing a task in the first place. Besides, if client X doesn’t try, this person can’t actually fail. Right? Wrong.

The desire (interest) to complete homework tasks (goals) isn’t fully realized when client X simply doesn’t try. Homework is negotiated in a session, thus beginning a flexible expectation. By not at least attempting a homework task, client X has failed.

Therefore, I recently likened client X’s behavior to a self-initiated kink on the hose of progress. For instance, if this individual wants to water the lawn (interest), then effort is required in order to become successful at that outcome (goal).

A “kink” is a short tight twist or curl caused by a doubling or winding of something upon itself. When kinking the hose of progress, by not at least attempting a homework task, client X will not achieve success. Thus, this individual experiences failure – though isn’t a failure as a person.

How may a kink on the hose of progress—or what Shoup described as a brake on the wheel of progress—be resolved? Client X can enter the arena and at least make an attempt at success. The effort toward progress is a success in its own right.

In this way, client X will learn what does and doesn’t work when effort is applied. “Normal” for this individual is inaction. Yet, I’m advocating “abnormal” practice. Therefore I invite one to step into the arena, stop kinking the hose of progress, and use flexibility when making mistakes.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

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Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

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Hollings, D. (2022, November 10). Labeling. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/labeling

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Citizenship in a Republic. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Citizenship_in_a_Republic

Wikipedia. (n.d.). David M. Shoup. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_M._Shoup

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Theodore Roosevelt. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodore_Roosevelt