Given how hot Texas temperatures often are, I’m grateful for having a functioning in-home air conditioner (AC) unit. Last summer, my AC was in disrepair and I relied on techniques associated with Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) to help me tolerate and accept the undesirable event.
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance (LFT), and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.
From a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
As an example, when my AC malfunctioned (Action), the interior of my home was hot (Consequence). In the physical world, action-reaction events represent the A-C connection.
Still, imagine that instead of practicing REBT I unproductively used demandingness, awfulizing, and LFT by Believing, “This shouldn’t happen to me, because it’s awful not having a cool home! In fact, I can’t stand this miserable situation!” I’d likely have disturbed myself into an agonizing disposition (Consequence).
When using REBT, I help people to stop upsetting themselves through use of B-C connections, though I can’t fully resolve their A-C connections. Regarding myself, I called repair personnel to address the AC issue while I used REBT to resolve potential B-C matters.
Furthermore, REBT uses the technique of unconditional acceptance (UA) to relieve suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance, unconditional other-acceptance, and unconditional life-acceptance.
Using psychoeducation with people who are unfamiliar with REBT, I generally begin teaching about self-disturbance with instruction about demandingness. This is because I find that most people with whom I work can readily identify should, must, and ought-type beliefs.
Having practiced REBT in my personal and professional life for a number of years, I’ve come to appreciate the nuanced perspective of how shoulds serve a functional or mal-functional purpose. To elucidate this point, I stated in a blogpost entitled People Who Live in Glass Houses:
[I]n a blogpost entitled Shoulding at the Supermarket, I addressed the difference between self-disturbing absolutistic shoulds and conditional shoulds, recommendatory shoulds, empirical shoulds, preferential shoulds, and ideal shoulds. For context, consider the following:
· Absolutistic should – You should never inconvenience me!
· Conditional should – If you want people to like you, then you should be nice to them.
· Recommendatory should – People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
· Empirical should – I just deposited $100 into my bank account, so my available balance should increase.
· Preferential should – People should apologize when interrupting others, though they don’t have to do so.
· Ideal should – There’s not a cloud in the sky, so it shouldn’t rain anytime soon.
Since that blog entry, I’ve considered additional should-type beliefs which include predictive shoulds, legal shoulds, and moral and ethical shoulds:
· Predictive should – If the bus arrives at this stop in five minutes, I should be able to catch a ride, because I’m already at the stop.
· Legal should – Texas law states that I shouldn’t commit criminal homicide.
· Moral and ethical should – Morally speaking, I believe it’s wrong to lie; therefore, I shouldn’t lie.
While I imagine that a determined individual could plausibly self-disturb when using any of the aforementioned shoulds, people generally upset themselves with use of absolutistic (A) and conditional (C) should beliefs. These two types of assumptions significantly impact rational living.
For clarity herein, A-C events are hyphenated, references to air conditioning aren’t italicized (e.g., AC), and mention of absolutistic and conditional beliefs are italicized (e.g., AC). As an example, it wouldn’t have been an A-C connection with my AC that would’ve been used to upset myself had I used AC last summer.
Imagine that when my AC was broken I used AC to self-disturb. Suppose I unfavorably believed, “I’ve paid too much money than for my brand new AC unit to again malfunction, so under no circumstances should it be broken right now!”
This unproductive belief represents A, because my rigid assumption doesn’t allow for any other possible circumstance to exist. For instance, use of this attitude discounts the fact that mechanical items – even brand new units – tend to malfunction.
Use of A is precisely what disputation targets. Whether regarding myself or those with whom I work, challenging unhelpful A beliefs as a means of considering other viable options can move a person from irrationality to rationality.
Now imagine that when my AC was broken I unproductively believed, “I’ll not be angry only if my AC functions as it’s supposed to!” The inferred C is, “I shouldn’t self-disturb only if my AC works,” which means I’d upset myself when the unit inevitably malfunctioned.
Use of C is specifically what UA addresses. In particular, functional use of unconditional life-acceptance would afford flexible consideration about how – even when I don’t like or love this fact – mechanical malfunctions frequently occur in life.
One important takeaway point for the current post is that when using AC, it’s not that the self is broken though malfunctioning beliefs are the problem. Had I used AC when my AC was broken last summer, I wouldn’t have been the issue though my beliefs would’ve been the source of self-disturbance.
Therefore, and in actuality, I left it up to AC repair personnel to fix the malfunctioning A-C issue while I used REBT to refrain from use of AC so that I wouldn’t be self-disturbingly miserable while I was already hot within my home. Thus, I lived rationally while sweating in the heat.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Absolutistic should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/absolutistic-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, July 9). Conditional should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/conditional-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences
Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Empirical should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/empirical-should-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
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Németh, G. (2024, June 25). Man fighting against an air conditioning unit [Image]. Playground. Retrieved from https://playground.com/post/man-fighting-against-an-air-conditioning-unit-bald-bearded-clxu0iptn074yv09iee1ilblt
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