Adios
According to one source, the pop cultural phrase “body count” refers to “1) How many people you’ve had sex with. 2) How many people you’ve killed.” For instance, if person X has slept with 30 people, person X has a body count of 30. If person Y has killed 1 person, person Y has a body count of 1.
When thinking of rapper Al.Divino’s song “Adios,” which was produced by Grubby Pawz, I interpret the “body count” double entendre according to the following lyrics:
Catch a body in ya barrio [neighborhood]. (Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!) Bet nobody know[s] who did it either. (Nobody know[s]!) Adios [goodbye]. (You[’re] gone!) Heat [gun] ’ll leave you well-acquainted with the Reaper [death], son. (Fuck outta here!) Catch a body in ya barrio. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!) Bet nobody know[s] who did it either. (Nobody know[s] shit!) Adios. (Goodbye!) Heat’ll leave you well acquainted with the Reaper. (You[’re] gone!)
The obvious lyrical interpretation of a body count relates to catching a body (killing someone). Regarding this matter, one source suggests that the phrase “catch a body” means the act of killing someone, or having someone killed.
Still, addressing the dual meaning, one source describes the phrase as the act of having sex. Therefore, the hook of “Adios” may be interpreted in more than one way, because catching a body and a body count are within the same vein.
Regarding both meanings, telling someone goodbye (adios) after having added to one’s body count through sex is synonymous to catching a body through the act of killing. Of course, this is in colloquial terms.
In particular, leaving behind a promiscuous lifestyle – during which one’s body count is perceived to be high – a metaphorical death of one’s social reputation may occur. In this case, catching a body in your barrio – or perceivably many – may result in others judging the opinion of your character and then saying “goodbye!”
Actions have consequences
When practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I invite people to consider actions and consequences. To better understand this lesson, consider what I stated in a blog entry entitled Chain Link:
REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.
Therefore, from a psychological standpoint, people disturb themselves using a Belief-Consequence (B-C) connection. Of course, this isn’t to suggest that in the context of the naturalistic or physical world there is no Action-Consequence (A-C) connection.
From the perspective of REBT, person X has sex with 30 people and other individuals ridicule her behavior (Action). Then, person X unhelpfully Believes, “No one should judge me for my body count, because it’s awful to be ridiculed!”
Because of her unproductive Belief, person X has unhelpful thoughts about her worth, experiences sorrow and nausea, and then cries in her room for hours (Consequence). Unlike the physical world, in which A-C connections frequently occur, person X self-disturbed using a B-C connection.
From the standpoint of a naturalistic world, person Y kills a man (Action). As a result, he is sentenced to 15-years to life in prison following his legal case (Consequence). Although he may experience a B-C connection concerning incarceration, the A-C connection illustrates how actions have consequences.
As discussed elsewhere within my blog, I’m a fan of biologists Bret Weinstein and Heather Heying’s DarkHorse podcast. In a recent episode, the married biologists discussed actions and consequences as follows:
Heying: A woman deciding to dress in highly seductive clothing and [reducing] her ability to defend herself by tottering along in high heels alone late at night in some street with a bunch of bars in it. Right? Like, that’s not smart behavior – even though you should be able to do that – that doesn’t mean that it’s going to result in the best outcome for you.
Here, Heying uses an ideal conditional should statement, which specifies a relationship between the meeting of ideal conditions and a particular outcome, as this form of demandingness isn’t necessarily self-disturbing in nature. Under ideal circumstances, Heying apparently believes women should be able to wear “highly seductive clothing” and walk alone on a bar-laden street.
Although this isn’t entirely indicative of an assumption with which one becomes upset, one’s belief in this regard is irrational. This is because it violates the moralistic fallacy (stating what should be, based only on what is). Here’s how this illogical expression unfolds:
Naturalistic fallacy form: x should be; therefore, x is
Example: Slut-shaming is wrong. Therefore, it cannot possibly be part of our nature.
Simply because Heying and others may believe that women should be able to avoid personal responsibility and accountability for their actions doesn’t mean that in the naturalistic world such moralistic demands will be honored. Actions have consequences.
To her credit, Heying clarifies that even though she believes women should be able to dress however they want while walking alone down a street aligned with bars, “that’s not smart behavior,” and, “that doesn’t mean that it’s going to result in the best outcome for you.”
Noteworthy, I’m not declaring what I believe should, must, or ought to be the case herein. Rather, I’m addressing what simply is the case. As such, I’m not deriving an ought from an is – in violation of the is-ought problem – which represents irrationality.
Even if I were to irrationally believe that women should be able to walk around in public as nude as they day they were born, it would be foolish to conclude that the rest of the naturalistic world should also value my assumption. That simply isn’t the world in which we live.
Regardless of whether or not one likes it or loves it, actions have consequences. Person X’s sexually promiscuous behavior and person Y’s homicidal behavior represents A-C connections which, when judged by others, may result in people saying “adios” to character consideration for persons X and Y.
Three case study examples
Case study #1
There are certain aspects of my past to which I allude, though refrain from discussing in detail. Statute of limitations and the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act being what they are, I value my freedom more than the ability to tell some tales.
Nonetheless, I make no secret of the fact that in my youth I befriended gang members. I cover this matter in blogposts entitled ‘Bout That Action, 2-Nice, Anything, and Live and Let Live.
Aside from adolescence, there are many actions I’ve taken in life which, if given the opportunity to do over, I’d reverse in an instant. As an example, in a blog entry entitled Matching Bracelets, I detailed events that led to my unfavorable discharge from the Marine Corps.
Actions stemming from my poor decisions resulted in unpleasant consequences. Even in my current day-to-day life, I make mistakes of varying magnitude. One could easily use a B-C connection to self-disturb about this truthful account.
However, I practice unconditional self-acceptance (USA) by acknowledging that I am now, have always been, and until I die will be a fallible human being. As such, I don’t needless use unreasonable ratings of self by determining that I’m a bad person.
Doubtlessly, and understandably, some people haven’t forgiven me for my past actions. These people likely don’t practice REBT, so they haven’t learned the value of unconditional acceptance.
Consequently, I use unconditional other-acceptance (UOA) by admitting that just as I’m fallible, other people are also flawed. Therefore, some people will hold against me actions of the past – as to attribute a body count of historical mistakes to my total value as a human – and I accept without condition their actions in doing so.
Likewise, I practice unconditional life-acceptance (ULA) when considering that life itself is imperfect. Some people have judged me and decided to tell me “adios,” and I accept their decision without condition.
Although I could willfully disturb myself with beliefs about an analogous body count of the past, and mistakes I’ll inevitably make in the future, I choose not to use irrationally rigid conditions of perfection regarding an imperfect existence. As such, when I become “well-acquainted with the Reaper,” I can go in peace.
Case study #2
I became familiar with then-OnlyFans creator Nala Ray from her appearances on the Whatever podcast, episodes: “Dating Talk #74” and “Dating Talk #123.” On the former episode, Nala stated of her signature ahegao facial pose:
I’m the queen of it. Incredibly skilled! The cum [semen] face, basically. Yeah, that’s basically what I use it for, at least.
Regarding ahegao, one source describes it as a “facial expression of characters (usually women) during sexual arousal or an orgasm, typically with rolling or crossed eyes, protruding tongue, and slightly reddened face, to show enjoyment or ecstasy.”
As a matter of full disclosure, in blogposts entitled Story of Erica, Cybersex, I Can’t Take It, and M-M-M-Musterbation, I discuss my view on pornography and sex work. TL;DR: I’m not opposed to it.
After all, I’m an REBT psychotherapist and it isn’t my place to tell others what they should, must, or ought to do with their lives. Moreover, I value personal agency and ownership, maintaining that people have the ability to fulfill their own potential while taking responsibility and accountability for their actions.
In any case, Nala recently appeared on the YouTube channel for Michael Knowles, a conservative political commentator. In the episode, Nala expressed that she apparently rediscovered a spiritual relationship with G-d and spoke about her turn away from sex work and toward religion.
As a result of her decision, many conservatives have expressed divided opinions about the authenticity of Nala’s conversion. Personally, I remain skeptical of certain aspects regarding her testimony. Nevertheless, I’m in no position to judge Nala and I applaud her self-determination.
Interestingly, Nala and I share some similarities concerning our backgrounds. We both were raised under Judeo-Christian doctrine and drifted from our religious upbringings. In recognizing her fallibility (UOA), I’m reminded of my own flawed nature (USA).
As well, witnessing reactions of conservatives who shun Nala, by use of biblical passages, I contemplate the practice of ULA. Although in the Michael Knowles episode Nala stated that her body count was relatively low, others have taken issue with the claim.
Even being charitable to the perceivably low number of sexual partners Nala apparently claims, some people have suggested she’s metaphorically engaged in sexual activity with perhaps millions of people through the medium of pornography. Using a hypothetical syllogism, here’s how the logic unfolds:
Form –
If p, then q; if q, then r; therefore, if p, then r.
Example –
If masturbation is a form of autoeroticism, then autoeroticism falls under the same category of eroticism as sex.
If autoeroticism falls under the same category of eroticism as sex, then pornography facilitates the same mental, emotional, and spiritual stimulation as sexual intercourse.
Therefore, if masturbation is a form of autoeroticism, then pornography facilitates the same mental, emotional, and spiritual stimulation as sexual intercourse.
The logic fails in the minor premise that suggests autoeroticism is essentially the same as sexual intercourse. This is a factually incorrect proposition. Therefore, people claiming that Nala has essentially fucked the world are making irrational claims.
While it may be the case that Nala once ostensibly declared herself the queen of baby faces, her body count wasn’t artificially elevated by people who masturbated to her pornographic content. Rationality aside, use of biblical passages to discourage change in one’s behavior sends a poor religious message.
Thus, I suspect people could use ULA to recognize that Nala is as flawed as they are for judging her, and to acknowledge that one’s past is unchangeable. Yes, the Internet remembers (as indicated by the photo depicted in this post) and this doesn’t have to be a bad fact of life.
Still, irrationally demanding that a person should maintain a perfect past is, at its core, delusional. For those who wish to refuse Nala’s acceptance into the body of Christ, by telling her “adios,” one hopes they don’t catch a body in their barrio.
After all, each of us is capable of making mistakes – even repeatedly. Time will reveal if Nala is finessing or grifting. In the meantime, her body count has nothing to do with you or me, and I wish her all the best.
“I have a great respect for Christianity. I often read the Sermon on the Mount and have gained much from it. I know of no one who has done more for humanity than Jesus. In fact, there is nothing wrong with Christianity, but the trouble is with you Christians. You do not begin to live up to your own teachings.” – Mahatma Gandhi, in conversation, attributed by James E. McEldowney
Case study #3
In 2001, I was a fan of rapper G. Dep (Trevell Gerald Coleman). His album Child of the Ghetto received heavy rotation in the military police barracks of Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.
However, after several years, I didn’t hear from him and I turned my focus toward other rappers and lyricists. Several years after that, I heard of G. Dep’s legal issues. Describing this matter, one source states:
Coleman pleaded not guilty to second-degree murder at his appearance in the New York Supreme Court on January 13, 2011. He was convicted of the second-degree murder charge on April 17, 2012, and was sentenced to 15-years to life in prison on May 8, 2012. He was housed at Fishkill Correctional Facility in Beacon, NY. In December 2023, Coleman’s sentence was commuted by Governor Kathy Hochul, making him eligible for parole. In April of 2024, he was released.
I was twice detained in the Naval Consolidated Brig, Miramar and once in the Travis County Jail. Hence, I recognize my own fallibility (USA) and acknowledge G. Dep’s flaws (UOA).
Similarly, I know how some people hold my past against me, as G. Dep’s body count will likely be held against him even though he served his time (ULA). Doubtlessly, people will dismiss the rapper by telling him “adios” at the voting booth, in gun shops, and in employment settings.
In fact, they may be as forthright as the hype man on the hook of “Adios” was by telling G. Dep to his face, “Fuck outta here!” This is the way of life, even if people like G. Dep and I wish it were another way.
Some people have even claimed, much as I’ve suspected, that G. Dep plausibly had his sentence commuted in exchange for his likely testimony regarding the current legal issues of Diddy. Time will tell.
At any rate, being able to tolerate and accept what is, without irrationally demanding that life ought to be as we desire, can significantly reduce our level of self-disturbance. For G. Dep, I hope that if or when people tell him “adios,” he’s able to smile while waving goodbye to them.
Conclusion
The topic of this blogpost addresses body count—the number of one’s sexual partners (real or perceived) and how many people an individual has killed. In pop culture, this double entendre label is used derogatorily.
In his song “Adios,” Al.Divino addresses people who may catch a body in their barrio. Figuratively speaking, one’s neighborhood can be as small as one’s surroundings or as wide-ranging as the entire globe.
Demonstrating how actions have consequences, I’ve addressed the moralistic fallacy in association with a hypothetical woman who dresses seductively. Drawing upon this example, I discussed how some people will judge others for A-C connection events.
I then illustrated three case study examples, all of which addressed REBT techniques relating to USA, UOA, and ULA. Synthesizing the message regarding these cases and concepts, one can understand that despite how others treat you (Action), helpful attitudes (Beliefs) may be used to reduce self-disturbance (Consequence).
Perhaps you’ve caught a body in your barrio. If so, have people judged you for past mistakes? Given the information presented herein, do you now understand that it isn’t the bodies or the judgement which leads to your suffering?
The unfavorable narratives we use are what cause unpleasant reactions. Metaphorically speaking, we will all one day become well-acquainted with the Reaper. Personally, I’ve yet to meet anyone who won’t meet this fate.
Before that moment in time, when others may stand on your grave while denouncing you, would you like to free yourself from unnecessary mental and emotional bondage brought on by your beliefs about a body count? I may be able to help.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
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