You Oughta Be Followin' Our 'Suits

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

The track “3 Kings”, produced by Mr. Lee, is from rapper Slim Thug’s debut album Already Platinum (2005) and features rapper T.I. and UGK lyricist Bun B. The song samples Betty Wright’s track “Secretary”, and was a hit in Texas for quite a while. Those were good times!

That was before Slim Thug did some ol’ sucka shit like referring to himself as “suga daddy.” As the lyricist Method Man once said, “What part of the game is this!?” I miss the Slim Thug of 2005. Paying for play just ain’t the way, Slim Thug! Yet, I digress.

On “3 Kings”, T.I. states, “We some ballers, pimp. You oughta be followin’ our ‘suits.” In hip hop vernacular, a “baller” is someone who typically started with very little wealth and eventually increased one’s own riches to a substantial degree.

Similarly, aside from its connotation to one who facilitates sex-trafficking, the term “pimp” is often used as an expression of admiration. (I’m not saying I condone this term.) For example, if you won the lottery, someone may say, “Damn, pimp, it looks like you’re a baller now!”

As for T.I.’s reference to “‘suits”, I surmise this is a shorter form of the word “pursuits” (activities in which one engages as a vocation, profession, or avocation). Thus, the rapper appears to be stating that others recommendatorily oughta follow his professional example.

This is a flexible form of demandingness. It’s like saying “you should follow my lead” or “I recommend that you ought to do as I do.” If the addressed individual declines to follow the recommendation, it’s unlikely that the person offering the flexible advisement will self-disturb.

Presuming you understand this distinction, perhaps you oughta be followin’ the ‘suits of those up to whom you look. Hopefully you aren’t lookin’ up to sugar daddies or anyone doin’ some ol’ sucka shit like that. Perhaps you recommendatorily oughta not do that simpin’ ass shit.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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