I'ma Just Have to Get Blasted

[DISCLAIMER]

When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness.

For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. That negative outcome is disturbance.

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people often use to disturb themselves: global evaluations, low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive Beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

It’s worth noting that the two forms of should, must, and ought-type demands with which people most often self-disturb are associated with use of absolutistic and conditional should beliefs. Generally speaking, these serve as rigid commands used toward oneself, others, and life.

An absolute must narrative is, “You absolutely must do as I say!” A conditional should narrative is, “Either you should do as I say, or you should be punished!” Noteworthy, in REBT literature, demandingness of this sort is said to function as a primary appraisal mechanism of disturbance.

Global evaluations (i.e., self-downing, other-downing, and life-downing), low frustration tolerance (also known as frustration intolerance), and awfulizing (e.g., terrible, horrible, etc.) function as secondary appraisal mechanisms. Together, GLAD will make you sad or mad, etc.

While still serving as prescriptive rather than descriptive, flexible use of recommendatory, preferential, ideal, empirical, moral and ethical, and legal ought beliefs won’t inevitably cause disturbance, as they may align with distress. Rigidity versus flexibility makes a difference.

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

Noteworthy, natural forms of distress are tolerable (i.e., mild anxiousness, sorrow, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, etc.). Even though unnatural forms of disturbance are also tolerable (e.g., enragement), my approach to REBT seeks the outcome which is more likely to be endured.

Now, I offer a finer point of understanding in regard to the ABC model. There are a number of flexible and inflexible terms related to demandingness which serve as derivatives to “should,” “must,” and “ought” types of self-disturbing philosophies regarding life.

For instance, “In order to understand what I’m saying, you have to pay attention,” “You better not allow your mind to wander,” “You need to listen,” and, “If you want to stop self-disturbing, then you gotta practice REBT.” Perhaps a real-world example may enrich your comprehension.

Before illustrating a demandingness derivative, it may be helpful to add that sometimes mental scripts are accompanied by inferences (the act of passing from one proposition, statement, or judgment considered as true to another whose truth is believed to follow from that of the former).

Notably, the ABC model notes how distorted inferences (misleading conclusions based on illogical and unreasonable beliefs) cause disturbance (i.e., stemming from irrational beliefs) and distress (i.e., stemming from rational beliefs). Now, I submit an example for your review.

During the summer preceding my senior year of high school, The Show (1995), a documentary film about hip hop music, was released and which was accompanied by a soundtrack that featured the song “Live Niguz”, also known by its censored title “Live!!!” by the group Onyx.

Lyricist Sticky Fingaz’s verse was in homage to beatboxer Doug E. Fresh and rapper Slick Rick’s song “La-Di-Da-Di”. Almost all the lines in Sticky Fingaz’s verse begin and end with the same words as Slick Rick’s lines, though they have a completely different meaning.

Sticky Fingaz took a grittier perspective which, given my (allegedly) violent behavior during that period of my life, appealed to me. As an example, at the end of his final verse, Sticky Fingaz states:

Even my man got killed (Damn!), now his family’s mourning

But from all the dirt he did, I know that Hell is calling

Went to his wake, his shit got held up

By niggas with masks on they face, I couldn’t escape, I was stuck

They said, “Everybody in here, up against the wall!

That dead nigga owe me money, so we’re collecting from y’all!”

The people gave no struggle, five minutes went fast

When I said, “I ain’t giving y’all niggas shit! I’ma just have to get blasted [shot]!”

Representing with my life, a full-fledged thief

And I’m the truth; that’s why we always have beef

Do you maintain that Sticky Fingaz’s demandingness derivative (i.e., “I’ma just have to get blasted”) is rational or irrational? It’s worth noting that beliefs which some people perceive as rational are viewed by other individuals as irrational.

For instance, if you were at someone’s wake and it was held up by gunmen, you may rationally conclude, “I’m at this ceremony, because someone lost a life, so I shouldn’t add another body to death’s toll. That’s pointless! Thus, I won’t resist being robbed.” That’s a flexible consideration.

Alternatively, Sticky Fingaz apparently considered his perspective to be rational by concluding, “I ain’t giving y’all niggas shit! I’ma just have to get blasted!” You could argue with the lyricist about his worldview, though he likely wouldn’t change what he considered to be a flexible belief.

Therein lies the subjectivity of what is and isn’t rational or irrational. A person’s morals and ethics, guiding principles, or fundamental values may differ from yours. Even an individual’s stringent perspective at one point in life may change three decades in the future.

Such is my case. When in high school, I considered it a rational decision to be killed while standing on the principle of not backing down from confrontation. Now, I’d much rather try to flee the scene, part with material possessions, or neutralize a threat in Sticky Fingaz’s situation.

In my older years, I’ve given myself options. Nevertheless, you may disagree with even my latter choices. Perhaps you maintain that people shouldn’t die instead of simply parting with material possessions. Further, you may claim that my options represent inflexibility and irrationality.

Alas, this is the takeaway lesson for the current blogpost. What’s considered rational to Sticky Fingaz and I may be deemed irrational to you and other people. Ergo, there is no definitive rational or irrational standard upon which all people will always agree.

Perhaps at a wake, I’d part with my possessions. However, in my home? “I ain’t giving y’all niggas shit! I’ma just have to blast yo ass!” Disagree if you choose. However, I consider my perspective a rational course of action. Now, consider that there’s no objective morality.

If you genuinely want to understand how and why people behave as they do, then this is a reasonable starting place for your mental exploration. Of course, you could completely disregard anything I’ve stated herein. After all, you don’t have to pay attention to me, do you?

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

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