Destination Unknown

[DISCLAIMER]

In Touching Grass With Smashing Pumpkins (9/12/2024) and 1979 Wasn’t Perfect (9/30/2025), I wrote about having attended a concert at which the Linda Lindas, Rancid, the Smashing Pumpkins, and Green Day were featured for The Survivors Tour in Arlington, Texas (9/11/2024).

During my high school years, I was vaguely familiar with punk rock band Rancid. Specifically, as I attended high school with punk rocker Brian Deneke in Bomb City, I heard Rancid and other punk acts being played at various times. Perhaps most common was Rancid’s song “Ruby Soho”.

From the album …And Out Come the Wolves (1995), the track was quite popular even with people like me who were more involved with rap, electronic dance music, reggae, and other musical genres. Regarding a unique perspective on the song’s meaning, one source states:

“Ruby Soho” is one of the most popular Rancid songs, and also one of their most mysterious. The song tells the story of an itinerant punk rocker who once again heads out on the road to another “destination unknown,” leaving his girl behind. This time, though, they both know it’s over – his music has won out over her.

My favorite portion of the song is the third verse and subsequent chorus that states:

[Verse 3]

Ruby’s heart ain’t beatin’

‘Cause she knows the feelin’ is gone

She’s not the only one who knew that

There’s somethin’ wrong

Her lover’s in the distance

As she wipes a tear from her eye

Ruby’s fadin’ out, she disappears

It’s time, time to say goodbye

[Chorus]

Destination unknown

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Soho

Destination unknown

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Soho

To have seen “Ruby Soho” performed live was personally purposeful and meaningful. In particular, I view the song through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)—decisively the healthy practice of unconditional acceptance (UA).

For context, REBT uses UA to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

Regarding Ruby Soho’s circumstances, she could focus on how little control and influence she has in life (USA). If her lover – who’s merely a fallible human being and not a savior acting on behalf of love and loyalty – chooses to leave, then this is how people often behave (UOA).

Moreover, Ruby could acknowledge that life is impermanent and uncertain, as the destination regarding each and every outcome is unknown (ULA). What a subjectively wonderful song with a personally purposeful and meaningful message concerning UA! Well done, Rancid!

Also, rest easy, Brian. One.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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