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Haters

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 1 day ago
  • 6 min read

 

Although I’ve used it on occasion, I was never fond of the term “haters” (people who hate someone or something, especially regarding jealousy and envy concerning the possessions or accomplishments of others). Still, this term has been virtually inescapable within hip hop.

 

As an example, on their album Til We Die (2000), Memphis-based hip hop trio Project Playaz (rappers Criminal Manne, Thugsta and Yo Lynch) released the song “Hater”. Lyrics include “haters, y’all gone hate this shit” regarding the group’s reported success.

 

The main reason why I dislike this term is because it’s largely used to dismissively label anyone who simply disagrees with an opinion (a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter). Use of the term thus serves as a chilling effect on free speech.

 

For instance, person X says to person Y, “I don’t like that you glorify violence in your rhymes.” Person Y then says to person Z, “Aye, yo, look at this hater!” The distorted inference used by person Y is that person X absolutely shouldn’t share one’s opinion (i.e., use free expression).

 

Fortunately, this urban parlance term has last favor over the years. Still, it’s occasionally used by those haters who hate on free speech. To my surprise, the term has apparently been used for centuries. I discovered this when reading a book about which I’ve shared opinions in my blog.

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

I’ve had a lot to say regarding disagreement of opinions expressed by the authors. Nevertheless, my critiques of their views aren’t meant to resemble hate or criticisms of the authors themselves. Unexpectedly, ancient philosopher Marcus Aurelius said of behavior similar to mine (page 285):

 

What if someone despises me? Let them see to it. But I will see to it that I won’t be found doing or saying anything contemptible. What if someone hates me? Let them see to that.

 

But I will see to it that I’m kind and good-natured to all, and prepared to show even the hater where they went wrong. Not in a critical way, or to show off my patience, but genuinely and usefully.

 

I understand how authors of The Daily Stoic may consider me a hater, because I’ve disagreed with their apparent infatuation with celebrities and politicians, as well as offering critiques about their ostensible glazing of military figures. We have a difference of opinion in this regard.

 

Still, in the manner of reciprocity, one good or bad turn may perceivably deserve another (a desirable or undesirable action may be repaid with similar acts). Therefore, if the authors were to criticize my views, then I’m all for it! About this perspective, the authors state (page 285):

 

When someone has a strong opinion about something, it usually says more about them than whatever or whomever the opinion happens to be about. This is especially true when it comes to resentment and hatred of other people. (It is a sad irony that the prejudiced often harbor secret attractions to those they so publicly hate.)

 

I neither hate nor am attracted to authors of The Daily Stoic. Nonetheless, I can comprehend their outlook regarding so-called haters—apparently people like me who exercise free speech by sharing opinions online. In conclusion, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 285):

 

For this reason, the Stoic does two things when encountering hatred or ill opinion in others. They ask: Is this opinion inside my control? If there is a chance for influence or change, they take it.

 

But if there isn’t, they accept this person as they are (and never hate a hater). Our job is tough enough already. We don’t have time to think about what other people are thinking, even if it’s about us.

 

I appreciate the Stoic lesson on unconditional acceptance, using the circles of control and influence. Therefore, if the authors choose to dick-ride the powerful individuals they often reference, then I unconditionally accept the authors as fallible human beings.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to exercise my right to free speech by offering opinions. All the same, I’m more interested in critiquing ideas or actions of the authors rather than the authors themselves. Ride that dick as much as you please! Meanwhile, I’ll offer commentary—not hate.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


Photo credit, Designed by Freepik, fair use

 

References:

 

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