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Evaluations and Appraisals: Men Are Gross, Trash, and Pigs

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 11 minutes ago
  • 17 min read

 

The Scenario

 

I once adopted principles of feminism (the supposed belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes). That was until I realized that the ideology is expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of female rights and interests.

 

When referencing the term “female,” I’m referring to girls and women. When I realized that the belief system and associated movement was largely unconcerned with males (i.e., boys and men), I then shifted my perspective.

 

Specifically, I adopted egalitarianism (a belief in human equality, especially with respect to political, economic, and social affairs). After observing the shortcomings of that ideology – in particular, its disregard for a natural order of the universe – I again altered my worldview.

 

Favorably, I walked away from both feminism and egalitarianism with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding about moral and ethical considerations regarding male-centric problems. Apparently, others have also begun to comprehend this matter. According to one source:

 

Boys and young men are struggling. Across their lives — in their educational achievement, mental health and transitions to adulthood — there are warning signs that they are falling behind, even as their female peers surge ahead.

 

In the United States [U.S.], researchers say several economic and social changes have combined to change boys’ and men’s trajectories. School has changed in ways that favor girls, and work has changed in ways that favor women. Boys are often seen as troublemakers, and men have heard that masculinity is “toxic.”

 

Young people themselves tend to agree that girls are now at least equal to — and often doing better than — boys. Many young men say they feel unmoored and undervalued, and parents and adults who work with children are worried about boys. It’s not just a feeling: There’s a wealth of data that shows that boys and young men are stagnating.

 

Forgive me for quibbling with the terms “feel” and “feeling” in this source—a perspective with which I overall agree. When providing psychoeducational lessons on mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I often object to misuse of these terms.

 

A “feeling” relates to either: 1. Emotion (i.e., joy, fear, anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, etc.) or 2. Sensation (e.g., tightened or stiffened jaw). If the word “feel” (or any derivative thereof) can be replaced with “hunch,” “thought,” or “belief” (or any derivative thereof), it’s not a feeling.

 

Thus, it’s improper to say that “many young men say they feel unmoored and undervalued,” because what one typically intends on communicating is that “many young men say they believe they are unmoored and undervalued.” In any event, I concur with this belief of undervaluation.

 

Noteworthy, in a blogpost entitled Is This Actually Making Me Feel Better? I addressed my concerns with the ostensible feminization of U.S. society. Although it would be easy to lay blame at the feet of females for this empirical observation, I don’t intend on doing that.

 

Rather than playing into a victimhood narrative, which is a common practice of my former feminist approach to life, I recognize that I have personal agency (an individual’s power to make choices and control or influence one’s own life). This is a matter of empowerment.

 

Similarly, I take personal responsibility and accountability (collectively “ownership”) for my reaction to undesirable events in life. For improved understanding, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible, such as a moral, legal, or mental accountability.

 

Here, “responsible” is defined as liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent, and being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations—something, such as the demands of conscience or custom, that obligates one to a course of action.

 

Accountability is defined as the quality or state of being accountable, especially regarding an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions. Here, “accountable” is defined as subject to giving an account—a statement explaining one’s conduct.

 

When acknowledging personal agency and ownership for my beliefs about how “boys and young men are struggling,” I realize that while I don’t blame males for our current disposition in the U.S., there are some contributing actions from members of my own sex or gender cohort.

 

For instance, during podcaster, commentator, comedian, actor, and former television host Joe Rogan’s Netflix comedy special Joe Rogan: Strange Times (2018), Rogan proudly stated, “Men are gross, ladies. I’m on your side.” What are males to believe when hearing this sentiment?

 

Also, when at Coachella in 2022, singer, songwriter, and actor Harry Styles boldly said of singer and songwriter Shania Twain, “This lady taught me to sing. She also taught me that men are trash, but to you, the memories you gave me with my mother, I’ll be forever grateful.”

 

What personal scripts are males to use with rhetoric such as this? As well, when speaking to political commentator Milo Yiannopoulos in 2025, political commentator Tucker Carlson unabashedly stated, “Men are obviously pigs.” Thus, what are males to believe about ourselves?

 

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

 

Given the scenario of how males are openly derided by even members of our own sex or gender, there remains little wonder about how it is “boys and young men are struggling.” Still, when taking into account personal agency and ownership, I use an empowering method to this matter.

 

Namely, I sharpen my psychotherapeutic skills by daily practicing the ABC model and unconditional acceptance (UA), the two main techniques of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). Presuming you’re unfamiliar with this psychotherapeutic modality, allow me to explain.

 

First, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurrence itself, that causes an unpleasant Consequence. This is the process of self-disturbance.

 

There are four irrational beliefs which people often use to self-disturb in a dis-empowering fashion: global evaluations (also “appraisals”), low frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and demandingness. When contemplating these unproductive beliefs, think of the acronym GLAD.

 

As an example, male X hears that men are gross, trash, and pigs (Action). He then unfavorably Believes, “I really am gross, trash, and a pig [G], and I can’t handle being inferior to females [L]. It’s horrible that I was born this way [A], because life mustn’t be so unfair [D]!”

 

With this personal script, male X experiences more thoughts about his supposed wretchedness (cognitive), feels angry (emotive), feels tightness in his jaw (sensation), and goes on a shooting spree after posting angry online content (behavior)—all Consequences of his worldview.

 

Addressing how people upset themselves with unhelpful attitudes, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unproductive philosophies of life in order to explore Effective new beliefs. Whereas rigid beliefs cause self-disturbance, flexible beliefs result in an un-disturbed condition.

 

Earlier, I discussed the distinction between actual “feelings” and the miscommunicated term “feel.” Reasoning which underlies this quibble is straightforward. During the Disputation process, Actions and Consequences aren’t challenged.

 

This means that actual “feelings” aren’t subject to contest, as only one’s self-disturbing Beliefs are Disputed. Therefore, mislabeling “hunches,” “thoughts,” or “beliefs” (or any derivative thereof) as “feelings” prevents effective use of Disputation. Ergo, the words we use matter!

 

The process of challenging personal philosophies of life can take longer than I care to demonstrate herein. Thus, in the interest of time imagine that instead of self-disturbing male X uses rigorous Disputation and comes up with the following Effective new belief:

 

Although I may behave poorly from time to time, I’m not gross, trash, or a pig. After all, I’m not my behavior! Also, even though others believe I’m inferior to females, I can tolerate their unhelpful beliefs. Moreover, it’s not horrible that I was born this way, because it’s not written anywhere with authority that life mustn’t be unfair.

 

Second, REBT uses UA to relieve self-induced suffering. This is accomplished through use of unconditional self-acceptance (USA), unconditional other-acceptance (UOA), and unconditional life-acceptance (ULA).

 

Whereas the ABC model is a scientific approach to wellness, UA serves as a philosophical method for un-disturbing yourself. I view the former as an abortive approach to disturbance and the latter as a preventative method. Of course, not all REBT practitioners use the same style as I.

 

With my approach to REBT, I incorporate author Stephen Covey’s concepts regarding the circles of control, influence, and concern, as well as an area of no concern. UA maps onto the circle of control (USA), circle of influence (UOA), and circle of concern and area of no concern (ULA).

 

The circle of control encompasses only oneself, the circle of influence encapsulates elements which may be subject to one’s sway, the circle of concern engrosses most matters one can imagine, and the area of no concern relates to all content which isn’t yet imagined.

 

Case in point, male X could admit that he’s merely a fallible human being who has control over only his reaction to people saying that he’s gross, trash, and a pig (USA). Likewise, he could acknowledge that other individuals are also flawed, as he has little influence over them (UOA).

 

Additionally, male X could recognize that life itself is imperfect, as he has virtually no control and practically zero influence over most matters in his impermanent and uncertain existence (ULA). Using both the ABC model and UA, male X could be empowered to un-disturb himself.

 

More on Evaluations and Appraisals

 

Presuming you comprehend how unhelpful GLAD beliefs cause unpleasant consequences, I’d like to elaborate a bit more on evaluations and appraisals (e.g., men are gross, trash, and pigs). Providing context on evaluation, the American Psychological Association (APA) states:

 

[A] careful examination or overall appraisal of something, particularly to determine its worth, value, or desirability. For example, the evaluation of a particular therapeutic technique refers to a determination of its success in achieving defined goals.

 

Similarly, the APA defines appraisal as “the cognitive evaluation of the nature and significance of a phenomenon or event.” In REBT, evaluations and appraisals are generally synonymous terms. Both refer to the core cognitive process of how individuals interpret and assign value.

 

Per one REBT source, rational and irrational beliefs are types of hot cognition or evaluative cognition, as cold cognitions describe how people develop representations of situations. Hot cognitions refer to the evaluation of cold cognitions, or appraisals. Now, I’ll use an example.

 

Male X hears that men are gross, trash, and pigs—someone else’s global evaluation of males. His cold cognition is, “I’m being told that I’m inferior to females.” Then, male X’s hot cognition is, “Due to my immutable characteristic of being a male, I guess I really am a piece of shit!”

 

This is a matter of description versus prescription. A description is simply a thought or discourse intended to give a mental image of something experienced. On the other hand, a prescription is the thought or action of laying down authoritative rules or directions.

 

Describing how Rogan, Styles, and Carlson have unproductively labeled men is merely a cold cognition. Contrarily, regarding evaluations and appraisals, prescribing that men actually are gross, trash, and pigs is a matter of hot cognition.

 

Whereas a description may (or may not) be factual, evaluation or appraisal of facts result in a person prescribing matters as good, bad, right, wrong, or otherwise. It’s a matter of fact that Rogan, Styles, and Carlson negatively labeled men. I’ve provided the evidence of their positions.

 

Still, if I were to form an evaluation of myself (e.g., I am gross, trash, and a pig), others (e.g., Rogan, Styles, and Carlson are worthless), or life (e.g., life sucks) in regard to these unfavorable proclamations, then I’d induce self-disturbance. It may be useful to think of this matter thusly.

 

Descriptions or cold cognitions express what you know (of think you know). Prescriptions or hot cognitions are what you use to evaluate or appraise yourself, others, or life. The latter isn’t what you know, though what you believe (to consider to be true or honest).

 

Per one source, “Disturbed emotional arousal or dysfunctional behaviors are hypothesized to occur because of some absent, erroneous, dysfunctional, incorrect, exaggerated, or extremely overevaluative appraisal of environmental threats or rigid reactions that one must behave in a certain way” (page 18).

 

Inflexible prescriptions of this sort are wholly unnecessary. They relate to what the APA thusly defines as appraisal theory, “a group of theories stating that people’s cognitive appraisals or evaluations of a situation determine the emotions they feel in response to the situation.”

 

According to one REBT source, regarding appraisal theory, REBT “stresses that humans appraise themselves, others and the world in terms of (a) rational, preferential, flexible and tolerant philosophies and in terms of (b) irrational, musturbatory, rigid, intolerant and absolutistic philosophies” (page 94).

 

Ultimately, global evaluations (also “appraisals” or "global appraisals") serve as prescriptive hot cognitions which value (or devalue) oneself, others, and life. If done favorably, then there’s no need to dispute the scripts (e.g., people are worthy of dignity).

 

However, when done unfavorably, then I encourage you to dispute these irrational beliefs (e.g., men are gross, trash, and pigs). Likewise, I invite you to practice UA as a matter of un-disturbing yourself. Also, if you have any questions about REBT, then I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


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Hollings, D. (2025, January 6). Self-downing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-downing

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing

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Hollings, D. (2024, January 8). The baseball rule of life. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-baseball-rule-of-life

Hollings, D. (2025, October 22). The construct. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-construct

Hollings, D. (2025, January 2). The distinction between law and justice. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-distinction-between-law-and-justice

Hollings, D. (2025, April 12). The oblivion of directionlessness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-oblivion-of-directionlessness

Hollings, D. (2025, September 9). The true worth of things. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-true-worth-of-things

Hollings, D. (2025, January 16). The words we use matter. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-words-we-use-matter

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Hollings, D. (2024, June 14). Tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/tolerance

Hollings, D. (2025, January 9). Traditional ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/traditional-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2024, October 20). Unconditional acceptance redux. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance-redux

Hollings, D. (2023, March 11). Unconditional life-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-life-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance

Hollings, D. (2025, February 9). Value. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/value

Hollings, D. (2022, November 25). Victimhood. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/victimhood

Hollings, D. (2025, September 28). War crimes: A rational course of action. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/war-crimes-a-rational-course-of-action

Hollings, D. (2024, August 20). We all make our choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/we-all-make-our-choices

Hollings, D. (2024, September 29). Well, well, well. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/well-well-well

Hollings, D. (2023, October 10). When others don’t share your worldview. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/when-others-don-t-share-your-worldview

Hollings, D. (2025, January 10). Who is the one to blame? Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/who-is-the-one-to-blame

Hollings, D. (2025, August 26). You are not your image. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/you-are-not-your-image

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