How Much Is Good Enough?

[DISCLAIMER]

In the interest of rational living, regarding my approach to practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I advocate flexible consideration of a good enough standard for life. Concerning this matter, I stated in a blogpost entitled Good, Better, Best:

When working with clients, rather than advocating perfectionism, I focus on a “good enough” standard. Regarding this, one source states:

In order to remain more or less sane, which is a pretty big ambition already; we have to learn not to hate ourselves for failing to be what no ordinary human being ever really is anyway. The concept of ‘good enough’ was invented as an escape from dangerous ideals […] Yet, none of this should lead us to feel freakish or unlucky. […]

It takes a good deal of bravery and skill to keep even a very ordinary life going […] We should, perhaps more often, step back in order to acknowledge in a non-starry-eyed—but very real way—that our lives are good enough and that is, in itself, already a very grand achievement.

When promoting this concept to the clients with whom I work, I sometimes receive challenge to this accommodating approach to rational living. It apparently seems like a “cop-out,” whereby people embrace “settling for mediocrity” and it presumably relates to “giving up” on improvement.

I appreciate intellectual pushback of this sort, because distorted inferences such as these reveal the irrational beliefs which people maintain. Through use of demandingness, one apparently shouldn’t use a cop-out, mustn’t settle for mediocrity, and oughtn’t to give up on improvement.

When rigid beliefs such as these present themselves, I’m able to effectively dispute them. What about rejection of unattainable perfection seems like a cop-out? Colloquially, a cop-out is an instance of avoiding a commitment or lacking personal responsibility and accountability.

I’m not advocating that at all.  Rather, if one is, has always been, and will continue to remain a fallible human being who is incapable of achieving perfection, why not choose a good enough standard of living? After all, this is a logical and reasonable way of approaching life.

Additionally, mediocrity represents a quality or state of being mediocre—of only moderate quality. Why mustn’t one seek an attainable default standard of living? Is settling for real- versus ideal-world motivation for interests and goals something worthy of rejection? Why not settle?

Also, self-improvement is something I advocate through practice of REBT—a self-help approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health. However, inflexible standards of improvement which lack a good enough standard aren’t what I promote.

Given this perspective on wellness, it’s reasonable to ask: how much is good enough? To be “good enough” implies that a sufficient amount of something has been achieved while being satisfied with what one has without striving for perfection. Of course, this is a subjective matter.

Perhaps it would help to provide a real-world example of what I mean. Recently, I watched a YouTube video that addressed reactions of people who voted for President of the United States (U.S.) Donald Trump, and which related to a good enough standard of his presidency thus far.

Because I didn’t vote for him or any other presidential candidate, I’ve been able to remain relatively objective in my assessment of Trump. Therefore, I enjoy the ability to rationally assess how self-upset some people currently are in regard to their unfavorable beliefs.

Unsparingly, I’ve observed a number of Republicans, conservatives, members of the Make America Great Again movement going out of their minds when self-disturbing through use of irrational beliefs about how Trump apparently should, must, or ought to behave.

I find great value in being able to practice REBT in my personal life by consuming commentary offered by people regarding such matters. Remarkably, one commenter on the video in question rationally replied to the YouTube content:

Post Trump victory I think the phrase “Don’t let the great be the enemy of the good” is appropriate advice for some elements of the right wing. I agree with continuing to push the right-wing agenda forward and not resting on laurels, but also there should be an acknowledgement that what’s happening right now is a lot better than anything that the Dems or Cons have put up in the past 50 years at least and that just because it isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that things aren’t at least moving in a better direction for once.

This comment reminds me of what I stated in a blogpost entitled Perfect Is the Enemy of Good, whereby I suggested:

What are you willing to sacrifice in order to attain perfection? Yourself, loved ones, the lives of others, your immediate environment, or the world as a whole?

If you reject a good enough standard—perhaps due to the faulty belief that “good enough is the enemy of humanity”—and you ally with the illusion of perfection, where is your evidence of this rigid belief having ever come to fruition at any point in your lifetime?

For those who are weary with chasing after the wind and who are prepared to try a different approach to leading a more purposeful and meaningful life, I offer rational hope—as counterintuitive as that may sound.

Trump is as fallible a human as you and I. He’ll never be perfect, nor will you or I. Thus far, many people seem to be pleased with his presidency, many appear to be self-disturbed, and some of us are simply reminding ourselves that a good enough standard is attainable while observing sociopolitical theater.

How about you? What reaction to your beliefs do you experience? How much is good enough? If Trump miraculously achieved perfection, I imagine that someone would complain about how awful it would be, because no one else could thereafter replicate his success.

Whether or not you voted for the man, he’s who the U.S. has leading us at the moment. For those people who remain familiar with the content of my blog, you likely know that I’ll applaud efforts of the government while equally criticizing behavior when necessary. Trump is no exception.

Nevertheless, I don’t self-disturb about matters which are beyond my control and influence. As such, I recognize how much good enough actually is and I carry on with practice of rational living. If you’d like to know more about how this is accomplished, I’m here to assist.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), fair use

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