In 1993, I had a set of aftermarket 5”x7” Pioneer speakers with a Pioneer head unit that played cassette tapes in my Ford Escort GT. Cruising the streets of Bomb City, I played music as loud as my little speakers would permit without retaining damage.
One song I played in steady rotation was Shaquille “Shaq” O’Neal’s song “(I Know I Got) Skillz,” featuring rapper Def Jef, from Shaq’s album Shaq Diesel. And yes, I’m talking about that Shaq—the basketball player.
Although his rhymes weren’t particularly complex, I thought his tape was a wise choice for an addition to my hip hop album collection. I could play it around adults, due to less overtly violent themes and subdued explicit messaging.
I drove around town with windows down, despite frigid temperatures, and listened as Shaq rapped, “You don’t like Shaq? Frankly, I don’t give a damn! I know I got skillz [skills], man, I know I got skillz, man.”
When viewing Shaq’s message through the lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I consider the technique of unconditional other-acceptance. In its simplest form, this psychotherapeutic skill posits that people are fallible human beings.
For instance, suppose a critic of Shaq said something along the lines of, “A basketball player should stick to sports, because Shaq doesn’t have enough talent to rap.” Shaq could then irrationally believe, “Maybe I shouldn’t rap, because other people think I’m awful at it.”
If he chose to do so, the consequence of Shaq’s unhelpful belief could lead to sorrow, a heavy sensation throughout his body, and the act of quitting music altogether. Had this occurred, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the rapper’s content when cruising as a teenager.
Thankfully, Shaq was able to unconditionally accept others as imperfect beings. People didn’t like him? Frankly, he didn’t give a damn! Why? Shaq knew he had skillz, man.
In this way, not only did Shaq use unconditional other-acceptance—as people will retain their imperfect opinions, he also employed the REBT technique of unconditional self-acceptance which posits that each of us is incapable of perfection and the ability to please everyone. Understand that this isn’t a cop-out skill.
Rather, people can take personal responsibility and accountability for how they react to situations, such as a critic providing displeasing commentary on a rap album. After all, Shaq can’t control others, so why disturb himself with beliefs about their commentary when he can instead control his own responses to others?
Therefore, unconditionally accepting himself as a faulty human and unconditionally accepting others as similarly flawed beings; Shaq can rest easy knowing he has skillz, man. Would you like to know more about how to keep from upsetting yourself through use of skillz exhibited by Shaq?
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
Hollings, D. (2022, May 17). Circle of concern. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/circle-of-concern
Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use
Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better
Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/
Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs
Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching
Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Lived experience. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/lived-expereince
Hollings, D. (2022, November 7). Personal ownership. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/personal-ownership
Hollings, D. (2022, March 25). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt
Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought
Hollings, D. (2022, November 15). To don a hat. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-don-a-hat
Hollings, D. (2023, February 25). Unconditional other-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-other-acceptance
Hollings, D. (2023, March 1). Unconditional self-acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-self-acceptance
ShaqVEVO. (2014, February 20). Shaquille O’Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/dL6kQ0v1PQ8?si=utcZVHg4VWIDb_ua
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Def Jef. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Def_Jef
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Shaq Diesel. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaq_Diesel
Wikipedia. (n.d.). Shaquille O’Neal. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaquille_O%27Neal
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