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Examination of Consequences and Allowing for Time Outs
[DISCLAIMER] I recently spoke with client X about the examination of consequences, as well as allowing for time outs when practicing Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). As it can be challenging to provide this information in a session with limited time, I’ll now share it with you herein. First, the American Psychological Association (APA) defines examination as “a test, observation, or other means of investigation carried out on a patient to evaluate physical or men
Deric Hollings
3 days ago9 min read
Mirroring and Demystification: Don’t Add Me to Your Group Chat
[DISCLAIMER] When attending graduate school for counseling, I was taught various tools for care regarding mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”). As an example, I learned of the mirror technique, which the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines: [T]he conscious use of active listening by the therapist in psychotherapy, accompanied by reflection of the client’s affect and body language in order to stimulate a sense of empat
Deric Hollings
Jul 219 min read
Tar-Baby: One’s Beliefs Cause the Consequences
[DISCLAIMER] In childhood, my sisters and I owned a vinyl record of the controversial live-action/animated musical drama film Song of the South (1946). Although I’m biracial (white and black), I’m not offended by my beliefs about the film’s racial dynamics. I’ll explain this view in a bit. Based on the collective written stories Uncle Remus: His Songs and His Sayings: The Folk-Lore of the Old Plantation (1886) by Joel Chandler Harris, the film follows a young boy named Jo
Deric Hollings
Jul 2111 min read
It’s Not the Thing Itself That Troubles You, but Only Your Judgment of It
[DISCLAIMER] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, who stated, “When you are distressed by an external thing, it’s not the thing itself that troubles you, but only your
Deric Hollings
Jul 1010 min read
Self-Distress and Distress Tolerance
[DISCLAIMER] Photo credit, fair use Early in my graduate studies regarding professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I chose to practice Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), a psychotherapeutic modality developed by the late psychologist Albert Ellis. REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption,
Deric Hollings
Jul 711 min read
If Your Reaction Isn’t Disturbed, Then Why Is It Disturbed-Coded?
[DISCLAIMER] When providing professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I predominately use Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). For those who remain unfamiliar with this psychotherapeutic modality, allow me to discuss one of its tools. REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, not the occurren
Deric Hollings
Jul 17 min read
What If
[DISCLAIMER] Blog Entries Dating Back Several Years Have Vindicated My Views The photo above was taken in June 2020, during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic. Although I was highly skeptical of claims regarding the United States (U.S.) government’s response to COVID-19, masking procedures were required within my place of employment. I complied with guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), World Health Organization (WHO), and Anthony Fa
Deric Hollings
Jun 2914 min read
Losing It
[DISCLAIMER] When listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by DJ Luane, I heard her spin the Henry Himself remix “Losing It (Henry Himself Remix)” (2025) of Fisher’s original track “Losing It” (2018). Repetitively, the lyrics state, “I’m losing it!” The phrase “losing it” is the past participle of “lose it,” as in “falling apart,” which means to yield to mental or emotional stress. For example, person X lost it when he was told there’d be yet another delay. As
Deric Hollings
Jun 235 min read
Made Me Mad
[DISCLAIMER] On The Imperial (1998), the only studio album by hip hop group Flipmode Squad, was the track “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2” that was produced by Da Beatminerz. It featured lyricist Buckshot, of Black Moon and Boot Camp Clik fame, as the song also sampled an earlier piece by Buckshot. In order of appearance on “We Got U Opin, Pt. 2”, Flipmode Squad members, all lyricists, were thusly featured: Rah Digga, Spliff Star, Baby Sham, Rampage, Lord Have Mercy, and Busta Rhym
Deric Hollings
Jun 109 min read
Expectations: I've Been Sorting Through a Lot of Shit That's in My Head Now
[DISCLAIMER] The American Psychological Association defines preference as “the act of choosing one alternative over others,” expectation as “a state of tense, emotional anticipation,” and anticipation as “looking forward to a future event or state, sometimes with an affective component (e.g., pleasure, anxiety).” Of these terms, I stated in Hopeful Anticipation vs. Disturbing Expectation: Essentially, anticipation is an excited, hopeful, and open-minded looking forward to
Deric Hollings
Jun 410 min read
If Your Disturbing Beliefs Persist, Then Dispute Again, Again, Again, Again, Again!
[DISCLAIMER] While stationed in Okinawa, Japan (1997-1999), I bought I-Testament (1997) by Jamaican reggae and dancehall musician Capleton. By no means was it the first or last album I’d buy associated with the Rastafari artist who’s been criticized for his views on same-sex relationships. I-Testament contained the track “Original Man” that featured vocals by lyricist Q-Tip. As well, the song featured samples of The Mohawks’ “The Champ” (1968), Grandmaster Flash and the F
Deric Hollings
Jun 47 min read
Avenge, Revenge, and Vengeance: I Must Teach You a Lesson
[DISCLAIMER] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius who stated, “The best way to avenge yourself is to not be like that” (page 312). For context, “avenge” is defined as e
Deric Hollings
Jun 412 min read
Violate, Then You Gotta Die
[DISCLAIMER] When providing psychoeducational lessons on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I teach people about the ABC model of self-disturbance (how people upset themselves through use of irrational beliefs). Now, I’ll address a finer point of this psychotherapeutic model of wellness. For context, REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate how when an undesirable Action occurs and you Believe an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption, n
Deric Hollings
May 118 min read
The Devil Wears Prada 2: Maybe We Should Just Be Not Perfect Together
[DISCLAIMER] *The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) spoilers contained herein. Photo credit, property of 20th Century Studios, fair use I never read the novel The Devil Wears Prada (2003)—about a young woman hired as a personal assistant to a powerful fashion magazine editor, a job that becomes challenging as she experiences difficulty trying to keep up with her boss’s schedule and disobliging expectations. All the same, I watched the comedy-drama film The Devil Wears Prada (2
Deric Hollings
May 411 min read
You Give Me Such a Vibe: It Feels So Good
[ DISCLAIMER ] Imagine that I told you about an electronic dance music (EDM) track to which I often danced when in South America, as I said “it was such a vibe … it felt so good,” do you think you could identify the error in that expression? If not, you aren’t alone. Many people wouldn’t be able to! As such, I invite you to consider a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) so that you may separate yourself from a crowd of ignorance (lacki
Deric Hollings
Apr 2110 min read
Self-Upset
[ DISCLAIMER ] Concerning this post, the term “upset” regards to trouble mentally or emotionally , or to throw into disorder. Thus, to self-upset is to cause one’s own mental, emotional, and even behavioral chaos. Given this clarification, I now turn to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). REBT uses the ABC model to illustrate that when an undesirable A ction occurs and you B elieve an unhelpful narrative about the event, it’s your unfavorable assumption , not
Deric Hollings
Apr 215 min read
PLUR: Addressing Sexual Assault and Rape
[ DISCLAIMER ] Employing the psychotherapeutic technique known as professional use of self , I recently spoke with client X about my past attendance at electronic dance music (EDM) concerts , music festivals , and raves . This individual, significantly younger than I, also attends similar events. Perhaps it’s comprehensible for a current younger raver to dismiss the lived experience of an older person who used to rave in the ‘90s and ‘00s as being passé or even unbeliev
Deric Hollings
Apr 1313 min read
The Shipwreck Doesn't Wreck You
[ DISCLAIMER ] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy , this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman . Stoic philosopher Seneca stated, “I was shipwrecked before I even boarded . . . the journey showed me this—how much of what we have is unnecessary, and how easily we can decide to rid our
Deric Hollings
Apr 26 min read
You'll Have Suffered Twice
[ DISCLAIMER ] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy , this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman . Per one Stoic source , “You spend your present moment agonizing over a future tragedy that’ll likely never happen. If it does happen, you’ll have suffered twice . If it doesn’t happen, y
Deric Hollings
Mar 267 min read
Better Let It Go
[ DISCLAIMER ] In 2006, hip hop duo Little Brother (lyricists Phonte and Big Pooh ) released Separate but Equal which contained the track “ Let It Go ”, produced by 9th Wonder , that featured lyricist Yasiin Bey and a sample of “ Got to Get Along ” (1976) by Jamaican reggae fusion band Third World . Notably, the hook states, “ Let it go . Ah, ah, let it go. Better let it go. Ah, just let it go. Pull it back, let it go. Ah, and let it flow, like… (All my hopes were
Deric Hollings
Mar 612 min read
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