Lights Out

[DISCLAIMER]

I once had an earnest discussion with friend X about her wild lifestyle, referring to an unconventional way of living that’s characterized by a disregard for societal norms and that involves a willingness to take unnecessary risks. Our talk was absent of harsh judgment.

After all, friend X knew me for many years. She was well aware of the fact that I was introduced to gang members in fifth grade and befriended those with criminal behavior through my senior year of high school. Friend X also knew that I was kicked out of the military.

To understate matters, I, too, have lived a wild lifestyle. Nevertheless, friend X knew that once I fully committed myself to daily practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I experienced significant improvement in my level of functioning and quality of life.

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, REBT likely saved my life and the lives of other people with whom I’ve been in contact. Using the ABC model and unconditional acceptance, I’ve turned the lights out on my former wild lifestyle.

When phrasing the matter this way, I’m reminded of the 2016 compilation album Elements by lyricist B.o.B. In particular, the mixtape FIRE (False Idols Ruin Egos) from the anthology comes to mind. Specifically, the track “Lights Out” features lyrics which state:

Wild nigga lifestyle, wild nigga lifestyle

Wild nigga lifestyle, wild nigga lifestyle

Wild nigga lifestyle, wild nigga lifestyle

Why a niggas lights out, ain’t no turning down

Wild nigga lifestyle, wild nigga lifestyle

Niggas out here going broke for the wild nigga lifestyle

Wild nigga lifestyle, wild nigga lifestyle

Niggas out here going broke for the wild nigga lifestyle

Understandably, some people may not appreciate this track. This is where the nonjudgmental component of my discussion with friend X comes into play. Although she isn’t biracial like me (black and white), friend X (white) grew up with black people for most of her life.

Thus, she knows about a “wild nigga lifestyle” and how some people allow their electricity to be shutoff when pursuing an unconventional standard of living. As an example, some individuals would rather spend money on shoes they can’t afford than to pay their electric bill. Lights out!

While I didn’t specifically pursue wealth during my wild lifestyle, I (may’ve) engaged in activities that disregard societal norms when producing funds. Friend X expressed familiarity with similar wild lifestyle behavior. On “Lights Out”, B.o.B addresses this mentality by saying:

It’s funny how I can show y’all niggas somethin’

Somethin’ more than just coded Ebonics

Somethin’ iconic, you call that demonic

I guess niggas run from the truth, or confront it

Niggas don’t see me till I get the stuntin’

And flauntin’ this money

You’re both of a culture that’s mentally stunted

The murders’ a constant, our houses are haunted

With pain, we need codeine and weed just to numb it

Deep in our conscious we know that there’s something

More than they teach us, way more than we’re promised

Stay ‘head of my time, I’m just holding my luggage

I hope shit get[s] better before it gets ugly again

Man, I’m straight out Atlanta, like Coke in yo buggy

A mirror of ballers that ain’t got no budget

It feel[s] like Atlantis before it got flooded

Friend X used to be focused on wild lifestyle themes by irresponsibly spending on the latest J’s, flashiest jewelry, newest vehicles, and other items which depreciated in value. However, after years of speaking with her, using logical and reasonable arguments, she stopped pursuing bling.

Similar to how I turned the lights out on my former wild lifestyle ways, friend X placed irrationally-motivated purchases in the dark. Now, I invite you to consider this approach to rational living. If you’re willing to do so, I encourage you to take an assessment of your life.

Do you like where you currently are? Admittedly, it may be fun to engage in a wild lifestyle. However, how long can one sustain that standard of living before proverbially self-imploding with lights out? As said by B.oB, “Deep in our conscious we know that there’s something more.”

Would you like to learn additional information about what “more” there may be, as an alternative to a wild lifestyle? If so, I then I invite you to consider whether or not you’re truly ready to turn the lights out on an unhealthy way of living. If so, then I look forward to hearing from you.

Otherwise, you may sit in unintended darkness while asking, as is questioned on B.o.B’s track, “Why the lights out, why the lights out?” Be that darkness associated with a loss of electricity or even death, you have time to intentionally turn the lights out on a wild lifestyle.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As the world’s foremost hip hop-influenced REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

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