Memento Homo: A Non-Sycophantic Approach to Living

[DISCLAIMER]

According to one source, “The story goes that Marcus Aurelius hired an assistant to follow him as he walked through the Roman towns square. The assistant’s only role was to, whenever Marcus Aurelius was praised, whisper in his ear, ‘You’re just a man. You’re just a man.”

I wish I’d heard of this tale when serving in the United States (U.S.) Marine Corps (1996-2007), as I could’ve bolstered my critiques of military leadership with reminders of my Marine commanders’ basic function as mere humans. Framing matters differently, one source states:

In ancient times, when a Roman general achieved success and marched through the streets of Rome in triumph, an auriga (a slave [not a mere “assistant”]) was appointed to walk behind him and every so often, whisper in his ear, “Memento Homo”.

Remember, you are only a man.

It was designed to remind the general (including, apparently, Julius Caesar himself) that while his achievements were worthy of admiration and adulation, he should not forget that he was a mere mortal.

Through the proverbial lens of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), I recognize the recommendatory should statement listed in that last source (i.e., “he should not forget that he was a mere mortal”). This script is a flexible form of demandingness, as it’s a rational belief.

Worth mentioning, a separate source claims that aurigae (plural form) engaged in “continuously whispering in his ears ‘Memento Mori’ (“remember you are mortal”) to prevent the celebrated commander from losing his sense of proportion in the excesses of the celebrations.”

Regardless of whether or not Roman slaves reminded those in positions of power that they were merely men or mortal, the recommendatory belief is essentially the same. My former Marine commanders apparently forgot that lesson. Still, it’s worth admitting that one source reports:

Historians treat the story as a mix of anecdote, moralizing motif, and later embellishment. There is no reliable, contemporaneous Roman record that universally prescribes a slave named “Auriga” to whisper “Memento mori” during every triumph.

Most scholars place the core idea (public reminder of mortality/modesty for leaders) in the ancient moral tradition and biographical anecdotes, with the specific, neat legend forming in later retellings and artistic representation.

What I appreciate about this mortality reminder is that the thought-provoking anecdote serves as a challenge to behavior that is sycophantic (of, relating to, or characteristic of a sycophant—a servile self-seeking flatterer: one who praises those in power in order to gain their approval).

As I pay attention to U.S. politics, I’m increasingly aware of a need for those in positions of power to remember their own mortality. Specifically, that each and every corporeal boy, girl, man, and woman is merely a fallible human being. None of us are godly!

This applies to those politicians who behave as though their shit doesn’t stink, as well as the sycophants whose breath reeks of dirty ass. Memento homo. Memento mori. Yes, you! This is true, even if those who kiss your ass suggest otherwise. We are all merely imperfect beings!

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As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit, fair use

References:

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