Adhering to Invisible Scripts

[DISCLAIMER]

The above photo was taken in 1991, shortly after my sister and I were placed into the Southwest Cottage (SWC) of a children’s home. That’s when I began the informal practice of life coaching. Mainly, I assisted other children with their problems, while also aiding some adults on campus.

I’ve deliberately chosen not to clean up the highly speckled and off-centered photograph, as to represent the imperfect nature of my being (unconditional self-acceptance), my sister (unconditional other-acceptance), and existence itself (unconditional life-acceptance).

So, too, was my approach to helping others: imperfect. Later in life, having earned master’s degrees in counseling (2011) and social work (2014), I became a psychotherapist. Perhaps unsurprisingly to anyone, my method of trying to aid others is as imperfect as ever.

Still, I’ve learned many valuable lessons along the way. Herein, I’ll share one of my main takeaways. To do this, it’s necessary to first highlight the psychotherapeutic modality on which I chose to focus in both graduate school programs, as well as a book that I’ve been reading.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

With my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I invite people to consider thinking which is rational (in accordance with both logic and reason) – especially regarding events which correlate with irrational emotions (e.g., abuse).

Here, “logic” is the interrelation or sequence of facts or events when seen as inevitable or predictable, and “reason” is a statement offered in explanation or justification. For instance, a modus ponens syllogism uses the following logical form: If p, then q; p; therefore, q.

As an example, if I was able to assist other children in the SWC (p), then it was appropriate for me to do so (q). I was able to assist other children in the SWC (p). Therefore, it was appropriate for me to do so (q). As such, I helped others with the processing of genuinely traumatic events.

I argue that the syllogistic logic used in my proposal is reasonable, thus collectively rational. However, others may argue that a seventh grader with no formal education, training, credentials, or licensure in the mental health field oughtn’t to engage in the behavior I’ve outlined.

Whereas I maintain that the script (a principal instrument of cognitive automation: thought) that I used was rational, others may consider it irrational. Regarding this difference of opinion, authors of The Daily Stoic quote ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus who stated (page 138):

Just as what is considered rational or irrational differs for each person, in the same way what is good or evil and useful or useless differs for each person. This is why we need education, so that we might learn how to adjust our preconceived notions of the rational and irrational in harmony with nature. In sorting this out, we don’t simply rely on our estimate of the value of external things, but also apply the rule of what is in keeping with one’s character.

“Character” is one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual. Per my understanding of his proposition, Epictetus argued that one’s distinguishing scripts as an individual aren’t necessarily shared by others (i.e., there’s no objective rationality for all).

As illustrated using the earlier modus ponens syllogism, I maintain that it was rational and even good for me to have aided others when in a children’s home. Perhaps you disagree. Regarding this difference in worldviews, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 138):

It is easy to get wrapped up in our own opinions of things. It’s as if we’re adhering to invisible scripts —following instructions or patterns we don’t even understand. The more you question these scripts and the more you subject them to the rigorous test of your education, the more you’ll be your own compass. You’ll have convictions and thoughts that are your own and belong to no one else.

Although I had no formal education in the field of mental health when residing in a children’s home, I used my lived experience as a compass to guide others through the difficult experiences of their lives (e.g., abuse). The invisible scripts to which I adhered apparently served others well.

Was I perfect in my approach to assisting others? No more so than I am now that I have two graduate degrees specific to the mental health field! As such, it was rational for me to have tried to help other people when at the SWC. Conclusively, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 138):

Character is a powerful defense in a world that would love to be able to seduce you, buy you, tempt you, and change you. If you know what you believe and why you believe it, you’ll avoid poisonous relationships, toxic jobs, fair-weather friends, and any number of ills that afflict people who haven’t thought through their deepest concerns. That’s your education. That’s why you do this work.

As much as a seventh grade is capable of comprehending one’s own character, adhering to invisible scripts regarding the attributes or features that made up and distinguished who I was afforded me an opportunity to eventually become an experienced psychotherapist.

For anyone who considers my attempt to have aided others with their mental health as something akin to an irrational endeavor, we can simply agree to disagree. Similarly, you can develop your own character by understanding the invisible scripts to which you adhere, even if others disagree.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

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Wikipedia. (n.d.). Epictetus. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epictetus

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