When in the Marine Corps, a hip hop aficionado and friend of mine, “PJ” from New Zealand, introduced me to the music of lyricist Scribe who was also from New Zealand. The first track on his multiplatinum album The Crusader (2003) was “Not Many” and the chorus states:
How many dudes you know roll like this?
How many dudes you know flow like this?
Not many, if any
Not many, if any
How many dudes you know got the skills
To go and rock a show like this?
Uh-uh, uh-uh
I don’t know anybody
I thoroughly enjoyed the song and album, spreading news of Scribe to hip hop heads with whom I maintained contact at the time. Now, I think of the chorus when contemplating the practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In particular, I think of what I stated in a January 16, 2024 blogpost entitled Understanding, Belief, and Practice, “Approximately one-third of the people in my life routinely practice REBT.” Revisiting the approximation, I now believe that may’ve been an overestimate.
When being honest with myself, as uncomfortable as my beliefs about factual information make me, I suspect that what Scribe stated is accurate – “not many, if any.” Rather than blaming anyone for this supposition, I take personal responsibility and accountability for my response to the data.
If I choose to disturb myself about the claim that “I don’t know anybody” in my personal or professional life who genuinely practices REBT on a routine basis, then I’ll undoubtedly upset myself with ample irrational beliefs I maintain in this regard.
However, how does doing so serve my personal or professional interests and goals? It doesn’t. Therefore, I can practice unconditional acceptance to resolve uncomfortable emotions, bodily sensations, and behaviors I experience as a result of my unhelpful beliefs.
This doesn’t mean that I have to practice denial by lying to myself about why it is that “not many, if any” people to whom I’ve introduced REBT actually employ the psychotherapeutic technique. Rather, I can tolerate and accept the truthful and realistic situation I face.
To demonstrate this ability, suppose I use the legal technique of arguendo which one source describes as, “Assuming arguendo allows an attorney to examine the conclusions of premises without admitting that these premises—often the asserted facts of the opposing party—could be true.”
Assuming arguendo, I presume that the charge I level against myself is accurate – that I’m a bad therapist. Similar to the psychotherapeutic technique of the elegant solution, I then ask myself whether or not I believe I can stand that this is a truthful charge.
I’d prefer that people actually read my blogposts, though I’m not entitled to the attention of others. I’d like for people in my inner circle to give REBT a chance, yet they have personal agency and can do as they please.
I wish more of my clients would practice REBT outside of sessions rather than solely when in front of me. However, there’s no logic or reason in inflexibly demanding that that they should, must, or ought to do as I desire.
Therefore, for the sake of argument, I very well may be a bad therapist. Nevertheless, I can tolerate and accept this likelihood. Even if “I don’t know anybody” who appreciates REBT as much as I do, at least I’ve benefited significantly from daily practice of this helpful method.
In conclusion, I may stand in a crowd of people who go about their daily lives – perpetually self-disturbing with unproductive beliefs – though I don’t need to fit in with the audience. I may not know “many, if any” people who choose to walk a similar path as I, and this is an acceptable outcome.
I realize that reading the thoughts of a psychotherapist may not be beneficial to everyone, especially when I predominately use my blogposts as a marketing tool. However, if I can relieve suffering in my own life while showing the work which leads to a healthy answer, I suspect my efforts aren’t in vain.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As the world’s foremost old school hip hop REBT psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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