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Writer's pictureDeric Hollings

The Right Angle to Try


 

Throughout all my years of education, from childhood to adulthood, I’ve found it difficult to grasp mathematical concepts. After whatever age I learned simple division, my mind simply stopped comprehending mathematic processes.

 

When taught the Pythagorean Theorem in geometry, my mind wandered off and my poor grade in the class reflected a lack of concentration. Use of the equation (a² + b² = c²) was fairly straightforward, though I couldn’t understand the utility of the lesson as it applied to my life.

 

With applicability and comprehension issues, I didn’t perform well when it came to finding the lengths of triangles. In high school, my performance in math was so poor that I was placed in a mobile trailer behind the school with other students who also experienced difficulty with math.

 

We were mathematical pariahs, doomed to suffer shame stemming from beliefs about our disadvantaged positions. Through the lens of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT), this belief-consequence (B-C) connection is known as self-disturbance.

 

For context, REBT theory uses the ABC model to illustrate how when Activating events (“Actions”) occur and people maintain irrational Beliefs about the events, these unhelpful assumptions – and not the actual occurrences – are what create unpleasant cognitive, emotive, bodily sensation, and behavioral Consequences.

 

In particular, there are four predominate irrational beliefs which people use: demandingness, awfulizing, low frustration tolerance, and global evaluations. Addressing these, the ABC model incorporates Disputation of unhelpful assumptions in order to explore Effective new beliefs.

Sometimes, Actions, Beliefs, and Consequences are squared due to compounding episodes. In a blogpost entitled Dipping into Layers, I stated of this experience, “These layers can derail progress when attempting to address one issue, only to find multiple other irrational beliefs are present.”

 

Perhaps a brief demonstration of how this layered B-C connection causes self-disturbance is in order. Hopefully I can effectively communicate this matter, unlike how I was largely unable to show my work when attempting to demonstrate how I arrived at conclusions in math.

 

In high school, when walking to a trailer in which students who weren’t mathematically proficient were housed, I’d sometimes hear jeers from my peers. “Oh, look who’s going to the retard trailer,” someone would shout (Action).

 

Hearing the taunt, I unproductively Believed, “I can’t stand being thought of as retarded, because mom used to call me a ‘retard’ and it’s awful being labeled that way!” Due to my unfavorable and rigid self-narrative, I experienced shame (Consequence).

 

Unaware of REBT and how Disputation of unhelpful attitudes could result in Effective new beliefs, I had an a + b = c experience. However, that’s not the point at which my B-C self-disturbance ended. Forget trying to improve matters, I took the wrong angle to my situation.

 

Ashamed in relation to my assumptions about having been made fun of, I slammed my backpack on the floor of the mobile trailer and the teacher reprimanded me for having caused a commotion (Action). I then Believed, “This day shouldn’t be so difficult and I hate this place!”

 

When using that unaccommodating assumption, I experienced anger (Consequence). Thus, I faced an unpleasant a² + b² = c² experience. Back then, the wrong angle toward resolving my problems was to brood over how undesirable life apparently was.

 

All these years later, I now understand that the right angle to try would’ve been to challenge unhelpful self-narratives. As well, I could’ve used unconditional acceptance to relieve suffering which was caused by unflattering beliefs.

 

A couple years ago, I posited that the mathematical formula for the ABC model would be something like: Action + Belief = Consequence ÷ Disputation = Effective new belief. Then again, I find it difficult to grasp mathematical concepts and this formula may not make sense.

 

In any case, having come a long way since my days of formal education, I now use psychoeducation to teach people about REBT. If you’ve found this lesson helpful and would like to know more about this psychotherapeutic modality, I’m here to help.

 

If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

 

References:

 

Hollings, D. (2024, August 7). Awfulizing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/awfulizing

Hollings, D. (2024, March 19). Consequences. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/consequences

Hollings, D. (2022, October 31). Demandingness. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/demandingness

Hollings, D. (2023, February 20). Dipping into layers. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/dipping-into-layers

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2024, April 2). Four major irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/four-major-irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (2023, September 13). Global evaluations. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/global-evaluations

Hollings, D. (2024, August 27). Guilt and shame are choices. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/guilt-and-shame-are-choices

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2023, May 18). Irrational beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/irrational-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2022, November 10). Labeling. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/labeling

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2022, December 2). Low frustration tolerance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/low-frustration-tolerance

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2024, April 22). On disputing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-disputing

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, January 1). Psychoeducation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychoeducation

Hollings, D. (2023, September 15). Psychotherapeutic modalities. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapeutic-modalities

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, January 4). Rigid vs. rigorous. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rigid-vs-rigorous

Hollings, D. (2022, November 1). Self-disturbance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/self-disturbance

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Sensation. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/sensation

Hollings, D. (2022, October 7). Should, must, and ought. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/should-must-and-ought

Hollings, D. (2024, February 27). Suffering, struggling, and battling vs. experiencing. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/suffering-struggling-and-battling-vs-experiencing

Hollings, D. (2022, November 9). The ABC model. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-abc-model

Hollings, D. (2022, December 25). The B-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-b-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The critical A. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-critical-a

Hollings, D. (2024, September 17). The E-C connection. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-e-c-connection

Hollings, D. (2022, November 2). The formula. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/the-formula

Hollings, D. (2022, July 11). Unconditional acceptance. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/unconditional-acceptance

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