Suppose you’re someone who’s interested in Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) and you seek behavioral health care services with me. What can you expect from our work together?
I let prospective clients know that unlike many other psychotherapeutic modalities which may help people feel better, REBT is a form of cognitive behavior therapy that aims to help people get better. What does that mean?
The distinction is that feeling better likely involves enjoyment through the process of validation while getting better often involves unenjoyable discomfort through the process of disputation regarding one’s irrational beliefs. I suspect you’re probably familiar with discomfort as a means of growing.
For instance, have you ever tried saving money? If so, you plausibly denied yourself comfort associated with frivolous spending in order to grow your bank account. Thus, discomfort was a necessary step to achieve your interests and goals.
Using another example, have you ever tried to increase your strength through weight training? If so, you probably experienced significant discomfort associated with challenging repetitions and sets required for muscular hypertrophy. Thus, discomfort was a necessary component for growth.
Whether concerning your bank account or body, you use trade-offs—giving up of one thing in return for another. You perceivably gave up unnecessary spending or time that could’ve been spent in an environment other than a gym so that you could attain your personal goals.
This is precisely how I approach REBT. There are trade-offs involved with improving your level of function and quality of life. What are some examples of these trade-offs?
Rather than assuming a victimhood narrative whereby you blame others for your emotional or behavioral responses, you instead take personal responsibility and accountability for your mood and actions. You give up blaming and adopt ownership.
Additionally, you abandon rigid expectations of yourself, others, and the world while adopting unconditional acceptance regarding matters over which you have no control or little influence. Why use trade-offs? To answer this, consider what one source states:
A trade-off (or tradeoff) is a situational decision that involves diminishing or losing on quality, quantity, or property of a set or design in return for gains in other aspects. In simple terms, a tradeoff is where one thing increases, and another must decrease.
With trade-offs for behavioral health care, your ability to tolerate and accept undesirable events increases, though you should, must, or ought to decrease your self-disturbing beliefs in order to be successful with REBT. Thus, you can’t have both an unhelpful attitude and unending joy or pleasure.
Regarding that matter, I’m not guaranteeing a specific outcome such as happiness if you choose to practice REBT. Rather, I’m offering the ability to attain contentment through the process of eudaimonia (a well-lived life). Expanding upon this approach, one source states:
Fallible humans do not want to accept the inevitable disappointments, losses, and frustrations of life. Fallible humans quickly demand that things not be as they sometimes are. Our rigid and extreme attitudes prevent us from accepting things we do not like and cannot change.
If this sounds a little like you, my best advice is to work on cultivating your ability to accept those things you do not like and cannot change. There is no magic therapy. There are no perfect solutions. Different paths and choices typically have trade-offs.
I sometimes say, “Pick your poison.” There are no superhumans, no utopias, and there is no certainty. There is no effort-free therapy. REBT is an efficient and effective therapy if you work hard at it and commit to doing what it takes to maintain and extend your progress for the rest of your life.
What can you expect from our work together? You can anticipate discomfort on the path of growth when headed toward personal goals which you set for yourself. You can also expect a lot of work outside of our sessions, as you’ll gain tools which you may take with you and use for the rest of your life.
If you’re looking for a provider who works to help you understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.
As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.
At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply helping you to feel better, I want to help you get better!
Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW
References:
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