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Aspiration and Inspiration: Walk Away From Trouble, if You Can
[DISCLAIMER] The American Psychological Association (APA) defines aspiration as “an ambition, goal, or any kind of desired end that might be achieved through personal effort.” This is a matter that I address with personal and professional practice of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT). In this regard, to assist with my approach to care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), I tend to rely on inspiration, which the APA defines as
Deric Hollings
22 hours ago8 min read
Carnales: I Wish You Were Here
[DISCLAIMER] My introduction to gangs and gang sets was in fifth grade, when I was occasionally assaulted and battered by members of the Crips during recess and after school let out for the day. Unlike the common saying “if you can’t beat them, join them,” I simply chose to befriend gang members. In doing so, I was no longer bullied. Then, after having continued friendly relations with the Crips until and throughout high school, I also befriended members of the Bloods and
Deric Hollings
2 days ago11 min read
Accept It
[DISCLAIMER] On Canadian lyricist Classified’s fifth major release, Tomorrow Could Be the Day Things Change (2018), is the song “Accept It”. Personally meaningful, he states on the second verse: He was searching for some work, referred to the reserves Took it further, got deployed to serve his country undeterred His wife worried, crying, when she hugged him and said goodbye Told his kids he had to leave, but they never understood why, no Active duty, overseas, saw some th
Deric Hollings
3 days ago8 min read
Between a Cock and a Hard Place: It’s All Men Until It’s No Men
[DISCLAIMER] All Men I occasionally write about my lived experienced pertaining to graduate studies at the University of Texas at Austin School of Social Work (SSW), regarding the University of Texas (UT) at Austin (2012-2014). For example, I stated in Woke: These Bitches Are Crazy!: I was told that all males (i.e., boys and men) were oppressors, maintained privileges not afforded to females (i.e., girls and women), and that members of my sex (i.e., male) and gender (i.
Deric Hollings
4 days ago25 min read
God May Forgive You, but I Won’t. Jesus Loves You, but I Don’t.
[DISCLAIMER] Allow me to present a relatively controversial perspective regarding my approach to personal and professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”). Before doing so, it may be useful to define a number of terms. According to one source: A supreme deity, supreme being, supreme god, or simply just God (often with capital G), is a deity within theistic belief systems which is believed to be the ultimate cause of all thi
Deric Hollings
5 days ago9 min read
I'm So Glad!
[DISCLAIMER] From when she was approximately six-months-old, until the week of her fifth birthday, I helped raise the daughter of the woman with whom I was in love. After marrying the woman, the dad of my stepdaughter insisted that she not refer to me as “dad,” “father,” or any derivative thereof. Therefore, she called me “my Deric.” Admittedly understating the matter, I loved her very much! Nevertheless, when my wife left me, contact with the little girl I’d helped raise
Deric Hollings
7 days ago6 min read
Unfavorable Conditions: Unconditional Acceptance, Not Radical Acceptance or Universal Acceptance
[DISCLAIMER] Photo credit, Designed by Magnific, fair use What comes to mind when hearing the term unfavorable conditions? Do you imagine something like a small sea vessel navigating choppy waters of the sea? That’s one way of thinking about unfavorable conditions, pertaining to circumstances, environments, or states which are disadvantageous, challenging, or harmful to success, growth, or well-being. Yet, that’s not quite what this blogpost is about. Rather, unfavorabl
Deric Hollings
7 days ago9 min read
You Are a Changeable Person, Who Sometimes Acts Well and Sometimes Behaves Badly
[DISCLAIMER] On the collaborative album by lyricist Kota the Friend and music producer Statik Selektah, To See a Sunset (2023), is the song “Real Ones”. Noteworthy, it contains a sample of Bettye Swann’s track “Either You Love Me or You Leave Me” (1975) and has a relaxed quality to it. In his first verse, Kota states, “People judge left and right, everyone is fallible [liable to be erroneous]. Fuck the world! Focus on the babies comin’ after you. Middle finger to your opi
Deric Hollings
Sep 297 min read
I’m Livin’ My Best Life
[DISCLAIMER] There’s an expression made popular years ago, “living my best life,” about which one source states, “Usually people have specific conditions under which they would like to live, and have specific goals they want to achieve for that to happen.” I’m not fond of this aspirational saying. Generally, people used to endorse this pretentious aphorism when gloating about their own egotistical endeavors. To expand upon my assertion, another source states of this once-
Deric Hollings
Sep 245 min read
I Did Some Dirty Shit That’s Way Far Out My Reach
[DISCLAIMER] On his album ElCamino 2 (2019), lyricist ElCamino released the track “Eat”, which was produced by Rick Hyde. Within the chorus, ElCamino states, “I did some dirty shit that’s way far out my reach.” Here, “dirty” regards impure, and “shit” relates to deeds. When contemplating the lyricist’s healthy perspective, concerning matters of the past being “way far” out of is reach, a psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) now comes to min
Deric Hollings
Sep 235 min read
I Cut Off a Couple of Friends, and They’re Not Allowed to Come Back
[DISCLAIMER] When prospective clients reach out to me regarding professional care for mental, emotional, and behavioral health (collectively “mental health”), they sometimes appear to be taken aback when learning that I advocate cutting people off (terminating social relationships of various sorts). Still, I stated in Cutting That Which Isn’t Necessary, “It’s often the case in one’s impermanent and uncertain life that cutting that which isn’t necessary is the best option
Deric Hollings
Sep 226 min read
Culture War: An Unsightly Cleavage
[DISCLAIMER] What’s Culture? What’s War? And What’s That About Cleavage? I used to enjoy discussions with other hip hop aficionados about whether or not the element of society in which we partook was a culture or a mere subculture. For context, the American Psychological Association (APA) thusly defines culture: 1. the values, beliefs, language, rituals, traditions, and other behaviors that are passed from one generation to another within any social group. Broad definit
Deric Hollings
Sep 2118 min read
It’s You That Must Change, You Must Take Full Control
[DISCLAIMER] When listening to an electronic dance music (EDM) DJ Set by Lisa Marty, I heard her spin the song “Take Control” (2026) by Alexey Union and Aves Volare. The lyrics state: It’s you that must change when enough is enough You gotta get on your feet when the goin’ gets tough There’s no time to think, just the time to react Life is gone in a blink; it’s a matter of fact No one will come to save your own soul It’s not done till it’s done, you must take full control
Deric Hollings
Sep 199 min read
Trying to Grab Hold of What You Can’t Control
[DISCLAIMER] A psychoeducational lesson on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) came to mind when listening to the track “Grab Hold” by the Perceptionists (lyricists Mr. Lif and Akrobatik, and DJ Fakts One), produced by 8-Bza, and from the album Resolution (2017). The chorus states: Trying to grab hold of what you can’t control [x2] (There’s no end, when you’re…) Trying to grab hold of what you can’t control (You can’t win, when you’re…) Trying to grab hold of what yo
Deric Hollings
Sep 145 min read
Dominance, Locus of Control, and Chauvinism
[DISCLAIMER] Photo credit, fair use Defining Terms When listening to the latest electronic dance music (EDM) DJ set by Roksana—who’s not yet produced a mix that I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed—I heard her spin the hard techno/Schranz song “Domination” (2025), by Holy Priest and REKKT. It damn near melted my face off /s! For context, in common parlance, domination is defined as supremacy or preeminence over another, exercise of mastery or ruling power, and exercise of prepo
Deric Hollings
Sep 116 min read
Two Tears in a Bucket, Fuck It
[DISCLAIMER] Photo credit, property of New Line Cinema, fair use I recall when the hip hop comedy film House Party (1990) was released. As I was a fan of duo Kid ‘n Play (lyricists Christopher “Kid” Reid and Christopher “Play” Martin), I laughed quite a bit at their comedic antics. Among my peers, recitation of House Party lines was common. This included one scene in which members of R&B group Full Force confronted singer George Clinton (of music collective Parliament-Fun
Deric Hollings
Aug 318 min read
Trust and No Take-Backs: What Is Done Is Done
[DISCLAIMER] In elementary school, my sisters and I were latchkey kids (children who return to an empty home after school, or who are often left at home with no supervision). Frequently subject to boredom, we found novel ways of entertaining ourselves—often to the detriment of one another. Employing a psychotherapeutic technique known as use of self, I told client X, “My sisters and I would intentionally drag our thick cotton socks across 1980’s plush carpet, generating l
Deric Hollings
Aug 3011 min read
It’s Called EDM, Not ESM, But I’ll Unconditionally Accept It Either Way
[DISCLAIMER] When recently discussing electronic dance music (EDM) with client X, I employed the psychotherapeutic technique of professional use of self by briefly mentioning my former hobby as a DJ and period of time in my life when I attended nightclubs, festivals, and raves. As client X is also a fan of EDM, I said, “Back in my day,” at the risk of sounding like an old fogy, “we understood that it was called ‘electronic dance music’ for a reason, not ESM—electronic sta
Deric Hollings
Aug 285 min read
I Started Thinking With My Mind, and Not My Dick: Which Head Controls You?
[DISCLAIMER] Water Underwear – Why so beeg? As summertime is in full effect, I’m reminded of a conversation that I once had with friend X about bikinis (two-piece bathing suits worn by women, which do not cover the midriff). She laughed when I referred to these popular swimwear items as “water underwear.” Somehow, people are supposed to abandon thoughts (the process of thinking, an idea, image, opinion, or other product of thinking, and attention or consideration given
Deric Hollings
Aug 2514 min read
Reasoned Choice: What Can You Control?
[DISCLAIMER] As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. The Stoic Epictetus stated, “I tell you, you only have to learn to live like the healthy person does . . . living with complete confidence. What confidence? The only one worth holding, in what is
Deric Hollings
Aug 217 min read
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