Jack

[DISCLAIMER]

As a resident of a children’s home sponsored by a local congregation of the Churches of Christ in Bomb City, I met Jack who was an elder (a biblically qualified man who serves as a spiritual leader, overseeing and shepherding the local congregation alongside other elders).

Each time Jack greeted me, he delivered one of the most firm handshakes I’d ever experienced. His grip was downright painful, as Jack would laugh as I writhed in agony. “What’s the matter,” he’d ask while smiling, “this old man stronger than you?” I looked forward to seeing him.  

I say this, not because I enjoyed the torturous grasp to which I was subjected. Rather, Jack was one of the few individuals in the congregation who didn’t treat members of the all-male cottage in which I lived as though we were figurative lepers. He regarded us as his equals.

Along with a firm handshake, Jack would ask how I was doing. He also imparted knowledge regarding a contrasting perspective from his earlier life with that of his elderly years. If memory serves, Jack was once enlisted in the United States (U.S.) Navy.

Not long after graduating high school, I enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps. When the church congregation threw a party in recognition of my decision, Jack delivered one of his notable speeches, tortured by hand with a firm grasp, and said, “I’m proud of you, gyrene!”

According to one source, “During World War I, it became more common for Marines to refer to themselves as gyrenes, usually when referring to their fierce warfighting skills,” as Jack is the only person ever to use that term toward me. Now, thinking of him, I’m reminded of a book.

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca who stated, “Show me that the good life doesn’t consist in its length, but in its use, and that it is possible—no, entirely too common—for a person who has had a long life to have lived too little” (page 163).

What did Seneca mean? Offering their perspective on the quote, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 163):

There’s no need to show Seneca. Show yourself. That no matter how many years you’re ultimately given, your life can be clearly and earnestly said to have been a long and full one. We all know someone like that—someone we lost too early but even now think, If I could do half of what they did, I’ll consider my life well lived.

The best way to get there is by focusing on what is here right now, on the task you have at hand—big or small. As he says, by pouring ourselves fully and intentionally into the present, it “gentle[s] the passing of time’s precipitous flight.”

I don’t know what losing someone “too early” means, as I maintain a truthful view of reality—that life is impermanent and uncertain. Truly, there’s no such thing as dying too young! All the same, there is an end toward which we’re all headed: death. (This includes children.)

Although it’s been many years since I last saw or heard from Jack, I imagine that he’s currently dead. This is why I don’t mind revealing his face, as I typically redact the facial images of people within my blog. In honor of Jack, I share with you a Stoic psychoeducational lesson.

Putting off for tomorrow what may be done today is a waste of one’s limited time in this life. Jack knew something about this topic, as he used to instruct me about challenges I’d likely face in the future and about how I lived in the present was more important than unforeseen obstacles.

Griping my hand to the point of injury, Jack reminded me, “They’ll test you in boot camp, gyrene, but you’ve already been tested!” He was correct. Hardship was rife regarding my past. By the point I’d made it to where Jack was crushing my hand, I’d already fostered resilience.

Thus, the present was informed by the past. The unknown future would be further influenced by the present. Therefore, Jack taught me that what I did in this moment mattered most. Ergo, the “good life” doesn’t consist in its length. A well-lived life happens right here, right now!

Thank you, Jack. Rest easy. One.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

References:

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

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National Museum of the Marine Corps. (n.d.). “Gyrenes,” “jarheads,” and “grunts”. Retrieved from https://www.usmcmuseum.com/uploads/6/0/3/6/60364049/gyrenes__jarheads_and_grunts.pdf

SirFractional. (2016, May 27). Rest easy. Urban Dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rest+Easy

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Churches of Christ. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Churches_of_Christ

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