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An Inscription on Your Gravestone

  • Writer: Deric Hollings
    Deric Hollings
  • 3 hours ago
  • 5 min read

 

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

 

Lately, how much time have you devoted to contemplation of your inevitable death? How much time have you squandered when thinking about the lives of others who are also inescapably heading toward the grave? About this, Stoic philosopher Seneca stated (page 228):

 

When you see someone often flashing their rank or position, or someone whose name is often bandied about in public, don’t be envious; such things are bought at the expense of life. . . . Some die on the first rungs of the ladder of success, others before they can reach the top, and the few that make it to the top of their ambition through a thousand indignities realize at the end it’s only for an inscription on their gravestone.

 

Almost every day, I devote time to contemplating my unavoidable death. When doing this, I wonder about how many other people are mulling over the imagined details of their end of life. I suspect that too many people are busy with the act of living than to focus on the act of dying.

 

I see people in my personal life who appear not to be aware that one day they’ll no longer exist in their current form. As well, I work with people in my professional life who actively avoid the topic of death as much as they can. Each of these individuals will undeniably die.

 

Yet, they seem not to devote time toward reflecting upon the other side of the proverbial coin of life: death. And so, they misuse their remaining moments in life by devoting themselves to chasing money, fame, and other tokens of an imagined good life. Many of them also work a lot!

 

Of course, these individuals and I will end up in a similar state. We’re going to die. Regarding those who toil with matters concerning the act of living, while perchance lacking focus on the act of dying, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 228):

 

Sometimes our professional commitments can become an end unto themselves. A politician might justify the neglect of his family for his office, or a writer might believe her “genius” excuses antisocial or selfish behavior. Anyone with some perspective can see that, in fact, the politician is really just in love with fame, and the writer enjoys being condescending and feeling superior. Workaholics always make excuses for their selfishness.

 

Aside from providing for one’s basic needs, work offers an opportunity for people to forget about the end of their existence. Besides, who has time for that when there’s money to be made, admiration of others to earn, or prestige to chase regarding one’s occupational endeavors?

 

As far as I can tell, every human being who’s ever existed has incontestably died. Now, I invite you to stop distracting yourself (if that’s indeed what you’re doing) and think about an inscription on your gravestone. Aside from your name and relevant dates, what will it read?

 

‘Here lies [your name here], [s/he] worked harder than anyone else, was adored by many, and was considered an all-around nice person. [S/he] also drove quite well!’ What does any of that matter, as you’re dead as roadkill? In conclusion, authors of The Daily Stoic state (page 228):

 

While these attitudes can lead to impressive accomplishments, their cost is rarely justified. The ability to work hard and long is admirable. But you are a human being, not a human doing. Seneca points out that we’re not animals. “Is it really so pleasant to die in harness?” he asked. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn put it better: “Work is what horses die of. Everybody should know that.”

 

Herein, I’m merely inviting you to think about your unpreventable death. I’m not encouraging you to forego working or other activities. Simply contemplate death in a similar fashion as you do regarding life. After all, that moment in your relatively brief existence is coming!

 

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

 

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

 

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

 

 

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW


 

References:

 

Daily Stoic. (n.d.). Translating the Stoics: An interview with “The Daily Stoic” co-author Stephen Hanselman. Retrieved from https://dailystoic.com/stephen-hanselman-interview/

Holiday, R. and Hanselman, S. (2016). The daily stoic: 366 meditations on wisdom, perseverance, and the art of living. Penguin Random House LLC. Retrieved from https://www.pdfdrive.com/the-daily-stoic-366-meditations-on-wisdom-perseverance-and-the-art-of-living-d61378067.html

Hollings, D. (2022, March 15). Disclaimer. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/disclaimer

Hollings, D. (2023, September 8). Fair use. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/fair-use

Hollings, D. (2024, May 17). Feeling better vs. getting better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/feeling-better-vs-getting-better-1

Hollings, D. (2023, October 12). Get better. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/get-better

Hollings, D. (n.d.). Hollings Therapy, LLC [Official website]. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/

Hollings, D. (2025, March 4). Justification. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/justification

Hollings, D. (2023, September 19). Life coaching. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/life-coaching

Hollings, D. (2024, September 27). My attitude. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/my-attitude

Hollings, D. (2023, September 3). On feelings. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/on-feelings

Hollings, D. (2024, March 6). Psychopathy. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychopathy

Hollings, D. (2024, May 5). Psychotherapist. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/psychotherapist

Hollings, D. (2022, March 24). Rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT). Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/rational-emotive-behavior-therapy-rebt

Hollings, D. (2024, July 10). Recommendatory should beliefs. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/recommendatory-should-beliefs

Hollings, D. (2024, April 21). Stoicism. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/stoicism

Hollings, D. (2025, February 28). To try is my goal. Hollings Therapy, LLC. Retrieved from https://www.hollingstherapy.com/post/to-try-is-my-goal

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleksandr_Solzhenitsyn

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Ryan Holiday. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Holiday

Wikipedia. (n.d.). Seneca the Younger. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seneca_the_Younger

© 2024 by Hollings Therapy, LLC 

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