Blending in With the Crowd

[DISCLAIMER]

As Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is informed by Stoic philosophy, this blog entry is part of an ongoing series regarding a book entitled The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman.

The authors quote ancient Stoic philosopher Seneca who stated, “Inwardly, we ought to be different in every respect, but our outward dress should blend in with the crowd” (page 255). Here, Seneca uses recommendatory beliefs (i.e., “ought” and “should”).

Regarding the ABC model of REBT, flexible recommendations which serve as optional prescriptions aren’t typically the kind of beliefs which cause unpleasant distress or disturbance. For instance, Seneca advocated being “different in every respect” on the inside (e.g., the mind).

Likewise, he encouraged people to “blend in with the crowd” on the outside (e.g., the body). Perhaps you have more eccentric tastes, as you prefer to adorn your body in intricate tattoos, gaudy jewelry, or attention-grabbing clothing. About this view, the authors state (page 255):

Diogenes the Cynic was a controversial philosopher who wandered the streets like a homeless person. A few thousand years later, his utterances still make us think. But if most of us had seen him at the time, we’d have thought: Who is that crazy guy?

For those who’ve heard tales regarding Diogenes of Sinope, it may not be unreasonable to wonder as to whether or not the ancient philosopher would’ve qualified for a diagnosis in modernity related to mental illness. As an example, one source states of Diogenes:

He is labeled mad for acting against convention, but Diogenes points out that it is the conventions which lack reason: “Most people, he would say, are so nearly mad that a finger makes all the difference. For if you go along with your middle finger stretched out, some one will think you mad, but, if it’s the little finger, he will not think so.”

Although Diogenes made some interesting points, the inward alterations of his mind were thought of as “crazy” by others who observed the outward changes of his appearance and behavior. Regarding this distinction, authors of The Daily Stoic conclude (page 255):

It’s tempting to take philosophy to extremes, but who does that serve? In fact, rejection of the basics of society alienates other people, even threatens them. More important, outward transformation—in our clothes, in our cars, in our grooming—might feel important but is superficial compared with the inward change. That’s the change that only we know about.

Outwardly blending in with the crowd while radically transforming one’s inward processes may influence others less than if you walked around flipping everyone off to make a point about the silliness of societal conventions. Still, the choice you make about how you act is up to you.

If you’re looking for a provider who tries to work to help understand how thinking impacts physical, mental, emotional, and behavioral elements of your life—helping you to sharpen your critical thinking skills, I invite you to reach out today by using the contact widget on my website.

As a psychotherapist, I’m pleased to try to help people with an assortment of issues ranging from anger (hostility, rage, and aggression) to relational issues, adjustment matters, trauma experience, justice involvement, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety and depression, and other mood or personality-related matters.

At Hollings Therapy, LLC, serving all of Texas, I aim to treat clients with dignity and respect while offering a multi-lensed approach to the practice of psychotherapy and life coaching. My mission includes: Prioritizing the cognitive and emotive needs of clients, an overall reduction in client suffering, and supporting sustainable growth for the clients I serve. Rather than simply trying to help you to feel better, I want to try to help you get better!

Deric Hollings, LPC, LCSW

Photo credit (edited), Designed by Freepik, fair use

References:

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